Dealing mentally with chronic pain

[Yogi04]

Hi, I'm 29 years old, have been through a rough couple of years progressively getting worse until every day is now a challenge. It's taken over a year to be diagnosed correctly (I pushed hard after finding endometriosis matched my symptoms) and I'm very lucky that an MRI picked up on elements of it.

Right now I am struggling with the mental health side of it caused by the physical side..I've had to quit my job and completely reshape who I am as my jobs have always been physical which I am incapable of at the moment. I am emotionally exhausted, angry and frustrated to wake up every single day in pain or feeling sick or like I'll pass out, in a haze, depressed and just riddled with feeling unwell. I am so uncomfortable in my own body that it feels impossible for me to manage being in it every day. I'm breaking down, I think mostly I am angry at myself and my body and I don't know how to not be and just accept it and it's driving me in a depressive hole.

It's getting a lot for my partner so I have nowhere else to turn right now for support, has anyone been in this place and knows what to do to get out of it cus I feel incapable of managing my body or mind right now...

Tia x

[CatsandCars]

Hi, Tia. Wow, your post is just heartbreaking. You are so young, and you've already suffered so much, and yet it keeps getting worse. And it sucks that your partner can't have compassion for you. My heart really goes out to you. I do not have the same diagnosis. I have had terrible pain from my pelvic floor, though, and I don't know your history, but I think it might help to see more doctors? I know it can be tricky in the UK since you might have to go private. But endometriosis is known to be a very painful condition, and it makes no sense to me that your pain isn't being treated more effectively. Woukd surgery help you? Can you see a pain specialist if you haven't done that already? All of this sounds lame even as I type it, but seeing different doctors is how I found help, although I am in the US.

I hope someone else can help you find the relief that you so desperately need and deserve. ❤️

Also, be mad at the situation, but there's no reason to be mad at yourself or your body. You have done nothing wrong, and your poor body needs your nurturing and gratitude. It has served you despite a horrible condition. Please be gentle with yourself.

[Limetree62]

Hi Tia, I have endometriosis/adenomyosis and was only diagnosed end of 2023 after going private in the UK. In hindsight I had been suffering for 10+ years and had to go through a journey of different diagnostic tests and was diagnosed with a variety of conditions. Like you my last few years the pain, fatigue was so bad I was at the point of considering leaving my job (physical/outdoor teaching children). I just didn't have the mental or physical ability. Hard to explain in a post but some things that stand out that have supported me to stay in my role and improve my quality of life:

1. Endometriosis/adenomyosis diagnosis and surgery to remove Endometriosis, use of progesterone.

2. Working with a nutritional therapist (more holistic approach to health and medicine) with them feeding into my GP.

3. Diet changes supported by nutritional therapists with a real focus on me as an individual and not just a generic plan. Note it took a lot of time, hard work and money for tests, groceries, appointments but it has been so worth in the long run.

4. Complementary medicine - accupunture, sound baths, meditation, visualisation etc. Have all really supported me with pain, emotions and my overall mindset.

5. Exercise that is right for me and my body. It changes and I've learnt to listen. Yoga, pilates gentle walks, stretch all work for me but at least 3x month I can do a cardio/high intensity workout as long as mentally I'm doing ok and health is optimum. I avoid 10days around period or if have illness e.g. cold as need to allow more rest/recovery.

6. Well-being various things from 1:1 formal counselling to walking groups with wellbeing focus to scheduling time for myself to just be, have that warm bath, read a book etc.

7. Talking to my partner and explaining challenges and things that could help. It has been amazing to see the change since I started sharing on how he has then shown support. He felt helpless before but once I shared he understood ways he could help. He also reacted well to seeing me feel empowered to help myself and as I implemented some of the above he began to be my cheerleader and when I had bad days he reminded me how far I'd come and what I was doing which helped me get back on track.

I am just now learning about hormone health but just started this journey of learning.

Like you i was at rock bottom and wanted someone/anyone to wave a magic wand and make me the happy/healthy person i so desperately wanted to be. I was surviving each day and the pain meant I could focus on little else. Now I have space as my pain management is better and I implement as much as possible of the above.

Please know everything you are feeling is valid. Everyone's journey will be different but you are the key to making that journey right for you. Reaching out and asking questions is brave and you have begun by sharing on here. Know you are not alone and although I don't have the answers for you I am very happy to share my experiences and offer support where I can.

It can be overwhelming knowing where to start and I would recommend sitting and just writing down anything that is coming up for you - feelings, challenges boundaries. Things that you enjoy, make you feel good, maybe improve pain. This could then give you base to work out what to work on first.

Please reach out if you want to talk further.

Sending love and strength x

[MissStar]

I feel for you! Personally I have worked hard at accepting physical pain and health issues - doing my best to turn them around - as opportunities for change. Viewing the symptoms as a means of the body to communicate to us. It takes time and effort to stop and listen. There are many healing modalities available these days, find what resonates with you, what inspires you, and give it time. And believe your body is perfectly designed, and able to heal itself. Our environment and lifestyles often are not natural or body friendly, so we have to investigate and make changes. I have finally learnt to meditate, take time for exercise (although need even more, work in progress), and slowly learning to change what I eat and when, improving my sleep and getting up early with the sun! (sunhealing!) Like I said, so many opportunities to find healing habits - without my health issues I would not have changed. Sending you love and healing waves

[Dondonsm23]

Hi welcome to the fab site in which you will receive understanding from both women & men in what you are going through lots of advise and help from many I have just been in bits my gp cancelled my appointment last week was spent trying to talk to the right person who all denied they had my referral it's a hard slog mentally fighting to get anything from what we call the NHS but even that is falling apartI do wish I had spare money to go private this would help tremendously my partner is understanding and helps so much but he is a scared when he sees all crap of what going through different hospitals doctors the lot mainly the pain I am too with the pain management team all this but I am not on the right pain relief doesn't even touch the walls

I don't know were to go or neither have faith in the nhs system no more I am mentally not right I'll just keep going and fighting for proper diagnosis medications i am alot older than you you are so young with a lot to go through it's not fair you will get a lot of good advise and help here wish you the very best of luck too

[Cattlewoman]

Hello Tia, I cant offer much by way of support in your diagnosis, or the condition you are suffering from (except I too have hypertonic pelvic floor, a result of a serious spinal cord injury)… but I almost cried, reading your post.

I too have in my life been proud of and defined myself by my ability to compete alone in the man’s world of ranching, cattle and horses, in the west of Canada.

Now I too am losing function, my body is torquing it seems, and I have had several orthopaedic surgeries now, one every 6 months! and my running habit, or managing alone handling beasts that are going to accidentally hurt me badly someday is in serious jeopardy.

I will have a baclofen pump installed on Friday… this procedure my GP had never even heard of. But research on my own described it to me, and the trials of pumping the medicine directly into my spinal cord were VERY successful.

Can you ask if this would help you? I felt my pelvic floor relax (sweet relief) along with my feet, calves and on up.

The cord injury was at the spinal level around T2 or T4. Almost 4 years ago

Please read as much as you can, and keep trying. Be your own advocate. At your young age you surely do not deserve to have no hope.

No matter what it is that you may find will help you, please bang your spoon and fight for your health. You will always find support here.

God Bless you.

Kristal