I was on the beach and got hit by a massive wave of cake. It was a tiramisunami.
Why is it a good idea to put more books in prison libraries? Because the prose outweigh the cons.
I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.
.
.Our local vicar hasn’t been seen today so I have phoned Missing Parsons.
I couldn’t find any Oxo cubes in my local shop today - they must be out of stock.
I ordered a thesaurus from a well known on-line seller, but when it was delivered all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
.
.
.My mate’s wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of the stuff. He said it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
.
I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man cooking sliced potatoes in hot oil. I asked him: “Are you the friar?” He replied “No, I’m the chip monk.
.
.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and says: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
.
.
.I said to this train driver: "I want to go to Paris." He said: "Eurostar?" I said: "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin."
Elderly woman phoned Stannah and asked them to come and remove her stair lift, she said 'its driving me up the wall'.
.
.
I just saw a bloke cycling down the road with his hands tied behind his back. I don't know who he was but his face rang a bell.
.
.Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the skin on his feet became quite thick and hard.
He also was quite a spiritual person. Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and as a result became quite thin and frail. Due to this diet, he wound up cursed with very bad breath. Therefore, he came to be known as a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
.
.
. "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
Written by
Bazzak
Reading Rabbits
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
Woke up to Storm Aiden keeping the house dull and dismal. Read your post and suddenly my day has been brightened !😉😂🤣 Thanks so much for the laughs! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Changing my duvet cover is not too difficult, but turning the mattress is more difficult - it is 7' square, so, most months I turn it 90 degrees, but turning it over is more difficult!
Ohohoh, Hahaha. I loved the one with the ghostly Duvet, it reminds me of my Hubby when he's changing the bed. I've never known anyone get in such a mess as he do,just by changing a Duvet. Loved the ones about the Oxo Cubes, the 3 legged dog in the saloon, the missing Vicar, OMG, where do you get them from Clever Clogs. 😂😅💕xx
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.