Don't know about you lot, but these ... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

9,738 posts

Don't know about you lot, but these are ......

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits
45 Replies

I went to a doctor complaining of hearing problemsThe doctor said “okay describe the symptoms” so I replied “no problem mate Homer’s ͏͏͏fat and Marge has blue hair”

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair.

He sooke softly to her, "Darling, can you hear me?" There was no response.

He moved a little closer and said again, "Darling, can you hear me?" Still, there was no response.

Finally he moved right behind her and said, "Darling, can you hear me?"

She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"

Written by
Bazzak profile image
Bazzak
Reading Rabbits
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .

The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.

45 Replies
Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits

😁xx

Activity2004 profile image
Activity2004

Very cute and furry! Hard to choose my favorite picture. Made me smile! Thanks, Bazzak ! :-)

springcross profile image
springcross

They're all hung over after a night on the tiles! 😂😂

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to springcross

Oh, no! 😁🌸

Yes, they do look hung over!! You've made me laugh 😂 thank you

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to

Yep, dont think they should have accompanied me to the pub, right pussies, couldn't hold their drink, and it was only milk stout!! 🙂x

in reply to Bazzak

🤣

Hope you've had a good day with your family. 👍

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

I think you too many of your tablets this morning Bazzak my old chum 😌🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite, I'm perfect!

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

💕x

in reply to Bazzak

👍😂

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

So cute 😸

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT

Dear Bazzak,

I have 'stolen' (Copied) that image, for a 'cat crazy friend'...... she will LOVE it.

An old couple are sitting, in their Conservatory, one afternoon when the lady, says to her Husband, "We have some Strawberries, in the fridge, would you be a 'dear' and fetch me some..... Please". Her, ever Loving Hubby, replies and says "Of Course I will, my Love" before offering her a kiss- on the cheek.

So 'off goes', her Husband, into the Kitchen.......

After about HALF an our, in which time, Banging, Crashing, Thumping and Walloping are heard, her Husband returns..... with a plate of Bacon & Eggs.....

Seeing the Bacon & Eggs, the Wife appears annoyed, and looks 'Hubby' up and down, before commenting "Bl--dy H-ll, you silly Old Fool..... you Forgot My Toast!"

Any 'more' anyone?

AndrewT

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to AndrewT

Very good😁👍x

AndrewT profile image
AndrewT in reply to Bazzak

My Friend DID, absolutely LOVE, those cats😀., thank you.

AndrewT

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to AndrewT

You are very welcome 🙂

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22

And I was so sure that was actually Bazzak in his onesie....😀🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

Do you know what Marnie, I was going to make a comment on that photo about you.But then I thought, no she doesn't deserve that, she's such a lovely lady, and then you go and hit me between the eyes. Never trust a woman, especially when it comes to sarcasm!.

Still love you though xx

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

Of course you were. Actually, you have given me a thought for a new post. Watch out for it ......🤔🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

Waiting 😁😫x

in reply to Marnie22

🤣😂well said 👍💜♥️

Symptoms, brilliant😂

MrRigatoni profile image
MrRigatoni

Love that need to smile laugh times reminds me of the awful assessments.

Government in UK decided whether am disabled or not gettting on for to wards pension age 57 soon.

If I qualify to live on benefits.

Reminds me went to an assessement take off all your clothes go on all fours in the corner of the room.

Is this part of the assessement no the Doctor answered getting a coffee table fitted in the corner where you are.

Wondering how it would look lol...

Used to have injections a lot, for pain and other things.

New nurse arrived with nervous hands shaking in a words trembling you just going to feel a small prick.

I replied back I usually say that to any girl after we have dated and want to make love. lol...

I was asked by my sleep councillour how do you sleep.

In the arms of angels who play with my hair .

Dreaming eating a large cream bun. When woke up my pillow had gone.

Said to him had these dreams beautiful women they rush to wards me I keep pushing them away.

Please can you break my arms.

I was in a hospital with insommnia and the Nurse gave me something to make me sleep.

