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Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Finding great understanding in this on line Forum

Roukaya profile image
28 Replies

They say every one has a breaking point

I have been posting on this Forum due to loneliness and anxiety

I have realised that only I can take back control and responsibility for the direction of my life’s direction

I now understand that my elderly Mother has been a great source of distraction with her anxiety and as much as I try to support her it is taken for granted

I used to be a very motivated person many years ago and I can see very clearly what I should be doing in order to enable me to move ahead

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Roukaya profile image
Roukaya
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28 Replies

Great Roukaya.... keep a close eye on where it is you are aiming for and don't get upset or held back by distractions like your mother's anxiety! Take care! 🙏

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Hello

Thank you for your reply

I am beginning to see that I have been trying to study for a Diploma in Wills snd Probate and I can see that it requires a depth of understanding with accuracy and precision

I also think that at fifty years old it saddens me to say this that my Mother does nit wish to see me succeed

By being unemployed and unmarried it suits her

I never realised that Mothers who are Narcissistic put themselves utmost first and their ego needs to be propped up and reassured by an Empath in this case the daughter

This is why my studies were not fully focused on an already hard topic

That's brilliant, Roukaya. You can do this!! We are all with you. All my love Lynne xxxx ❤️🤗🌈💜

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

It is very hard to come to terms that my Mother is someone who puts herself first so this is why I have been subservient to all her needs and wants

The studies are hard and finding a work experience placement will require a great deal of effort

in reply toRoukaya

Yes, I can understand that. I know you are strong enough to do this. Lots of love Lynne xxxx ❤️💜

in reply toRoukaya

You didn't cause the narcissism. No one can fix it, even though you may still want to help.

Be strong Roukaya. 🙏🏽😘🤗❤️

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Hello

How are you

Thank you

How have you been managing today ?

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

Your motivation is still there Roukaya, sometimes we just loose it for a while but it's there none the less and it is just within us waiting to be found again. You love your mum but she does put pressures on you and distracts you from your true being and your goals. We have seen from some of your post's, you are stronger than you think. When you have had a problem, you have been determined to sort that problem out. For example, your flat, your car, your noisy neighbors. You have been dealing with these stressful situation, on your own and dealing with them outstandingly. I think you need to give yourself some credit and realize just what a capable, caring and thoughtful person you are. You are strong enough to realize your goals and dreams. xx

in reply tobobbybobb

Well said, I totally agree with you. Xxxx

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits in reply tobobbybobb

Well said

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good evening

I hope you are safe and well

Your post made me smile

Very kind and encouraging words

Thank you

I wish you a peaceful evening

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply toRoukaya

I am well thanks, I hope you are also having a peaceful evening and planning for the future. xx

mattymoo33 profile image
mattymoo33

I wish you all the best on your new journey Roukaya. I know it has been a difficult decision, but stay focused on what you feel is right for you. Keep helping your mum, but perhaps from a different perspective?🌈xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good morning

I hope you are well

Thank you for your reply

I will try to keep going

I think you have said what I have thought

I will try to be of support to Mum but give advice and listen but at the same time to remain calm and focussed with attempting to assist the situation without the added anxiety of Mums worries impacting on me

jillydabrat profile image
jillydabrat

This is the response we were all looking for. You can do your studies and you can succeed, most of all I can see in your post that you are starting to take the control back from your mother. It’s you that is important and if your mum can’t stand to see you succeed then bugger her. You go and grab the world with both hands my lovely xxx

Sunfloweronline profile image
Sunfloweronline in reply tojillydabrat

Morning all I’m seeing so much benefit from sharing and working through the many issues in our lives 😊

Our day’s can be better focused- with a little help from our friends!!!! Have a positive, happy, but mindful day R and us all x

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply tojillydabrat

Good morning

I hope you are safe and well

Thank you for your reply

I have began to understand my mindset and how it has been impacted since the loss of my Father two years ago

My Father was a very strong man but due to a brain injury he gradually deteriorated and was also taken advantage of in his old age

As an only child I became his carer and managed also his business

I would turn to my Mother for support and we both turned to each other for support

Since Dad gone I slowly realise that she can be supportive and also demanding and strong minded which was overwhelming for my mind as I had lost my Father

