Quotation for Monday 13th April 2020 - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Quotation for Monday 13th April 2020

Callendersgal profile image

Good morning everyone,

Yesterday I was thinking about all the people who must have spent Easter entirely on their own and I wondered how they were faring. It can't have been easy, no matter how hard anyone tries to stay cheerful and keep occupied. So a few words on loneliness this morning, and a shout out to anyone who is feeling lonely. Your bravery in this crisis situation is amazing.

This is from Donald "Don" Miller. He is an American author, public speaker, and business owner and CEO of StoryBrand, a marketing company. He's also an author of personal essays and reflections about faith, God, and self-discovery. (Wikipedia)

"The words 'alone', 'lonely' and 'loneliness' are three of the most powerful words in the English language... Those words say that we are human; they are like the words hunger and thirst. But they are not words about the body, they are words about the soul.”

Try to have a happy day everyone, and please stay safe.

Image courtesy of Toa Heftiba Unsplash.com

22 Replies
bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

The quote has reminded me of, you know a book you read or a film you see, a true story of someone who has survived against all odds, they might have been without food or water, alone but they survive because their soul is strong. 🌸🌸

in reply to bobbybobb

Yes , I was feeling a bit down yesterday and feeling sorry for myself because I couldn’t do the things I wanted to, then a programme came on tv about the Holocaust survivors which really got to me , how could I feel sorry for myself when I had food to eat, a loving partner, a lovely home and garden with wonderful bird song, when these people had been through true hell on earth ,

so I can’t go out for a meal or to the cinema at the moment, but hopefully soon when we get back to ‘normal’ I will, and I think we will all really appreciate what we have missed and we’ll all be better more thoughtful caring people for it, take care

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to

Yes, to be alone or not have the things we want is not the worst thing. To destroy a soul where there is no hope, that is far worse. In this current situation, everybody is full of hope that a vaccine will be found and it will. We will all be safe once more.xxx

in reply to

Everyone has times they feel sorry for themselves no matter what their circumstances are.

in reply to

Very True, but it’s how you shake yourself out of it that counts I find that being thankful for all the good things in my life helps and realising there are so many people far worse off .

As the saying goes, it’s not what happens to you that matters , It’s the way that you deal with it.

in reply to

That's what I have found out myself no matter how dire my circumstances have been there are always lots worse off.

Hi Jerry, I feel blessed to enjoy solitude too and I think you are right that it's sometimes about the quality of your relationship versus being alone. It's also true, (definitely for me anyway), that you can feel lonely amid a group of people too.

Thanks for the quote. I wouldn't call myself 'brave' as you say, I feel there is a purpose to my being isolated alone which helps for me, for the greater good. It is important to try and find ways to improve contact with others, ie social media, phone, waving and thanking delivery people/bin men etc through the window. I hold up a big thank you sign, enjoy seeing people pass on their walk etc, shouting to neighbours especially during the clapping on thursdays, painted a rainbow for the window for people to look at, and knowing others are in the same boat (at a distance!!) also helps. Have a happy day too and stay safe x

Good morning Callendergal,

Thanks for hosting.

I am one of the millions who are alone at Easter and during this emergency.

But thanks to the words of wisdom and inspiration I found on this forum it went better than expected TG.😊

The advice on here and in general is that even in isolation one should have a plan/ routine. I did that yesterday as I was expecting a difficult day. I rigidly adhered to the plan. (Pure trivia, e.g. cooks clean,walk,eat, pray, e-mail,text, call,repeat!!)

Perhaps reminding myself (I had to write it down to reinforce it) that this too shall pass helped. We are all in this together.

Have a nice day,

Thanks Climb007. It's so good to hear some positive feedback about the Positive Wellbeing community being of help, especially when it comes from someone who has had a bit of a struggle but is determined to overcome the difficulties. I hope you too had a nice day, and thanks for your lovely feedback.

I live alone and work from home as well (when there is work!). I am no stranger to loneliness regardless of the coronavirus, and when it occurs, I am especially kind to myself until it passes. Because it does pass, and honestly, it doesn't occur all that often. I like my own company, which is why I went out quite rarely compared to a lot of other people, prior to this Brave New World we're all living in these days.

