I have been posting on this Forum due to loneliness and anxiety
I have realised that only I can take back control and responsibility for the direction of my life’s direction
I now understand that my elderly Mother has been a great source of distraction with her anxiety and as much as I try to support her it is taken for granted
I used to be a very motivated person many years ago and I can see very clearly what I should be doing in order to enable me to move ahead
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Roukaya
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Great Roukaya.... keep a close eye on where it is you are aiming for and don't get upset or held back by distractions like your mother's anxiety! Take care! 🙏
I am beginning to see that I have been trying to study for a Diploma in Wills snd Probate and I can see that it requires a depth of understanding with accuracy and precision
I also think that at fifty years old it saddens me to say this that my Mother does nit wish to see me succeed
By being unemployed and unmarried it suits her
I never realised that Mothers who are Narcissistic put themselves utmost first and their ego needs to be propped up and reassured by an Empath in this case the daughter
This is why my studies were not fully focused on an already hard topic
That's brilliant, Roukaya. You can do this!! We are all with you. All my love Lynne xxxx ❤️🤗🌈💜
Your motivation is still there Roukaya, sometimes we just loose it for a while but it's there none the less and it is just within us waiting to be found again. You love your mum but she does put pressures on you and distracts you from your true being and your goals. We have seen from some of your post's, you are stronger than you think. When you have had a problem, you have been determined to sort that problem out. For example, your flat, your car, your noisy neighbors. You have been dealing with these stressful situation, on your own and dealing with them outstandingly. I think you need to give yourself some credit and realize just what a capable, caring and thoughtful person you are. You are strong enough to realize your goals and dreams. xx
I wish you all the best on your new journey Roukaya. I know it has been a difficult decision, but stay focused on what you feel is right for you. Keep helping your mum, but perhaps from a different perspective?🌈xx
I will try to be of support to Mum but give advice and listen but at the same time to remain calm and focussed with attempting to assist the situation without the added anxiety of Mums worries impacting on me
This is the response we were all looking for. You can do your studies and you can succeed, most of all I can see in your post that you are starting to take the control back from your mother. It’s you that is important and if your mum can’t stand to see you succeed then bugger her. You go and grab the world with both hands my lovely xxx
I have began to understand my mindset and how it has been impacted since the loss of my Father two years ago
My Father was a very strong man but due to a brain injury he gradually deteriorated and was also taken advantage of in his old age
As an only child I became his carer and managed also his business
I would turn to my Mother for support and we both turned to each other for support
Since Dad gone I slowly realise that she can be supportive and also demanding and strong minded which was overwhelming for my mind as I had lost my Father
By failing the exams over three years and my inability to find a work placement only fuelled my sense of inadequacy and failure
However in Lock Down I was to benefit fir the progressive help of a Psychotherapist who made me understand that my Mothets worries and anxieties was negativity impacting on my ability to pass and find employment
This is why I have learnt to take emotional responsibility and financial control over the situation I find myself in
My shopping and the chimney sweep both arrive tomorrow, not today. Thursday I have an appointment at the local skip, so apart from hospital appointments, this will be my first real outing. There is some heavy stuff, so my partner will come too as I am still suffering with my back. After that, we will drive around the town on a sight-seeing tour, to see for ourselves what the supermarkets look like, and the streets and whether parks are crowded. We get pleasure now from small things.
Today - don't know. I have done a wash and I really must get out for a walk, particularly before it gets cold. I haven't had breakfast yet but afterwards, shower and get dressed. I am a bit of a "straw in the wind" these days. I hate being like this but things are different now and I must be kind to myself, as we all must.
I hope you get a good run at your studies and turn the phone off!
Will say a prayer for you. I had quite a depressing day yesterday due to all the unrest and destruction happening in the USA. Most of the day I was in tears. Please pray for our nation. God bless...
You are not alone in this Roukaya. Try and take it one day at a time, I am also starting to feel a little "Stir Crazy" and missing being with people, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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