It's cold, there's less sun, a lot of us are isolated and some of us are completely alone.... The perfect recipe for negative thinking. We may fixate on our loneliness, our pain and our failures...
But when did you SUCCEED?
For me, it was this:
Years ago, a family friend gave my parents a small jade plant. It was no more than 7 inches tall. Our friend said that if you take a single leaf from the plant and put it in the soil, a whole jade plant will grow from it.
So, I asked for a leaf so that I may have my own jade plant. Reluctantly, I was allowed to take one. I say "reluctantly" because I am notorious for not being able to keep plants alive. I water them, give them the necessary sunlight, consult the ancient scrolls (Google)... and yet, I always fail.
I was ready to fail again, but I wanted so much to have just ONE plant that I could help grow and flourish. So I planted the jade leaf in a little pot, watered it, adjusted it's position in the sun, talked to it, fussed over it... And, to my delight, it grew into the plant pictured above!
It seems like a small victory, but it's one that I'm very proud of 😊 How about you? When did you succeed?
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Thank you Starr! I know you'll excel at candle making, just as you do with your phenomenal artwork. I wanted to let you know that your paintings have inspired me to dust off the old acrylics again 😊🎨 You are amazing!
I get lost in your works 🥰 It's better than going to a museum.
I usually paint abstract things. When I paint, I'm most likely feeling way too much emotion to organize my thoughts into actual forms. But, I am always working on improving how I paint plants and animals (my post "Who Is On Your Mind" has one of my paintings)
That is a true success!!! I actually lectured myself in the grocery store today: "No. You do NOT need 3 pints of ice cream. Even if they are 3 for $9. Dooooon't you dare do it!" 🤣 Thank god I had a mask on so no one could tell
Hi CJ, That’s wonderful that you were able to grow your own beautiful jade plant. Does it’s leaves smell at all ? Be proud and thanks for sharing.
Now, I succeed every day. I know that may sound rather egotistical but my perspective and goals are very different from most 😊. Did I survive today ? Yes. Am I warm and dry ? Yes. Can I type ? Does the rest of my body work ok - a complete law unto itself. 😉
The leaves actually have no scent! It's a very inconspicuous plant... Unless it gets too big 😬
I love your successes! These "little" victories are so important! When I start feeling down, I run through a similar checklist. For as long as I can remember, my dad's barometer for success was "if I'm able to wipe my own a**, I'm good" 😅 It's crass, but everytime he said it, it reminded me to appreciate the little things ❤️
🤣😂 Your dad’s saying is 👍🏻. I’m very impressed with you talking yourself out of ice cream, for me that would be a super duper success but I rarely go to shops. 😄
The ice cream lecture was hard. I regret it terribly. I am drinking a smoothie of greens instead and pretending that it is Ben and Jerry's Half Baked. It is not going well 😅
I have NOT named my plant but for years I have been painstakingly racking my brain for the past few years and have come up with nothing. I am open to suggestions
I’m not surprised it’s not going well. 🙊 Our tongues are far too clever by half. Have you ever tried to write out the alphabet with your tongue on the roof of your mouth ? 😂Ohh a name - feminine or masculine?
I won't go into details, but I succeeded today at making a really appallingly difficult telephone call. I don't know what will come of it, but I did at least make the call. 🙂🌸
I'm sorry you had to make a difficult call, but so proud of you for doing it! I hope positive things come out of it. Even if good things don't come from the actual call, then at least a positive takeaway is the fact that you were tough enough to make that call 💪
Well first off, I'm so sorry for all of those tragedies and scares. I hope things keep improving for you and that you are able to recover even more than you already have.
Secondly, I'm in shock right now... My brain can barely wrap my head around all this... Because hearing this from you Curly1_ was so unexpected. You radiate pure light. You are so sweet and caring. You literally crack me up. To exude such kindness when you've been through such hell... It's remarkable. You really have succeeded in a very significant way.
I wish to have even an ounce of your strength, and a fraction of your light. ❤️❤️❤️
Yes you could 💪 A lot of life's difficulties take us by surprise. They are things that we would have never predicted or believed we'd overcome. But we do. And you are no different. You're a smart, capable, tough lil cookie. You will always make it through ❤️
I almost removed my hijab because people kept on yelling allahukabar at me during lunch also someone said you have a bag on your head People can be so mean
I’m so sorry Hiba 😢 that people can be so ignorant and cruel. I’m so pleased that despite this you have made YOUR choice for YOUR life and you are hurting no one from dressing how you wish.
