Mistakes happen 😊

[Bazzak]

My mate’s Daschund swallowed a huge rubber ball and has run away. The vet says his dog might be poorly for a while but will soon bounce back.

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.John Lennon International Airport has gone into a full lockdown and all passengers and staff are in quarantine. Imagine ... all the people

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A guy bought a Volvo from Neil Diamond on eBay. Swede car online.

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.just saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbit’s feet. I thought: “Well he’s pushing his luck.”

.Breaking news

Nelly the elephant has just tested positive for covid. When asked where she got it from, she replied; "Trump, Trump, Trump" !

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.Fun fact: Australia’s biggest export is boomerangs. It’s also their biggest import.

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My wife tells me I have two major faults, I don’t listen - and something else.

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Just had a text from my mate. It said: “My girlfriend just couldn’t accept my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart.”

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My mate’s wife knows absolutely nothing about football. He asked her if she rated George Best and she said she preferred Zippy and Bungle..

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My mate always used to say: “Never be too quick to find faults.” Lovely bloke, terrible geologist.

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A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts. I can’t believe it’s not better.

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Give a man a shirt, and he’ll wear it once. Tell a man he looks good in it, and he’ll wear it for a lifetime.