Using Dilators

[Desidgal64]

Hi ladies,

I need some support regarding using dilators. Frankly I’m anxious thinking about sex given how painful it has been. This seems to have affected my ability to use dilators too. So a couple questions for you.

1) How did you incorporate using a dilator in your day? Did you use reminders, if so how and what?

2) How long did it take for you to get through all the dilators to the largest size?

3) How long after starting to use dilators did you start having sex?

Any and all support would be helpful. I haven’t had sex in 2 years thanks to all these pelvic floor problems. I’m only 32. Would be nice to start again.

[Kootsie]

I just started using dilators about a month ago. I haven't had sex in over 3 years.😣😥 I was really afraid at first but they are really helping and it is less painful all the time. I am using medium size for now. I just use every evening while I watch tv. (I live alone since my husband divorced me because of this condition). You can PM me if you want. Sounds like we are in the same boat. I am not ready for sex but it is getting closer.

[Susiebic]

I use a dilator. I have had this pelvic floor pain for ten years. I was shown how to by my PT. For me I cannot go to any spot in the vagina. I have one spot to treat for a pressure point. My PT used a clock face to tell me where to put pressure. All of our areas are different to treat. I found it the dilator is too small there is no relief. Too big is painful. I get immediate relief and can feel the muscles relax and pain relief immediately. Do you have a urogenital PT? You need one to tell you where your pressure point is. Sex is a tough one because I would think it depends on your partner understanding your issue. First you need to know that yourself.

[kate24601]

I was given the dilators for vaginismus when i was 17. I used them pretty regularly til I went to uni and made good progress, but then was on D3 for about a year with no progress at all.

I still tried to have penetrative sex at the same time because I thought leaving it as like an 'end goal' would put more pressure on it, and then make me feel bad after years of using the dilators for it to not work at all. I basically used sex as like an extra dilator and it took some of the awkwardness out of it too and made it less like a goal to aim for and more of an ongoing thing, as I know of people who have finished dilators and then struggled because they weren't ready for something that wasn't hard, plastic and could be as easily controlled haha!

I still use them if I've had a stressful day and the muscles hurt, and I still can't get the largest one in but can have pain free penetrative sex. I also found a pelvic wand helped loads in terms of finding the spot that hurt! I'm here if you ever need to chat, I know how frustrating it is to be in this situation! x