Announced afterward going to have to wake you in the morning , asked why need you to take another one to make you sleep lol...

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits in reply to MrRigatoni

You have to have a bit of fun even when life is serious or doubtful - Laugh and the world laughs with you - cry and you cry alone .

MrRigatoni profile image
MrRigatoni in reply to focused1

Hello pleased to meet you.

Was in a mental health charity used these more and more jokes stories to ice break make people more relaxed.

It is not easy ever been home all the time now facing others like you anxiety sets in.

So used all of these old jokes impressions, one liners always done this.

Some my team manager at the time hated this always critical and opiniated.

Just had enough. Laughter best medicine. Not rude or lewd daft silly jokes.

Anything said breaking rules support had told me to be quiet and did not want to tell me but.

Comes a time so left to do Summer Volunteering in a resource centre same sorts of people.

Most welcome and made a difference.

Finally got a phone call support worker no one turning up because your not here.

Seething Mrs Angry team manager comes on and pleads no apology no one turning up.

Simply done nothing wrong.

It all helps does it not.

Came back and was good.

A good thing to help heal inspire others.

More stories jokes watch this space. Get used to your chuckle muscles working. lol...

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits in reply to MrRigatoni

I do think that people with mental health issues need different approaches and if your method worked in what is a difficult job then I feel the positive client feedback was well worth it . Who wants an opener of 'How are you today' ....well hmm IF I was 100% I wouldn't be a client .

MrRigatoni profile image
MrRigatoni in reply to focused1

Hello thank you for reply. Much appreciated.

I feel if a person needs to discuss how they are fine, many men can not.

Had a friend sat all support meetings quiet once in the car would talk.

Felt need to with me present had his support but could not talk to her.

Some can not even though there to help.

I had this last time young girl. Felt like nothing in common more time playing with her hair.

Disinterested and was a child in a woman body.

Had severe problems denied and not listening for a year. Talking to a child young enough to be my grand daughter if had one.

Had recently lady more my age feisty now and again kick in the lemons lol..

I needed those stilettoes hurt lol.. Or a kick up the bum in the right direction.

Had a query from one of the ladies met in the charity.

How are you getting on, well I listened after half hour we agreed she was right in the first place. lol..

We all need that.

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits in reply to MrRigatoni

Your stories are common and in some ways we tend to be going backwards in mental health care . My sisters partner recalls being an 'inmate' in hospital . Frightened throughout as some patients had alcohol and drug related issues and could be violent. He was constantly guarding everything he had as he reported anything from a comb to chocolate visitors had brought to be missing but was never taken seriously . The allocated CPN didn't know about his discharge so he sat alone for 4 days eating only canned food . She visited, chatted and went. He still had no food or the energy /confidence to shop. I could go on but 2 weeks later he was back in the main hospital with dehydration and a severe water infection .Here he was better treated with a discharge plan , social worker etc . Maybe silence should be picked up upon and practical plans should be discussed before discharge . Someone to go shopping with you , just that half hour chatting whilst prepping food , sorting out finances etc would be cheaper than bouncing people in and out of hospital with no practical support or contact. Families also suffer as my Mum was long term mentally ill . We were very quiet, cautious kids with few friends and a very unconventional childhood.

MrRigatoni profile image
MrRigatoni in reply to focused1

Thank you for sharing sorry to hear what happened. Your sisters partner wish had been around to be supportive.

I need to just add hear this your sisters partners story a lot.

Used to be part of a major charity who has a forum. Used to see members like your sisters partner come on.

As having past background in mental health and addiction, am reformed alcoholic had drug issues.

Unfortunately what is happening in this country is deplorable, disgusting left to those like my self.

Take some responsibilty be a friend done everything for those in this situation.

Either on line come off addiction waiting early hours morning for members suffering because systems in melt down rehabs CPN''s and mental health teams worse ones local councils.

Seen everything in my community befriended local elderly gents have had learning issues disabilty.

