My partner of seven years asked me to marry him yesterday - he said he was so upset when he saw me ill and rushed off in ambulance - again - he realised how sad he would be if I died! Oh dear. A lot of thinking to do now. Happy christmas everyone.
To marry or not?: My partner of seven... - Positive Wellbein...
Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation
9,738 posts •
To marry or not?
Written by
wiserlady
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
33 Replies
•
If you really love him and want him to be your one constant in life then yes. We've all been hit by this awful year and how romantic to finish it by a proposal and getting married.
Very best of luck.😊🌈💍🔔
Alicia
When my late wife and I moved in together, she asked me:"Why do you not introduce me to people as your wife?
I replied:
"All you have to do is sign a form."
¿Was that the most romantic proposal ever?
maybe not romantic but apt
In the real world... it is not just about romance or propagation...There are practicalities and financial implications... e.g. my pension is boosted because we married.
this is so true - we think along the same lines you and me - and anyway I am 63 and disabled so there would be no propogation. when people say oh b ut I love him and he loves me those are usually the ones that are badly matched, where it is a five minute wonder or just sex or just hating to be single, where it all goes wrong later.
The young tend not to understand the meaning of the word "love".(I define "love" as a benevolent attitude.)
think you have love as in he is perfect and I put him on a pedestal, even when he is nasty to me, hits me and lies to me, love of not being single anymore, or cupboard love
"Love" is, to some extent, appreciating someone even if they have imperfections and shortcomings.In reality, for some people, it is putting up with someone "for the benefit of the kids" or to keep a roof over their heads.
yes i know, and I find that quite pathetic, especially when a relationship is new and not working and they can see it is not working yet instead of using sense they have a baby and make it more complicated and difficult - or they have very little money but have a baby and then want lots of sympathy because they struggle with money, most of their problems are self inflicted - not using sense when making decisions or just allowing things to happen without any control - it is really easy to make sure you do not get pregnant nowadays and has been for a long time - babies pretending to be adults - as for women who stay with a man to have a home and income, maybe they should be more honest and less lazy and get a job and stand on their own two feet. feel sorry for the poor husband then who is being milked of money and lied to.
I’m sure you know the answer in your heart. Dix
Aww, how fantastic wiserlady, there's no doubting how he feels about you then is there? We await your decision with bated breath (seven years 🤔, well that has to count for a lot surely). I really hope you make the right decision. xx
yes in this case this is true, but ive had my share of gold diggers wanting to marry me over the years - it does not always follow it's love
Ah, I see. In that case be very cautious and certain - like I need to tell you that anyway! 😂😂 Also, there is always a prenup - that may be a sure way of finding out if it's love or not! xx
not that simple - pre nups in england do not count - and it doesnt change how it goes in meantime and how complicated it can all get - in england a pre nup takes a lot of time and expense to draw up and then later on it can be disputed and over ruled.
I just found this, maybe it would help. xx
Prenuptial agreements are now legally enforceable in the UK, your aim should be to make an agreement that lays out how you and your partner would divide things fairly. To do this you should make sure: The prenup is drawn up a qualified solicitor so that it is compliant with UK law .22 Sept 2020
money.co.uk/guides/are-pren...
i ve seen all that before, know it inside and out - its not that simple
Ah, OK. 🤐 xx
believe me i dont need advice, i appreciate it but dont need it, ive got a wise head on my shoulders and find out all of the facts straight away.
Good for you. xx
no need to worry about me - its kind of you, but i can take care of myself, have had to all of my life - how are you?
I'm not too bad thanks. Thinking of Christmas and New Year and all those poor people who won't have anyone at all over that period and of course, wondering what next year will bring and feeling quite apprehensive about that. xx
christmas alone can be horrible, but it can be worse to be with family - i remember awful christmases with family years ago, the ones on my own were more pleasant
So true, wiserlady! Like you and many others, I experienced many wretched holidays with family and have found true happiness and contentment in celebrating alone when that is the only/best option.
Years ago as tears streamed down my face watching my little girl board yet another plane to spend a holiday with her dad, I came to the decision that I could either throw a huge self-pity party for being alone on a big holiday or...I could fill that holiday with small pleasures and indulgences not available when with my child or others.
From that decision forward, I've become proficient at celebrating "alone holidays" by starting with appreciation for my many gratitudes, planning ahead for special meals and treats, etc. A lot of life is what we make it, yes?
That's lovely: such a positive end to a bonkers year, only you can make the decision that's right for you. As the others said- we'll be waiting with baited breath😊🐰
hi Jerry, yes of course I love him, or would not have been with him for seven years already and would never have agreed to live with him otherwise and am sure we will spend the rest of our lives together anyway - getting married would not change it or make it more likely ! lol. There is more to marriage than love though.
i can think of lots of reasons why not, we are all different - i make a list of pros and cons before i do something - if there are more cons than pros i dont do it - anyway we live together so it wouldnt really change anything
Wiserlady, I have every confidence that you will make the best decision for you and like you, I also use the "pro/con" list" as a tool in helping me with large decisions.
I wrote a Cautionary Tale For Those Lovingly and Successfully Co-habitating Together Who Think They’ve Protected Themselves, Each Other and Their Beneficiaries...
as a response to you but decided it might receive a broader audience if I posted it as a new conversation.
lol. we all have different options and different things that could bother us or upset us later - when I was very young I was penniless but very hard working, I married a guy who turned out to be dim, lazy and expecting to spend all of my money and putting nothing into the kitty himself, in fact he was going to get me into enormous debt if I did not get rid of him. so there is more to life than "love". This guy I USED to be married to - who I divorced asap - is now living in a small tatty caravan on benefits.I would have been taken down to his level if I had not got rid. Or I would have been working my socks off to bring him up to my own level, I was far better off single. Ive had plenty of chances to marry guys since, none of them worth dating letting alone living with or marrying. so that piece of paper is not the be all and end all.
My proposal was even more basic than yours MD, it was "if we get married I can claim the married man's tax allowance" 😂xx
I knew you meant that
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
Need Advice! My daughter who has been married a year is thinking of divorce!
Hello Everyone,
My daughter and her husband dated since age 14 and got married last year at age 24.
A painting by Mr zoonie
He's asked me to share this with you, he's painted it following a tutorial on YouTube. Isn't it...
Relationships will change
My partner and I have been seeing each other - an item - for six years. We saw a lot of each other...
It is Father’s Day tomorrow and I will be thinking of mine sadly gone but always missed
always remember him as a Peter Rabbit , always getting into mischief
I would call him the ASBO Dad...
No social distancing in my house
Skye says another glorious day of cat life
Well they all like fish!! ( and some cringe jokes 😊)
When Did Something Unexpectedly GOOD Happen?