Hiba, Yes, you can be mad at them. But there will ALWAYS be people in life who are quick to judge, will try and drag you down. For me, it is a lesson to remind me how not to be. 😊
That is awful. Good for you for sticking to your convictions. Everyone should just let others get on with their own lives. As long as we dont offend or hurt anyone there is no reason why we can't all live together happily and peacefully.
Oh Jerry, I am so sorry to hear that. Isolation is very difficult, which makes me admire you even more for your wonderfully kind spirit and keen words of wisdom. "Focus on simple things that make you happy" Too true ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing
Of course Jerry ❤️ I'm glad to hear that you are content and I hope you get to see your son soon 🤞
Well done you. That is a definite success. Your plant looks great and very healthy. When I was approaching my 50th birthday I decided to challenge myself. I enrolled at college on an AMSPAR medical course. I was quite nervous but determined to enjoy it even if I didn't do very well with it. It covered a lot of subjects and was very in depth. Three separate exams that terrified me but delighted to say I got a distinction overall. I was very proud of myself and feel that was a great success.
The jade plant looks beautiful and very healthy, so well done you.I decided at the beginning of shielding that i had to do, something positive and time consuming. I had a replacement deck installed, mine was over 25 years old and grotty. I removed a big shrubbery bordering on one side of the deck, removed soil and flattened the area and ,covered with waterproof membrane and laid one ton of fine gravel.i limited myself to so much shovelling per day as time was not important. I ordered a large trough and filled with plants and sat back on my ‘beach’ in a deckchair to admire. Good for tea and gin in the evening,,,
I got tired and sore just reading this, so I have to give you all the credit in the world for succeeding at such a lofty endeavor! It sounds beautiful... especially with the addition of tea and gin 🍸😊
I loved your story of experiencing this success in your life. The way in which you described this event was beautiful.Being able to nurture one small leaf, one small cutting from the 'mother plant', into a full, bright, beautiful plant with such rich, deep, gorgeous color is more than having a success. It's having an extraordinary experience. It's a stepping stone toward many more events of success you'll have in your life.
You gave your reader's a wonderful gift by sharing the photograph of your thriving Jade plant along with the description of the journey of how one leaf, with the gentle, consistent, loving care of one human being, became a success story!
Hello!!!! Hello my new friend!!!! And fellow Jade lover!!!!May I write to you as CJ???
I have two angelic, adorable, loving, caring, devoted fur babies!!!! And they're HUNGRY...so this is a brief note that will be followed with some thoughts later.
I cannot begin to tell you how your lovely success story with your Jade plant affected me...all good but very complex.
The photo became etched in my mind... the brilliance of the color...the shape of the plant...the symmetrical fullness...and, I think, most importantly, your success story.
At this point, you can't imagine what the Jade plant, in particular, means to me. I promise that I'll share all the details with you later.
Hi CJ!!Usually I'm up most of the night but tonight, for some reason, I'm pooped. But I just wanted to say hello and tell you about my two angels...and I really mean angelic souls.
CJ, I've had fur babies throughout my life...isn't it weird?...I feel funny calling them 'dogs'...don't really know why. Throughout the generations, on my mother's side of the family, fur babies were always a part of the family.
Once, my great grandmother took my grandmother to an afternoon movie. Quite unexpectedly, my great grandmother felt her fur child tugging at her skirt. I think it may have startled her somewhat because I was told she had no idea that this ...OK...dog...knew where the movie house was, but he was insistent, pulling on her skirt and scratching at her feet.
And so, my great grandmother took my grandmother home...only to find the house was on fire!!!! Can you imagine? The house was saved, thank goodness. I know, I know...there are lots of stories I hear and read that are similar. I still think it's remarkable.
One of my fur babies is a 5 lb. Tea-
Cup white Poodle. No doubt about it...she's the smartest dog I've ever had or ever have known. She has a fabulous sense of humor and loves to tease me and her sister, our rescue, dearest Chloe. We (I live with my sister) were told that Chloe is a Yorkie-Poo. I see her lovely Poodle face but I can't identify any Yorkie features. She weighs 11 lbs.
