Episiotomy and foreceps without consent

[RioLio12]

Hi all,

I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience to mine and has any tips to work past it.

I gave birth to my daughter 3 weeks ago, she's my first child. The birth started off at home until I was 7cm and had a bleed so got blue lighted into hospital. I had an epidural on arrival at 5pm and started pushing at 1am at 10cm. At 2.26pm my daughter was born via forceps and unbeknown to me an episiotomy had been performed.

She was taken away for nearly 2 hours while I was stitched up, I wasn't allowed skin to skin. I lost 1.3 litres of blood and was sick several times while they were stitching me up.

It was only the next day when I had been transferred to the ward that one of the midwives mentioned the word episiotomy and I was finally told I'd had one. I didn't consent to it and had they asked I would have said no and that I'd rather a C-section. I also didn't consent to the foreceps, the doctor told me he was using them and that was that. (Feet up in stirrups and epidural there wasn't much I could do!) The midwife also told me I'd been given a 'snip happy' doctor and that the cut was 4cm longer than it needed to be and it went deep into my bum cheek!

Nearly a month later now and it's still bruised, swollen and I can't sit down. Every time I go to the toilet for a number 2 my bumhole feels like it's coming out of my body and the right lip of my vagina has been pulled down into the stitches so it feels wrong.

I'm waiting to hear back from the hospital about why this happened to me and why certain decisions were made. Has anybody else had a traumatic birth that they managed to get past without any long lasting effects? I always wanted more than 1 child but after her birth I can't see me ever being in a place to feel able to go through it again.

[roxannacar]

I think you need to get a debrief from the hospital to explain why things happened. If you need forceps normally you need an episiotomy for the forceps to fit in. I would have thought they did this because baby was stuck/you were bleeding a lot so they needed to get baby out asap. If baby is already far down a c section might not be possible.sadly if baby is stcuk/you're bleeding it can be touch and go in ythe world of obstetrics. Of course I wasn't there there but these might be reasons why this happened. However I agree they should have have told you that they were going to need to do this and at the very least discuss what happened to you the day after/ before being discharged.

I hope you can manage to get to terms with it.

[Run_rabbit_run]

Hi RioLio12,

First, I am so sorry to hear that you have experienced a traumatic birth. Have you shared your feelings and physical concerns with your post natal midwife, GP, and health visitor?

I also had a traumatic birth and in some ways similar to yours but also different - I also had a forceps delivery and episiotomy. However, a delivery suite was not available so I had to wait and was on gas and air and a suite became available when I was 9cm. I wasn’t allowed an epidural as it was too late (they could only give them inside a delivery suite). After pushing I was then told the only option was forceps and episiotomy. I consented and the additional trauma was that I felt the forceps and episiotomy (this was horrific) and I found out they should have checked the anaesthetic worked before both (I found out through an investigation by the clinical governance lead following my complaint through PALS). I also found out that I had a third degree tear from the consultant who was shaking her head and saying ‘such a shame...such a shame’ which had me panicked on top of this.

I was pretty much shell shocked afterwards on top of experiencing the typical baby blues (different to PND). My GP believed I was suffering from PTSD. My post natal midwife checked my scars snd I asked her to do so each time she visited to let me know how my scar was healing snd if any problems. I experienced great discomfort and pain from the stitches and kept raising this but was being told I looked fine. There was a part where I literally felt like something was stabbing me whenever I tried to sit down. I insisted to my GP, but it was only until I had the courage (and in desperation) to gently tap over the area that hurt with my fingers (my post natal midwife advised only to do this in the shower to make sure you’re clean to avoid infection and I never put my fingers inside). I felt a huge bump like a massive knot inside of me. My GP found it was a stitch that wouldn’t dissolve and she couldn’t take it out so urgently referred me to the hospital that day (this was 9 weeks after birth).

As I had a third degree tear I was automatically referred to Women’s Physio. They had check ups with me about pelvic floor, and prolapse, bowel movement issues and did exercises with me to practise at home. If you haven’t been referred I would highly recommend you ask for this given the sensation you have described.

I was also advised to have a debrief of my birth with a consultant midwife to help understand decisions that were made and that it can help women come to terms with what happened at the birth. Unfortunately the consultant midwife I had didn’t give me any reassurance or any valid understanding and I was told later through the investigation that they apologised for her behaviour. However, others have told me theirs gave them some closure so debriefs can help. Closure for me came from talking to other mums about their traumatic births.

I didn’t feel like my body would ever recover but I started to feel better around 5 months. My pelvic floor is weaker but nowhere near as bad as what I had straight after birth where I felt I had no control.

The after-effects on my body after birth were significant to me while I was also trying to look after my newborn (with very little help or sympathy from an abusive husband) and the fear of going through another traumatic birth puts me off having another one but I have been advised if I do feel ready again, then to refer them to my birth notes and request for a c-section due to the physical trauma and PTSD I had experienced and also because they don’t think my body would recover so well again if I had another vaginal birth because they told me I would likely have another 3rd degree tear or worse.

I know our experience isn’t exactly the same but I hope this offers you some hope about your recovery as I am feeling like me again now (15 months on but I started feeling better 5 months on) and to keep talking to your post natal midwife, health visitor and GP.

Sending you a huge, huge hug.

[Pasaeoco01]

Hey there, I’m really sorry to hear you’ve had this experience it’s really disappointing when you have a new baby and want everything to be just right.My experience was different but the outcome was similar. I had a 3rd degree year and a lateral tear in the vaginal wall. I got taken straight to surgery for 3hrs and was in so much pain afterwards.

Around 3 weeks after the birth I had horrific problems with bowel movements and had awful aching and pains.

As per previous post I did get a referral to physio and that was by far the thing that saved me. I was diagnosed with pelvic floor dysfunction and recurrent anal fissures.

I suffered low level pain daily for months and months which also led to me feeling so down.

The physio recommended that I speak to a counsellor which I regularly declined but in hindsight I so wish I had done this. My physio also suspected I was experiencing PTSD.

For months after the birth I felt almost detached from my baby although I knew I loved him. This passed eventually.

If I had my time again I would requested a post birth debrief, followed up the counselling I was offered and talked openly to my family about how much pain I was in.

I would 100% ask about a physio referral and accept whatever counselling services you can access to help you understand the decisions that were made and to come to terms with the events that took place

Good luck with new baby and feel better soon x