By failing the exams over three years and my inability to find a work placement only fuelled my sense of inadequacy and failure

However in Lock Down I was to benefit fir the progressive help of a Psychotherapist who made me understand that my Mothets worries and anxieties was negativity impacting on my ability to pass and find employment

This is why I have learnt to take emotional responsibility and financial control over the situation I find myself in

Thank you for listening

How are you managing in Lockdown

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie

Good morning Roukaya, You are getting there and we are all supporting you. You can find solutions to all problems when you stay strong.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply toMaggieSylvie

Good morning

How are you

Thank you for your very kind words

Very good of you

Have you received your on line food from Sainsbury or Tesco

I am beginning to see where I need to Moshe improvements and clearly this starts with my own emotional strength abs resilience

How will you spend your day ?

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie

Hi Roukaya,

My shopping and the chimney sweep both arrive tomorrow, not today. Thursday I have an appointment at the local skip, so apart from hospital appointments, this will be my first real outing. There is some heavy stuff, so my partner will come too as I am still suffering with my back. After that, we will drive around the town on a sight-seeing tour, to see for ourselves what the supermarkets look like, and the streets and whether parks are crowded. We get pleasure now from small things.

Today - don't know. I have done a wash and I really must get out for a walk, particularly before it gets cold. I haven't had breakfast yet but afterwards, shower and get dressed. I am a bit of a "straw in the wind" these days. I hate being like this but things are different now and I must be kind to myself, as we all must.

I hope you get a good run at your studies and turn the phone off!

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Hello

I hope you are keeping well

It seems you have quite a busy week ahead

Everything in life takes time and patience

I had to de clutter my Fathers home as he was admitted to a Nursing Home

I had to enlist the services of a removal company

It was a huge task plus my Father had dementia living on his own clinging to his independence

He loved his independence and was a free spirit and a womaniser

It was his last woman who abused him financially

But I did my best to protect him and even yesterday I saw the other women in town

I used to be shaken when I saw her but now realise she did not finish us nor ruin my Father

It took five skips to empty his house and beautiful pieces of furniture are kept in storage waiting for a home

That is the idea that I pass the Diploma and obtain a years experience to sell the flat I am living in and to buy a little home with a garden

I hope your week goes well

Thank you for asking

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

I'm glad you have come to that realisation; Your Mum has been holding you back.

Go forwards now, and find your life and work, but remember we are here for support.

Cheers, Midori

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Good Afternoon

How are you

How is the house progressing

It is admirable that you took the decision to move house and make a new home

I often wish to sell a flat I have but I was hoping when I find a job to sell the flat and buy a home with a garden

I think as my Father died I turned to my Mother but I had no idea before how this was impacting on me

Three years later due to three attempts of the exams and still trying to find a years work experience placement in Wills and Probate I can see why ?

But I can see now

Thank you for keeping in touch

The weather very hot

Very nice if you have a garden

sassykitty profile image
sassykitty

Will say a prayer for you. I had quite a depressing day yesterday due to all the unrest and destruction happening in the USA. Most of the day I was in tears. Please pray for our nation. God bless...

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply tosassykitty

Good Afternoon

I hope you are well

There are times even though I do my prayers I tend to suffer from anxiety bad depression

I wonder if you have anyone near you for support

I have very little support except my Mother overseas and two Aunties who live in U.K. but at a distance

It is extremely distressing to see how the gentleman life was abruptly ended due to discrimination

It has opened up a volcano of civil unrest at the unfairness of society which still systematically acts to divide the whites and non whites

He was an innocent msn who has sadly suffered at the hands of a white supremacist

Being denied opportunities on account of our skin colour is prevalent every where

Sadly this has become all too apparent and unacceptable in this day and age

It is time that this virus called discrimination in all forms is extinguished from our lives

Easier said than done

Thank you for your prayer

Try to think of something you can do and something to look forward for to remove you from your sadness

Craftyperson profile image
CraftypersonReading Rabbits

Glad you've reached a turning point and decision hope everything works out ok for you. You can only change you not others good luck

Woodman62 profile image
Woodman62

You are not alone in this Roukaya. Try and take it one day at a time, I am also starting to feel a little "Stir Crazy" and missing being with people, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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