Janet and John were enjoying their secure, suburban retirement dream. Retired from their respective careers in Accounts Administration and Sales Management, their 2 children had long since grown up with 4 grand-children following eagerly in their family’s professional and social footsteps.
So, now it was time for Janet and John to enjoy the Good Life at last - with the usual trappings of a nearly-new Mercedes in the driveway, ample supplies of Vintage Claret and Gin in stock, VIP membership at the local Golf Club and a large house and garden to maintain and enjoy. Well, for John in the most part. For Janet, mainly the garden - but most of all her newly found circle of friends via the magic of the social media.
John hadn’t been his normal, charming (if lugubrious) self for a while - even more since his increasing ‘I’m awfully tired, darling’ remarks, and complaining about not being able to lift his arms to even properly do-up his normally immaculate silk neck tie - a legacy from his salesman days - not to mention playing a round of golf. Janet had always complained about John not lifting a finger around the house, but this was now taking things a bit too far.
After a referral from their confused and ambivalent (nearly-retired also) GP, John finally had his appointment with the ‘new’ Rheumatologist at the local hospital. He came home looking happier than she had seen him for a long time.
Janet, (excitedly but sardonically): “So, how did you get on - old age creeping up on you at last?!” Janet was well known for her reliable sense of déjà vu, not to mention her subtle wit and gentle diplomacy.
John: “Actually, darling, there’s more to it than that. I’ve got Polymyalgia Rheumatica. It’s a serious immune-system illness where the body attacks itself, or something like that. It’s complicated, apparently it’s usually a women’s thing, and quite rare in men”.
Janet: “Trust YOU to get something exotic with a fancy name - as usual! How did you get it? Who was the Rheumatologist? Another graduate straight from medical school I suppose? What does HE know?”
John shifted uneasily, if slightly excitedly, in his favourite armchair. “Actually, darling, the Rheumatologist was a SHE. Samantha, er, ‘Doctor French’ was very nice. She was interested in me as a person, and really helpful. She’s quite young but she knows her stuff and put her finger on it immediately. She gave me a good going-over, diagnosed something called ‘PMR’ and gave me this prescription for steroid tablets to treat it. She says I’ll soon feel like a new man - I’ll be able to get a firm grip on my morning stiffness and probably even feel quite euphoric!”.
Janet: (unable to contain her combined incredulity and suspicion): “She.. Samantha.. a young woman Rheumatologist?! I hope you didn’t play the Sympathy Card and try to chat her up like you did with the new postal delivery lady? ‘Good going-over’? What did THAT involve?” John had previous form for encouraging this kind of thing with younger women…
John: (with a mischievous smirk): “Oh, nothing really, darling. Samantha, er, Doctor French just told me to lie down on the couch and lift my arms. Then, she held my hands and pushed them towards her. And then, the same with my thighs. She’s quite petite but very, er, capable - I found it hard to resist her bedside manner. She has an amazing diagnostic technique”. John’s ensuing, deliberate silence left Janet’s imagination to do its own work...
Janet (disapprovingly, but reconciled to John's clumsy account of his appointment): “Mmmm.. well, I hope those pills make you a bit less grumpy than you have been recently. Euphoria? - Ha! - that would be a turn-up for the books. The last time was in 1998 when you were Sales Manager of the Year for your old firm. And, as for your ‘stiffness’…”. Janet stopped short and, for some reason, recalled her first sweetheart from her teenage years. “Anyway, I thought Steroids were meant for Body Builders and Celebrity ‘Hunks’ ”. Again, her thoughts turned to her very first Love - a now, equally ageing, former local Radio DJ with these physical attributes, and who she had recently re-connected with via the internet - unknown to John...
John shrugged his shoulders in a resigned but quietly triumphant way. “Well, darling, at least I’ve got a diagnosis and some treatment from a supportive specialist. And Samantha has said to Bang Hard on her door anytime and not hold back if I have any more problems - especially with any kind of stiffness or if I am finding things frustrating. She said I can look forward to 'playing a round' again, and also that there’s a very good social website forum for people like me where I can get lots of support and make some good friends. It’s called PMRGCAuk, and she’s on it too. I might try it later today… how do you sign-up to these kinds of websites?”
John suddenly had a new sense of energy in his previously tired voice..
Despite their overall successful marriage of 40 years, Janet kept her own counsel over her secret romantic interest via the internet despite John having clumsily let-slip about his obvious affection for his own ‘new’ one in real life. But better to have a few innocent secrets than declared ones?
But Janet knew the score in their relationship - John’s 'new' but hopelessly implausible romantic interest would soon move on. Hers would still be there - and John too. Result or what? John was good at Closing the Deal - but Janet knew more about Managing Contingencies.
After the day’s exciting events, Janet and John agreed that, after a significant day for them both in their retirement relationship with John’s newly diagnosed PMR, and despite uncertainty in the air, it was all the same time to open the Claret - and the Gin - as usual. It was 3 p.m. in the afternoon after all. Business as Usual...
Happy Days!
MB 
Disclaimer: all characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictional .. or are they..?
Changing Rheumatologist and pressure changes during a flight.
New Rheumatologist
PMR only lasts two years . So says my Rheumatologist.
PMR and Diet