Dumped by councils living on nothing walked over carers stealing abusive used clientel home as their own.

Washing machine a common usage or taking tins or fridge items.

I cam along changed all that , used to get calls early morning never arrived to make a breakfast.

Elderly gents with dementia and mental health turned to me all blew up when I arrived.

No way happened again blamed the carer the work load what near to lunch making him breakfast.

Just given him a bath am here with disabilty doing your job.

Set up meeting in my home the gents went to Argos bought microwave, toaster kettle showed them easy meals .

Porridge scrambled eggs. Toast so on.

Wrote it down then found out abusive staff supposed to care used to mislead those paying rent.

Shocking one stepped in as they paid cash lady came around found over the rent payments , won a decision to have her removed.

Council denied everything appointed lawyer legal team I use.

Use Halifax to set up direct debits , Halifax have a member of staff in all branches for those of our communities.

Use them, Police involved much mate crime myself.

Every where been had to do this.

CPN even my self took 9 months to visit after coming out of rehab 6 months seeing specialist.

Had enough so used Mental Health charities often mention these.

Best ever if your sisters partner hav problems contact these, your sisters partner entitled to best care.

I actually have once twice used council services.

Told me 12 week contract most charities main ones three years average may be reviewed.

Then reduced to six and then removed from the case load as the staff member had too many clientele.

Unfortunately made the call to my mobile while sitting in front senior Manager of a mental health charity volunteering for.

Nothing like hearing some one telling some other staff member to do their job or else.

This the issues their are council service ghave University graduates green fresh naive and also clueless.

If it says not done that on the course that your not ill.

Had one support worker what is disruptive behaviour ask me the clientele service user ???

Just going on a course what is that .OMG???

Another if I drink too much does that make me an alcoholic and so one has to be thinking why bother.

Had loads of those daft silly questions by children in a woman's body.

Degrees Masters still makes them slightly annoying if they can answer or find out them selves.

Utter madness and please do get me started on the way they turn up dressed like that.

My neighbour though had the services of a sex worker prostitute. Arrived short skirt sweater low v neck bare legs kinky sort of boots. Long hair all over the place.

Me thought is that necessary as she sat their showing off her figure my mind wandering reminds me of my evening meal tonight.

Chicken Thigh and dumplings lol...

Went these three if they help.

richmondfellowship.org.uk

mind.org.uk

rethink.org

Ask your sisters partner take a look worth it.

CPN once had my Doctor arguing with one because she failed to do her job properly you not alone with this.

Added he needs support now not six months ill with addiction if he dies then you responsible calling the Police.

Got messed about so ofen so here am I mental illness advice support those giving information and be a friend in reality no one else is.

Except the mental health charities only good thing may have to wait may have to hang on but please if your sisters partner needs help.

Contact those links immediately all different they offer care plans aims goals and other support with you in mind and will discuss agree anything you wish for.

Also have a complaints procedure if there is a problem. First charity mentioned called RF for short.

All systems staff methods procedures are discussed with members who have enrolled.

Chance to have a say discuss options things they could do always good to be part of.

Helps a lot.

Please if I can be of any help please ask me.

I write a lot sorry but spent a lot of my time being supportive and those struggling.

Whether on community forums like this or outside in society or communities.

Know lots of stigma know the systems the legalities you get taught this in charities mentioned.

Amonst other things to help you cope.

You take care thank you for reading supporting my post anything I write.

I forget any questions or support any time your sisters partner needs ask me have lots of signposting or yourself anything.

Can help with, have by the way resigned from one mentioned forum.

Got lied against for no reason so they suspended me which in turn I resigned.

My friends on the forum tell me lots need help my just kind of support and Managers refuse to apologise ask me back.

So thought help any one here.

Thank you once again.

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits in reply to MrRigatoni

Your stories tell a common tale . My sister actually met her partner whilst they were both in psychiatric care . They live apart except at weekends when he stays with her . His son is now his live in carer .They are sad co dependants but the mutual trust makes them quite a strong pair . Break a leg and you are given crutches , empathy and progressive treatment but mental illness is unpredictable , scary and misunderstood . We need more people like you so please take a minute to reflect on the positives like I do .