It may sound odd, but because other people are now more available for me to reach out to if I want to, and because I have been checking in on them (bear in mind that I am better equipped than they are to be alone so much, since it is my normal state!), I find that - bizarrely - I am probably better connected than I have been in years!

Yes, it would be a lie to say that there haven't been moments of acute loneliness. But they are not more frequent than they were before we were all obliged to be staying indoors, not for me, at least. I was blessed with a mother who told me (when, as a child, I complained of being bored) "Well, you'd better find yourself something to do then!" That kind of start, combined with 5 years of loneliness despite company and the torture of the utter lack of privacy at boarding school, has probably trained me to find projects to get stuck into and solitary pursuits of all sorts.

I have come up with 8 themes, one for each hour in a notional "working day". I start every day with a Health hour - a gratitude diary, followed by exercise, meditation and finally affirmations. After that, I could spend an hour doing cleaning, or decluttering, or cooking, or admin. I could spend time being social, or reading, or studying. There are so many options, that I feel I have a lot of choice open to me, but the day can be structured quite tightly if I want. So if there is no work at all to be doing, I can still pass a working day in useful occupations which take me closer to my goals in life.

Entertainment isn't an issue. There are also way more freebies being offered to us online by the arts organisations than I could possibly ever take up: operas, ballets, musicals, plays, art exhibitions, museum tours and even a zoo! The internet is a fantastic tool for us at this time when things are more challenging than usual. All you need is a mobile phone to sign up to Facebook or Whatsapp, to stay in touch with your people.

The thing is not to be passive about it. If you sit there waiting for someone else to entertain you, you'll be waiting a long time and it will make you depressed and ill - trust me, I have been there and you don't want to go there if you can avoid it! Be active and make choices to find yourself something to watch or read or listen to. None of this has to cost a lot of money, if indeed anything.

No - other people may be lonely all the time, I don't know because I've not been here (on HU) that long. But I can say that it is possible to get through this coronavirus without feeling more than usually lonely. I don't think that will change, but I'll probably reach out to the Samaritans if it hits me on a prolonged basis. Loneliness is just another feeling, like joy or anger or fear or sorrow or contentment. I am doing fine, but it's lovely that you thought to ask, Callendersgal. I appreciate that. :-)

in reply to

I wrote to the samaritan's last year after I lost my job and found them extremely helpful.

I thanked them for not having given me silly and unhelpful advice and they told me they aren't there to give advice and they let their callers decide what it is that they want to do going forwards.

Callendersgal profile image
Callendersgal in reply to

I once rang the Samaritans, stuck in a phone box without my shoes at midnight on a wet and muddy night, because I was desperate to get a local taxi number (long story). They were marvellous! Gave me the number I needed, asked for the background story, and talked through what had gone on before they would even think of letting me hang up. Marvellous, marvellous organisation. As you say, they just listen supportively, and let you draw your conclusions

Callendersgal profile image
Callendersgal in reply to

Really sound advice from someone who understands and embraces both solitude and loneliness. Thank you Bella_Figura

What beautiful heart felt words Callendersgal , so lovely. I have a friend who's on her own but fortunately she has her daughter's dog staying with her so is taking that one out for walks, I think that's helping a lot. My eldest daughter is on her own but fortunately she's a key worker and is extremely busy so that's keeping her occupied I'm pleased to say.

Stay strong and well.

Alicia :)

Callendersgal profile image
Callendersgal in reply to

Thanks Alicia, I hope you were able to have a good day.

in reply to Callendersgal

A bit up and down with my IBS but I'll get there, it's not going to beat me!

Callendersgal profile image
Callendersgal in reply to

So sorry to hear. I hope it'll settle soon. Love your brave spirit! 🙏

in reply to Callendersgal

Thank you. It'll be easier when I can buy the right food😊

I spent all of Easter on my own -it didnt bother me because I've been living alone for a long time now -so its just like any other day really

Its really a blessing to be able to be peaceable with yourself. I'm blessed that way too, or should probably say I've worked on being that way, but I really do feel for people who struggle with it. And so many people have been plunged into this. And so suddenly too! Just goes to show how life can change direction in a second. But happy that you were content.

Being an introvert has its benefits sometimes.

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