I don't matter....: 35 years HIV+ and... - Prostate Cancer A...

Prostate Cancer And Gay Men

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I don't matter....

4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM profile image

35 years HIV+ and cancer free for 6 years it seems that there is nothing to look forward to. My support system is not able to give me support for a while now. I feel like my super power that nothing will kill me is my curse. To be so alone is worst than anything. Here I am slipping deeper into my worst nightmare, dying alone. Sad

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4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM profile image
4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM
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9 Replies
Darryl profile image
DarrylPartner

I’ve felt alone too. Empty, dark, time slows down...., it might be trite to say, you are welcome and not alone here, but it’s true.

4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM profile image
4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM in reply toDarryl

Darryl, Thank you for the kind words and understanding didn't mean to sound trite. Thanks for the lift💙

billd9946 profile image
billd9946

It’s really no consolation, but you’re not alone. I too am single and feel very much alone. There sometimes seems no hope for the future, especially when it comes to the prospect of finding a partner or even just dating. I jump on here occasionally for support, but sometimes it’s just more depressing. It’s so important to remain positive... but sometimes it’s just not possible. My biggest concern when I was diagnosed was what will happen to my pets. I had 3 at that time and 3 years later I’m down to one. She’s got health issues and probably has not too much longer. Then what, I ask myself. Hang in... I hope it gets better for all of us who feel isolated and alone.

4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM profile image
4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM in reply tobilld9946

Good to know that I am not really alone

Terp2017 profile image
Terp2017

I hope you are free a little more encouraged. It seems like these things come in waves. We need to ride out the crest and then things get better for awhile.

Please know that having a partner can be just as lonely. A partner is not a answer in itself. They can provide some comfort but they can't understand the lose of feeling like a man or desirable,or how you feel about your body and performance. I end up worries about what he thinks of me, why he doesn't want sex, etc.

You will never be alone while you have friends. We choose our families and I hope you get involved in something you like, like a hobby. Meet new people and develop a great new family. Try a meet up group for photography or wine tasting of gardening.

Wishing you the best and love.

4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM profile image
4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM in reply toTerp2017

Thank you for your kind words

Dreamweaverman profile image
Dreamweaverman

You are not alone my friend. Thank you for your willingness to be very honest and candid about your feelings. 64 is still young these days, lots of living left to do.

4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM profile image
4OyrsPOZ-PC-KC-SBM in reply toDreamweaverman

Thank you for your kind words. It comes in waves thank God. The worst part is over for now.

Very grateful for yourkind words

Thank you my dear friend

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