Sheila_G profile image
Sheila_G

Absolutely brilliant. I love the cat photos too. So laid back and couldn't care less. The absolute opposite to myself. x

wiganfan profile image
wiganfan

Hi, reminds me of a true story. My uncle lost hearing in one ear. His GP checked him out and told him it was due to his age .

My uncle asked for a second opinion, the GP said he would refer him but asked why .

My uncle replied “ well it is like this , I cannot hear out of my left ear but I can hear fine out of my right ear and they are exactly the same age !”

He was sensible because the problem turned out to be a tumour. Thankfully they treat him with drugs and although his hearing has never returned the tumour has shrunk.

Stay Safe

Ian

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits

I do feel it is men that have selective hearing . The solution is food or drink . Shall I put the kettle on or are you ready for your lunch ...and hey presto ...instant reply .Get their attention for the less pleasant 'afters'.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to focused1

Spot on, but shsss, not all the ladies know that!.😊

focused1 profile image
focused1Reading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

Oops ..they do now.

All of them hilarious! Pics could be used as a warning by government in its current campaign to try to make us fitter.

MrRigatoni profile image
MrRigatoni in reply to

Hello you always know when the government wants us to be fitter lose weight.

Start closing all the hospitals and medical centres lol...

RoadRunner44 profile image
RoadRunner44

That one deserves a chuckle Bazzak. Love the cat photos.

blackbeauty99 profile image
blackbeauty99

Aw those cat photos are so cute :)

MrRigatoni profile image
MrRigatoni

Favourite Doctor Jokes.

Apologise now some are old chestnuts but still funny.

Man goes to the Doctor feel like a pack of cards.

Deal with you later.

Man says to the Doctor feel like a pair of curtains pull yourself together Doctor quipped.

Elderly married couple arrived at Doctors.

Mentioned to the Doctors tired of sex .

How old are you both.? The husband replied I am 87 and my wife 85 .

Tired of sex when did you find this out?

Doctor asked.

Well twice last night and first thing this morning haaa.

footgo profile image
footgo

Brilliant Barry

We both had a chuckle with the above, l have to wear hearing aids which l really dislike, l know that I have to though. If l do not l become very isolated in my silent world.

Hope that you have had a wonderful weekend with your daughters and grandchildren Barry.

Best wishes to you and your family, have a wonderful week, Tim.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to footgo

Thank you Tim, yes it was great with the grandchildren, but also great to have sone peace when they left🙂. I'm pleased you didn't take offence at the hard of hearing jokes, it was all meant to be light hearted. Hope you and your wife ( name ?) have a lovely week too, I'm sure will will speak again before the weeks out.

All the best Barry

footgo profile image
footgo in reply to Bazzak

Absolutely no offence Barry , l find it very easy to laugh at myself. You have to as the age number increases and everything starts to show its age and fail. Sold by dates, use by dates all past!

My wife’s name is Carmen, a very calming person, most of the time! 🙂

Take care, Tim.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits

I know what you mean, and agree, we have to laugh at ourselves. Anyway, you and Carmen have a lovely week.

Love Barry and Sue ( but I call her Karen and other names as well 😁)

Nap1 profile image
Nap1

That was funny

daveh121 profile image
daveh121

Good!

The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Yes ladies, I may make jokes about my marriage, but I know I'm lucky...

The wife said what's the secret of eternal happiness I said not to argue with fools!! She said,...

hello 👋 some of you wanted to know more about me ❤️

hello so some of you wanted to know more about me so here it is 😊 my name is hiba and I am 17...

I don't know what is going on

told my doctors several times but they just ignore me. I don't know what to do next and you can't...

Marnie, MadBunny and Narwhal, your reputation goes before you !!!😊😊

. Saw my doctor today. She said my sugar l was too high.... so I came home and moved it to a...

I don't even know what day it is.