Chloe was severely abused as a young puppy. Her first home was in a puppy mill. They cut her tail OFF...completely!!! She must have been terribly abused in all ways...I see all the signs of physical and emotional abuse.
After the puppy mill Chloe became "Girlfriend". Some guy bought her and gave her to his girlfriend who kept her locked up in her crate for hours and hours with no water...no music...nothing. Soon after the human girlfriend received this precious gift, the couple broke up and the girlfriend gave "Girlfriend" back to her ex-boyfriend.
We had a neighbor who loves dogs. Somehow, the guy heard about her and asked if she would take "Girlfriend" for a week or two while he searched for a good home for this sweet but very frightened creature. He never called...never showed up and our neighbor (who has since moved) offered to give us "Girlfriend" at no cost, regardless of the fact that she was not paid the handsome amount of money the guy had promised.
"Girlfriend" became Chloe, and she was quite a handful. Of course, our neighbor shared nothing negative about Chloe who chew up EVERYTHING!!!! She shied away if you wanted to pet her or put on her harness and lead for a walk. I decided that she needed to be spoken to in a very quiet, soothing voice. I always asked her permission before doing anything, including offering treats, going out for walks etc. When I put on her harness I didn't get close to her, instead I asked if I could have her "gentle paws". 'Gentle'was the operative word I used repeatedly. Chloe only experienced positive reinforcement with me...never raised my voice, told her "I understand' if she had an accident on the carpet..I just gave her love.
Chloe began to approach me, allowed me to pet her...and now, four years later, she's my shadow.
I've never experienced the strength of her loyalty and love with any of my many incredible fur babies. We understand one another and are immediately responsive to each other's needs. I battle with intense depression, anxiety and all that accompanies those two monsters. If I stay under the covers all day, Chloe rests her entire body against mine and will not leave me, except when I take her out or make sure she has a snack and plenty of water.
Now her sister, who is a year older, is the light of my life. She so loving it's unimaginable!! She comes over to me, holds my face very gently with her tiny paws, and gives me kisses all over my face. She cuddles with me all night. She absolutely adores people...more than she adores treats and meals!! Chloe follows suit. Chloe learned everything from her, but this little snow-bundle is extremely jealous and has a temper!!! Look out if she's on the sofa, relaxing with me and Chloe comes over to join us!! But they love one another and play together all the time.
My sister is quite ill and stays on her recliner most of the time. She sleeps on it as well, because after her back surgery, she found she couldn't sleep in her bed. She suffers with COPD and needs a lot of patience and care. The trick is to never let her know. Helping her maintain her dignity is of utmost importance. She carries with her a lifetime of unthinkable abuse of every kind, and my niece, Barb's daughter, hanged herself ten years ago. Then, under suspicious circumstances, her son, who was living in Florida suddenly died. Of course, Barb has and will never be the same as she once was but very slowly she had been able to enjoy parts of her life.
You may have guessed it, but the Tea-Cup's name is "Sophie". At first, she wouldn't let me out of her sight. She was with me continually, throughout the day and night. She adored Barbara as well, and slowly I watched as she became aware of Barb's feelings and needs. Now she's sits next to Barb all the time unless we go out for our long daily walks, or she is playing with Chloe and their toys.
OMG...I've written too much, rambling on and on.
Tell you what!! I'll write again, soon, and share other things with you...like what your Jade plant means to me, and the gift you gave me by sharing your success story and the gorgeous photo.
In the meantime, I'm reading a lot to learn how I may be able to offer some tips, as you asked, for fighting the fatigue you endure.
sophie4 , I was just about to sign off and turn in for the night when I saw your reply pop up. I am so glad I stuck around!
Your story had me gasping at times, clutching my chest, getting tearful... The horrors that Chloe went through, the pain that Barb must have felt from those terrible losses, the suffering you endure with your illnesses... It all breaks my heart 💔
But then I realized that your story has fit this post perfectly. We are discussing successes, small or large. Personal victories that make us feel proud and accomplished. Through the heartbreaking tales that you have shared, there are clear successes.
Chloe's outcome was a success (I'll just add here that my oldest cat is named Chloe 😊 It is a great name, fit for the most amazing of animals). Your Chloe's story had an awful, cruel beginning. But eventually, it resolved into a happy ending. You are incredible for being so kind to her, even when she wasn't acting her best. She is so lucky to have such a patient, compassionate soul as her mom. After so many people failed her, you succeeded: You gave her a loving home and encouraged her to trust again. And Chloe became the fur baby she was destined to be- the most loving and loyal of companions.
