As a previously active person who lov... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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As a previously active person who loved being alone, I never thought I'd be lonely...

DesertDeuces profile image

I could never understand how anyone could be lonely. I used my alone time writing, planning projects, or working.

Now that I'm pretty well disabled, I am actually saying that I'm lonely. I can't see well anymore, so I can't write or even read well. I also don't have the heart to write anything. My heart, spine, kidney tumor and twisted intestines keep me from going out and about. Anyway, the virus keeps me away from people.

Loneliness is awful. I'm beside myself with depression that I can't seem to handle.

Fortunately, I applied for in-home health care to help me with food prep and household chores. Maybe that will help with the loneliness. It sure should help with diet!

10 Replies

Sorry you are feeling so lonely and depressed. I think an extraordinary number of us are going through the same thing because the virus prevents us from socializing. Hope you get an aide and she is someone you can talk with. Like you I never thought I would be lonely, but here I am - disabled, stuck in the house because of the virus and trying to dig my way out of the hole. Please know you are not alone, and this will eventually pass.

So sorry DesertDeuces. Loneliness too can be a killer as it surrounds us like a thick fog and we can't find a way through it. I'm sure that acknowledging it is better than bottling it up. It can't be as good as having friends and family around, but please remember we are here for the express purpose of supporting everyone who is going through a hard time. So lean on us as much as you like when you need to feel that there are friendly faces out there who care about each other and our collective well-being. Thinking of you! 🙏🌈

Yes, DesertDeuces, I'm just agreeing with what Jerry and Callendersgal wrote.

When health issues further complicate our restrictions due to the pandemic spread, it becomes even more challenging to find ways to reach out to others and feel positive about ourselves.

I salute you for your honest post and much like you, although I've lived alone for years, I used to think a person could "just pull themselves up by the bootstraps if feeling lonely". Perhaps self-quarantine has been easier for me than some because I can savor my alone time.

However, I never understood how others could complain of boredom! That word never entered my vocabulary until these last few weeks when I've begun to feel unmotivated and moving as in somewhat of a daze as the days seem to meld together and my routine changes little from one week to the next.

The important thing for me is working to stay "connected" in ways I can but some days that proves harder than others. Sometimes, just reading a post here can trigger an action or point me in a new direction to lift the doldrums.

Now more than ever, as the pandemic continues, I'll be relying on the wonderful posters in our H.U. forums to put me intouch, even if by the internet.

Hope you'll keep posting because what you write may change for the better another member's outlook on a down day.

Hi there, so sorry to hear you are struggling, it’s such a worrying time isn’t it, but so glad that you are going to get help at home and you’ll have someone to chat to.

I think most of us are the same at the moment, I’ve always been an independent person even though I’ve been married for many years my OH had a job that meant I spent a lot of time on my own, but illness puts you in a different place, you need more help and company , I have arthritis and fibromyalgia but I’m lucky I have my OH I can understand how hard it must be coping on your own, we are all here for each other and we understand, take care😘

Hi DesertDeuces, I'm also sorry to hear you are so ill and lonely. I really hope things start getting better for you soon. All the best.

I'm so sorry things are, very understandably, getting to you. I am so very blessed to have a truly amazing partner and our son with me and also, like you said, I can be quite happy in my own company for times, watching the birds or reading etc. However when disabilities can prevent you from doing the simple things in life that you love, it is very tough and a huge struggle to stay positive.You have done the right thing posting on here. Sometimes it just helps a little to get things off your chest, but hearing a friendly voice and having a listening ear can go a remarkably long way! All the best with the in home help. Xxx

I am glad you have asked for help at least it will be someone coming into the home and as you say will help the diet. I think many people are experiencing loneliness for the first time since the pandemic happened. I am fortunate to be married but my husband has anxiety and depression and other health problems so even when we could go out wasn't keen, walking the dog and a bit of shopping was his usual limit. I am glad we have our rescue dog as at least people say hallo and I get the occasional natter with another dog walker. I am sorry your health issues mean you are more or less housebound that must be so difficult for you.x

Hi- I’m sorry to hear that you feel lonely and alone. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope you will find this group as an encouragement and source of comfort as you go through this season. Please know that you are not alone, we are here for you.

Keep sharing. Feel free to post anything, anytime. It can help you not to feel alone and less lonely. I pray that You will be surrounded with God’s peace and His healing will be upon you. Keep us posted.

Thank you so much everyone! I sure hope the best for all of you. A few years ago I had actually been remodeling kitchens in the apartments I used to manage. I did all the repairs, maintenance and remodels. In my own apartment I had replaced all the carpeting with luxury vinyl plank flooring. It was beautiful. The owners loved it. Then I took my own entire kitchen apart and totally remodeled it, from floor to ceiling - electrical, plumbing, drywall and I even installed all of the cabinetry by myself, even the upper cabinets. I was so proud of it. Then the owners sold the property and the new owners got another manager who was a family member.I wish I could continue doing that kind of work, but too disabled now. I really think that being required to shelter at home messed up my back because there's nowhere to go around here.

I'm trying to think of something I could do as a hobby.

Any suggestions? My eyesight is not good lately..

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits

This has echoes of me as I tried to retire last year . My husband spends Mon - Fri in a home office upstairs because of Covid and although he was in the house I was downstairs and crawling the walls . I started back at my old day nursery then found that many neighbours wanted a cleaner . They are wonderful company for me too as I chat and dust . I think you are doing the right thing getting someone in to cook etc but I would get a cleaner too so you have 2 people to chat to . Most of my customers claim non means tested PIP allowance and I have pointed some in the direction of Citizens Advice to fill them in as they know the key things to put down as it is points based . The money would come in handy to pay for this help .

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