i dont know about you,but i am finding the most mundane tasks daunting,which is totally alien to me,as i have always had the 'get up and go' about me,but its all becoming a case of i dont care anymore.
i have always been obsessively houseproud,but not any more,its like this pandemic has knocked all the stuffing out of me.
I started to decorate my kitchen,but that has come to a grinding halt,it still is mightily grinding and the halt sign is in place,and every week i am determined to get going on this,but due to other demands it falls by the wayside,slovenly is being too kind.
In truth i have never lived in such a mess in my life,and i am so inept at everything now that i feel ashamed,actually no i dont,that boat sailed a long time ago,i cant even seem able to set the heating on,hence the frazzling,its like my brain is numb.
I have holes in 3 ceilings which normally i would have fixed by now,but i have been overwhelmed with so many jobs to address,but please bear in mind my predicament,I have a huge country house containing 6 flats i let out,and i have all the main reception rooms as my own accommodation,I love it,but now living alone it has become an Albatross.
These Victorian mansions are indeed beautiful,but the upkeep does keep one poor.
I digress,at the end of this pandemic we will emerge much stronger and put in place all that really matters.
PS/ I should say that i am a gay guy,and had the most caring and remarkable partner anyone could wish for,he brought me out of a hell i cannot talk about.
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secrets22
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Oh I am so on the same page as you are secrets22.
It's not being despondent, or depressed, it just really doesn't seem to matter right now. Our lives revolve around covid19; both its dangers and its restrictions on our lives. Any strategy that works is good by me, but mine's to switch off to most things and to just abide in the present moment, doing what I seem to be doing best right now, and that's very little.
I don't want to be jolted into what feels like fruitless activity to distract my brain. I want to just 'be'. In one way it's almost a holiday from life. A not very welcome one, but one that seems to require less effort being made than usual.
And please remember that you have the additional emotion of having been recently bereaved. I know how much your partner meant to you. That alone makes life feel fruitless and pointless and can go on for some time.
So my prescription is to be kind to yourself except when needs really must. And I guess the bottom line is to be sure your tenants aren't suffering as a result of your ennui. Get someone else to fix the holes if it's urgent! 🙏
It's not the end of the world if your house is a mess of you can't do the things you feel you should do!
I feel for me the pandemic has put things in perspective of what's important in life and what isn't and with me having a tidy house at present isn't important!
You are certainly not alone! I make plans to get something done but when it comes down to it I don’t do it. I’ve decided so what! I do what I can and that’s it. For me that’s a huge improvement! I take time to do more I enjoy.
You're not alone secrets, there is plenty that needs doing here too and we will get around to doing it - when we feel like it. The one thing we are not going to do is worry about it, there's more than enough to worry about as it is. x
Hello I'm sorry you are so down and heard you recently bereaved can I just say love never dies and the spirit really does live on sometimes it takes awhile for them to get through to us but you need to be open minded to let this happen and watch for the signed I've lost a lot of loved ones and have had lots of reassurance knowing they are just a thought away. As for your house it's got too much as it's all got on top of you if you can make a list and set a goal of doing one job each day well get someone in if you can afford to it will lessen your load our homes often reflect the state of our minds and visa versa, I can't stand clutter and it makes me feel better when I've done it, take care I am sending loving thoughts to you 🌷🌟
Hello can I just add to my prior message I find having a pet gives so much motivation to 1 get up I made the mistake of going back to bed which made me feel groggy and tired I should have just gone out and 2 if you are able to have a dog that will make you get out and meet people at a distance of course other dog walkers are so nice caring for someone is so rewarding and keeps us going I could never be alone without a pet sobreason 3 they give us a reason to go on when life seems impossible. One thing is for sure in life it never stays the same 🐆I have a cat who thinks he's a dog lol i find clean fresh sheets on the bed very comforting and helps me feel snug and safe and sleepy 🌟💛🌟
Hello so true I rescued 2 Ferrell kittens many years ago had them 13 and 15 years they eventually became lap cats they were always weary of other people thou 🌟
I know exactly what you mean, i am the same at the moment. I set myself tasks each day and if i get at least one of those tasks done a day, it is a bonus. Since the pandemic i don't worry as much as i use to about getting things finished, it gets done when it can.
I totally agree with Hidden about getting a pet, they are great company. I have a 3 year old yorkshire terrier and since having him, even if i don't want to get out of bed, i have to, as he needs to be fed etc. Plus they are great company! 🐾🐶
I am so sorry to hear that you are recently bereaved, please take care and i am sending you a big (((((hug)))))
oh i do have 3 wee rescue dogs and they keep me going.
Just want to say that I really feel for you and sincerely hope that things improve soon, I can relate to everything that you say apart from your bereavement which is devastating for you, please take care of yourself xx
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