Hmmmm.... Unsure about recent consultation. Feeling rubbish 🤔😥

[Positive2022]

I was seen in the emergency gynae clinic last week for multiple gynae issues but scan normal. Phew !!

This really is all I went for but the doctor I saw really upset me. After giving me the good news about my scan, she then followed with (very abruptly) 'do you want more children?'

I said yes as this is the truth. But it is not the best time for me. Fertility problems treated with clomid 2017. Traumatic birth 2018 resulting in large postpartum haemorrhage and poorly healed episiotomy. Currently awaiting surgery for this. As a result of being so unwell, I developed PND. All treatment on hold due to COVID!

This doctor then went on to say I need to be trying now otherwise given my age and fertility history there will be very little hope. It was so blunt and negative. She also contradicted what was told to me in terms of my diagnosis at the fertility clinic. When I questioned this she said 'well if you have been told differently i'm sorry.' Then went on to question why I have been listed for surgery and implied not to wait for this just to crack on. When i explained (feeling very embaressed) that to make a baby at this time is actually near impossible as it's so painful she didn't bat an eyelid, only stated to just get on with it and have a natural birth next time as this will sort the poorly healed episiotomy site. I burst into tears as I had to re live the trauma of the postpartum haemorrhage, saying that I would not want to risk this happening again. My own GP said to go for a c section (and she has a background in obstetrics) if I ever did have another.

I left feeling confused and very despondent about my chances.

I am trying to do what I can given the current situation in terms of keeping happy and healthy but this just feels like a kick in the teeth when actually is should have been a positive step in view of the scan results.

Hubby and I do want the chance of having another but this has to be at the right time for us. I had made a plan to get as fit and healthy as possible whilst awaiting surgery.

Now I'm really worried.

I'm thinking of calling my GP to chat everything through as so just feel so upset 😥

[Hidden]

I’m sorry your appointment was so awful. Not what you needed. My gynae (pre COVID19) wasn’t great - told me to take a paracetamol before relations with my hubby. Not very helpful! In general I find gynaes pretty frustrating. ☹️Because of my age we have decided to try again for another baby from this month test the water ( low expectations)we also suffered infertility & had a traumatic birth experience too. Obviously no can make tell you what to do but maybe your GP can offer a medical perspective on it. It’s great you have such a supportive GP that makes all the difference. I wish you the best with whatever you decide to do. Hopefully normal health services will start again soon xxx

[Positive2022 in reply to Hidden]

I'm so sorry you had unhelpful advice too. It really amazes me the lack of compassion sometimes. For me it's a really sensitive issue and I still get upset when I talk about things but her manner was just so abrupt I couldn't help but feel despondent. What I feel confused about is the difference of opinion between this doctor and my fertility consultant. This doctor contradicted my original diagnosis and then started spouting off about other possible causes for my problem. I said that I thought i had been tested for this that and the other and she came out and said 'yes but some people have these problems without being symptomatic'. So I left thinking 'do I have this problem then?' My GP told me to speak to her once I had had the scan to chat things through but as it was normal, I didn't want to bother her but it would be nice to clarify all these other things that were mentioned (which I didn't even instigate!)

Just to round off the day, when I got back to my car someone had driven into it, damaged it and took off without leaving details 🤦

I'm sorry you had a traumatic time too. I hope you are successful and feel better and wish you all the best with everything. Fingers 🤞we return to some form of normality soon xxx