Coping with life alone and a Mother w... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Coping with life alone and a Mother who puts her worries on me

Roukaya profile image

I often write on here as many are supportive

I find myself trying to cope with resitting my exams and looking for work

My only source of income a rental flat is empty plus my Mother can shoe do much kindness to others but she puts all her worries on me

I am fifty one in August and mentally I am trying to resolve my own life plus having to deal within an elderly and difficult Mother

10 Replies

You've proved to yourself that you are stronger than you thought Roukaya. Life's never easy but I think we really help ourselves feel better about all its challenges when we realise how resilient we can be, and start to overcome them one by one. You're doing amazingly well.

Writer Lucy Maud Montgomery said: "Thank goodness we can choose our friends. We have to take our relatives as they are."

That sums up the difficulties many people have with family. They can use us, take us for granted, speak ill of us and we are still stuck with them. We just wouldn't take that from our friends.

Just keep working on what will make you feel better in life. 🙏

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Good evening

I hope you are well

Thank you for being kind enough to answer

I realise that my Mother can behave like a little child

More importantly I have learnt to realise abs have an appreciation for what we have

Lock Down teaches us that life can be so fragile and transient for some

I agonise at times when I will be able to command my own sense of purpose but Lock Down has taught me that the will to succeed begins with my own efforts

I am also quite moved with the memorial of George Floyd only 46 but symbolic to change the world amid Covid 19

His purpose to inspire for generations to come and never to be forgotten

Thank you again for listening

This forum has been invaluable to me

Good morning

I hope you are well.

Thank you for your reply

I realise what you are saying is very true and I agree

One parent a very overwhelming parent died two years ago and I am left with the remaining dominant parent

I think the power to reclaim my life lies with me and no one else

I know it is part of herself to always put herself first and when she cannot cope she puts it in me

You are among a few who have told me to stand up for myself

I am under pressure to find a tenant for the flat , to pass the exams which I have failed before and find a years work experience

I think what I realise is for my voice to be heard

I am fifty and I can honestly say I have not been taken seriously especially in the works of work

I expect this is why I must keep trying as no one else can make this happen but myself

I hope you are keeping well

Thank you for being kind enough to answer

Good morning

I have read what you have said with great interest

As I am told it is for me to take responsibility for my own life

I expect it is realising that since my Father has gone my Mother has always put herself first and her treatment of me reflects this

It is for me to realise she will never change but I should

It is perhaps a blessing that I do not live overseas with her

Thank you

I hope you are well

You are doing amazing , I look after my elderly mother in law and I'm having a tough time , I'm here for you xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Manda43

Good morning

How are you

How do you cope

You say I am doing amazing

What makes to think of this ?

Manda43 profile image
Manda43 in reply to Roukaya

I go in the garden and sit there, you have your health and looking after your mum, carers of loved ones are not mentioned by the news and government, it's a thankless job caring after a loved one xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Manda43

Thank you for your reply

I hope you are ok

I failed to explain that my Mother lives overseas by herself

My parents separated many years ago and my Father remained in UK and so did I but my Mother left an abusive marriage

When my Father became older with Dementia it was put on me to care for my elderly Father plus he was also involved with a younger woman who set out to ruin him

I had to protect him and everything

My Mother took all of this for granted and my job and exams have suffered as a result since I lost my Father two years ago

It is a thank less task but you will be blessed in the long term

Manda43 profile image
Manda43 in reply to Roukaya

Your not alone on here your doing really well, parents are a pain I only have my mother in law no mum or dad , I take each day xx

Good Afternoon

I hope you are well

I only have a Mother who lives overseas who puts all her worries on me

I am very much on my own

But Lock Down has taught me a great deal

I would rather be on my own than with those who could make me unhappy

I have been insulted by many and humiliated by many so I am learning to realise this how others judge and make assumptions on me

I think because I have a childish voice and I lack outward confidence I am often treated quite badly

I have noticed this and perhaps this is why I am by myself

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