My mateโs Daschund swallowed a huge rubber ball and has run away. The vet says his dog might be poorly for a while but will soon bounce back.
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.John Lennon International Airport has gone into a full lockdown and all passengers and staff are in quarantine. Imagine ... all the people
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A guy bought a Volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay. Swede car online.
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.just saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbitโs feet. I thought: โWell heโs pushing his luck.โ
.Breaking news
Nelly the elephant has just tested positive for covid. When asked where she got it from, she replied; "Trump, Trump, Trump" !
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.Fun fact: Australiaโs biggest export is boomerangs. Itโs also their biggest import.
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My wife tells me I have two major faults, I donโt listen - and something else.
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Just had a text from my mate. It said: โMy girlfriend just couldnโt accept my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart.โ
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My mateโs wife knows absolutely nothing about football. He asked her if she rated George Best and she said she preferred Zippy and Bungle..
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My mate always used to say: โNever be too quick to find faults.โ Lovely bloke, terrible geologist.
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A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts. I canโt believe itโs not better.
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Give a man a shirt, and heโll wear it once. Tell a man he looks good in it, and heโll wear it for a lifetime.