You're absolutely right, Barb will never be the same. But as you say, "slowly she has been able to enjoy parts of her life." She can persevere because of you, because of Sophie, and because of everyone who still loves her dearly. Being able to carry on at all, after enduring such heartache, is a success.
And you- lovely, wonderful, FANTASTICAL Sophie- you are a bonafide success. You persist despite your illnesses. You share your love and unwavering kindness with both people and animals, and in doing so, you make all of our lives better.
Thank you for sharing and beautifully illustrating the victories we can achieve, even in the face of hardship. I appreciate you so very much ❤️❤️❤️
Oh CJ!!!How kind of you to write such a thoughtful reply to me. I hadn't thought of any of the situations you noted as successes, simply things (for want of a better word) that happen(ed). Whoops...now you've got me thinking!!! I'm a cancer survivor!! Hooray!!! Hooray for the surgeon, the doctors...not me. No...it was partially successful on my part...I stuck with every treatment, right?
I don't remember writing about having any illnesses. How do you know?
Well I was mainly talking about mental illnesses (depression and anxiety), but I have to say that I am completely unsurprised that you are a cancer survivor! You are so strong and YES you deserve a lot of the credit!!! 💪 I am so proud of you and happy that you are still powering through 💗
Dearest Sophie, please don't stress yourself out about replying to every post. Anytime I get to hear from you on any post is a treat 😊 And I am also challenged when it comes to technology, so I'm right there with you!
"Succeed". It's a good word to have in mind as we plough through the day and small decisions to activate our routines can have a very positive and sustaining effect. A positive thought is like planting seed. Something much bigger will come of it. 5 years ago I decided to become a volunteer at University College London Hospital. My role is. "Ward Musician". I play keyboard on an elderly and dementia ward, usually at bed side. And I have a back-up plan. That's using Spotify and a Bluetooth speaker to play patients requests. In the first lockdown I stopped my visits but I decided in September to return. Following a governance meeting it was decided that the keyboard was a risk too many (people touching etc) so now I just chat and use the Bluetooth speaker to play requests. It's amazing, the kind of conversations I have, and so worthwhile, so rewarding.
Well guess what, last week at the hospital annual awards ceremony I was announced "Volunteer of the Year"! Such an honour. I am very proud. But that in itself is not MY success. The success is each and every magical connection that we as people give and share with each other. Reaching out IS succeeding. And the lady who made that difficult telephone, yes she reached out and made a connection.
You wrote a lovely piece and inspired me to reply.
This melted my heart and brought tears to my eyes 💗 You are so kind to volunteer your time for the benefit of others. Congratulations to you on your well-deserved award!
Thanks CJ. I want to a more active member of this BHF community and am resolved to find time to post some accounts of my weekly visits to see and chat with patients in hosoital. So many stories are inspiring, touching AND humourous. So watch this space!
Well done CJ it just shows with a little bit of tender love and caring it can be achieved , mine was growing a Rose 🌹 bush that took its time to blossom but each year after cutting back gets lovely .x
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Absolutely right- Love and care can accomplish so much ❤️ I bet your rose bush is beautiful 🌹
Hi, Well I would say the lovely plant is one great example of an accomplishment on your part and its no wonder you are delighted. The thinking behind it is the fact that previously you had not succeeded in growing a plant - something you really wanted to do. Through failure came determination and eventual success. Perhaps the motto should be... 'never give up on trying. Such an attitude could be used in many things in life.Your symbol of success will lift your spirits and confidence each day.
Thats a lovely healthy plant Jasmin well done you xxx
I chose easy plants, primulas that need very little care, and others, but thats one of the first I planted many years ago. Some still in the garden, they're survivors. A fuchsia plant as well. I took a cutting from another one and its thrived, another strong survivor, no matter how low we cut it down it bounces back again. Its full of flowers now....
yes despite the bad weather I enjoyed it.Theres a pony at the farm the image of my late horse called Goldie 9which ironically is the name of my late Aunty's horse (both of whom are now dead-years ago
The place I go to I am surrounded in nostalgia because when my horse was alive I used to buy his feed from there & I used to ride on the lanes round there so I know them like the back of my hand
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