I am trying to cope with resitting a Diploma in Wills and Probate and finding a years work experience
My Mother will put all her worries on me and expect me to sort out her situation even though I am far away
It is this behaviour which has over taken my ability to focus on my studies and find a years work experience
It is exhausting given the fact we are in the climate of Lock Down as a result of Lock Down
So many are going through their own issues and I write on this site for support and understanding
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Roukaya
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18 Replies
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Hi Roukaya, I do know what a challenge your mum can be for you at times, and it's not easy trying to deal with the problems of someone who is living so far away from you. You've learned to handle her demands much better, and I think this has to become a habit for you as you try to get that qualification you so badly want. Don't let her get under your skin. She's your mum and deserves your help, but only to the extent that you are able to give it. And you need to set your rules with her, around this, as if you try to oblige her every time, she will only come to believe that this is easy for you, which clearly it isn't. Always happy to be of help in any way we can. Take care. 🙏
A big sofa coming in on Monday, which should more or less complete the Living Room, apart from some (More!) new Curtains. Blackout blinds as well as it is on the South side and very hot at present.
The garage is full of packing boxes which we have to put out a few at a time for the Bin men, and when they are gone I will be getting a chest freezer.
Planning to redo the kitchen, because it's half the size of my old one, and badly designed. The sink needs moving as its in a corner. and there's a section which can do with more cupboard and worktop space. Then a small conservatory on the back to take the dining room table.
Next will be reworking the bathroom into a Wet room, instead of a Wheelchair shower, which is difficult for my son to get me out of if I fall.
The retaining wall in the garden needs to be replaced, as it is beginning to fail, and I don't want half of the neighbour's garden to fall into mine! All lots of money, which I think I have enough for, with the funds from my old house.
Hi Roukaya, your mum needs to know that at the moment your focus needs to be on your revision and study, her needs must come secondary to that at the moment and you must place your self first if you want to achieve your set goals. Stressful distraction will hinder your study. Maybe tell your mum, whilst you are studying for your resits, you may limit your phone calls just for this short period, so you can concentrate and maintain that focus. 😊🌸🌞
No, not at all Roukaya, I am puzzled as to why you would ask. I think anxiety is a terrible thing to suffer from. My own daughter suffer's from it. I too once suffered from it a very long time ago. To offer a kind word or an idea, or a thought about something, or encouragement, that is nothing for anyone to do. I will always try and give encouragement to everyone who needs it because being a human being is about, not just looking after yourself but supporting other's where you can. 😊🌼🌼
Your mum does not see to understand that your anxiety issues have such a big impact on your life. I think, sometimes parent's choose not to see problems with their children, no matter how old they are. I think it is because they are frightened of what might surface or they completely choose to ignore it because they don't know how to deal with it. Of course, if your mum has anxiety issues that have not been dealt with, it's unlikely she will recognize you difficulties. This is why at times you must put yourself first to get what you want to do done. 😊🌼🌞
Your mum is not your responsibility hundred percent although we all like to help others you can only offer advice and love and support if it's too much for you listen and just don't take it all in you can avoid the phone or computer at times,I'm in the bath😉shopping studying ya know xx
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