Me, after taking the abuse from Marn... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Me, after taking the abuse from Marnie22 and the rest of you ladies yesterday!!!

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits

"I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any."

"A man walked into the doctor's. He said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places.' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more.'"

"Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK, you're ugly as well.'"

"A man walked into the doctor's. The doctor said, 'I haven't seen you in a long time.' The man replied, 'I know. I've been ill.'"

"I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody; it was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be; it's been dead two weeks.' I said, 'Not only that,' I said. I said... I said it twice, I said, 'He's got one leg shorter than the other.' He said, 'What do you wanna do with it, eat it or dance with it?' I said, 'Forget the chicken; give me a lobster. And he brought me this lobster. I said, 'Just a minute, he's only got one claw.' He said, 'Well he's been in a fight.' I said, 'Well give me the winner.'"

36 Replies

Really funny jokes and a cute picture! :-)

You make me smile 😊

The photo is adorable. I could just do with a lovely cat to cuddle.

You better go steady on the jokes, you are going to strain something vital! I will send an ice pack by special delivery.....😅🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

Behave woman! 😘

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

I do! I just behave badly........😌🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

I wouldn't want it any other way !😇x

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

Ha ha! 😁🌸

in reply to Marnie22

👍😂🤣xxxx

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to

Look darling, you have to get your priorities right,!! Tim (footgo) has now beaten you to Activity's quiz. 🙉xx

in reply to Bazzak

Ha ha. Football won tonight!!!

footgo profile image
footgo in reply to

So sorry Oldham65.

Have a wonderful day, best wishes, Tim.

in reply to footgo

Thank you, you too

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits

Yes, I am a good looking boy 😊x🐈

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

And SO modest! 😀🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

Of course, it's not my fault that the lady cats purrsue me wherever I go.🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈xxxx🥰

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

Do you remember the cartoon character Pepe Le Peu? The skunk who was always pursuing some hapless cat who had accidentally got a stripe of white paint down her back? 🙄🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

Yes, Am I setting myself up for for one of your retorts here. ??🤔

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

No, I just got reminded of it when you commented about all the lady cats pursuing you! I used to love that cartoon, it was so ridiculous! 😌🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

Purrrsuing ! me madam, yes I loved it too,and yes stupid but funny. 🤣x

in reply to Bazzak

I don't remember this cartoon, when was it?!?

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to

In the1950's, you were just a twinkle in your dad's eyes. 💕xx

in reply to Bazzak

Yes, I was born September 1965!!

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to

I could have guessed that by your avatar, Oldham65, same as Leo60 and probably Marnie22, she's doing well for 98 !! 🤣🤣🤣🙉

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Bazzak

Hopefully she won't see this !!

in reply to Bazzak

You are in trouble now!!

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to Marnie22

A reminder for you

From Two Scent's Worth (1955):

"Permit me to introduce myself. I am Pepe Le Pew, your lover."

"Zee stripe! It is gone! She is not a skunk at all!"(No Duh, Pepe!).

(After removing his own white stripe): "If you cannot beat them, join them! Wait for baby!"

"Ah! This leetle one wishes to commit suicide to prove her love for me. What a sweet gesture. Never-the-less, I must prevent eet!"

I shoot you with the ack-ack of love...

From the same cartoon: "I always got A's in gym."

(Kissing the hapless female cat-as-skunk): "Ze moon! Ze June! Ze spoon! C'est l'amour!! C'est toujours!"

"Friday? Monday? Right now?"

Yep, it's the second last line of Touche` and Go. After that he says, "The game of love is never called on account of darkness."

Another good one: "All is love in fair and war."

"Au revoir, pidgeon. Sweeting is such part sorrow."

*while swimming with no oxygen tank* "When you are a skunk, you learn how to hold your breath for a long time."

"A colleague of mine once noted, there is very little difference between men and women. But, VIVE LE DIFFERENCE!!"

"Acres and acres of girls!! And they are mine!! All mine!!!"

Sorry Marnie, that was a bit long but I hope it brought back memories 🙂xx

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to Bazzak

That was great! 😁🌸

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits

Nice nose though 👍🤣

Hilarious and I love the picture too 😂

Good morning Barry

Woke up smiling again, thank you! Loved all your jokes as usual.

You could never set this photograph up, it just says it all.

Wishing you and your wife a wonderful day, take care, Tim.

Brilliant!

Thanks for cheering me up Bazzak. Love the pic! 😸

Certainly raised a chuckle from me Bazzak. These Joke Makers are amazing how they think these jokes out.

Bazzak profile image
BazzakReading Rabbits in reply to RoadRunner44

They were all Tommy Cooper jokes, just like that! 🤣x

RoadRunner44 profile image
RoadRunner44 in reply to Bazzak

You just can't resist it can you?

:) LOL :)

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