Another horrid day and maxed out on pain relief

Wot a horrid day. Its only 2pm and im already maxed out on pain relife. 

My mood is so low ive only been up three hours due not not sleeping last nite. 

My bowles are all over the place yellow poo chronic stabbing pain and twisting in the lower abdomen. 

Hot water bottle thats scolded and and scared my tummy. 

I feel so sorry for my partner as he wants me to go to a and e but they only give me morphine and send me on my way. 

I really don't wanna carry on like this my mental health is pushed to the extreme.  

7 Replies

  • Hang in there. Take it one day at a time. I too am going thru my coping drug limit. With a little more sleep somehow can get thru the day. Continue on searching for experts. Each day could bring someone new. I understand the coping limit but this blog is here for you for us all to support one another so we are not alone.  Just take it one day at a time or one hour or minute at a time you are stronger than you think you are. Do whatever possible to put your mind on something else during times like this. Easier said than done. 

  • I know we are all hanging in there by a thin rope of despair and lost hope, but we have to keep fighting, if not for ourselves and family, for future generations of chronic pain sufferers. I tried to commit suicide and lost my family because of it. I have to fight this soul, mind, and psyche altering beast everyday with no one by my physical side now. I feel alone and lost in a world that unfortunately treats us like we are social and monetary leeches, when all we want to be are productive and active people in life and society. We are held back by these heavy chains of pain, disappointment, and loss of self worth. However, we are not any of those things for which we are falsely and sometimes aggressively accused of being. We are all important and special people who have unfortunately been confined to living lives focused on our escape from this brutal and relentless condition. I know the spiked club of relentless pain bombardment makes all of us feel like soaring like an eagle who forgot to flap his wings that day; but shellydew, you, I, and all of the rest of us on here are worth it. We just have to convince the world that our condition is an urgent one that actively destroys not only us, but can damage those around us. Stay strong!!

  • got that right Man....  I decided long ago that i am not living for myself anymore... Have done what i have thinking of future sufferers... I was never selfish but trying to not think about the amazing life i lost is bout the best i can do for myself...  Everything is a bitch specially to me cause even though I know what could cure me it is not even allowed to me... My 4th Lumbar dorsal nerve root directly completely controls my pelvic muscles that cause my PNE... Is one bitch of a situation to have this disease... If it was legal to get a neurectomy anymore i would be completely cured... But medical science  during my decade of having this is stalled out for me... Had this happened in the 90s to me it would of been possible to get what needs to be done for me.... Had to accept that my life is not mine to live.... For the future victims i go through what no one should ever have to... 

        I have been forced to go completely off medicine cause of the laws that just got passed in the US.... Going to the ER is just a insult... They wont give out any help in texas anymore....  I will only get maybe 2 hours of being passed out in my condition also.... So am drinking just to fatigue my brain to get any sleep in a day.... All of this is more than a human can take.... Is a cruel world to be sure....  I wasnt asked to live this life... Would of said hell no if my parents had asked me if i wanted to exist,,,,   I lost all my family bout 6 years ago now..... I exist in spite of everything.... In spite of the disease... In spite of losing everything because of it....  The only good thing i have seen in the last decade was the massive white light passing experience when i was puking to death a year ago.... None of us should be put through the loss of all we held dear what feels like a once upon a time ago to me....  We definitely never signed up to be warriors in this fight of our lives.... Life is nothing but a fight... My ex forced me to promise to fight to the last breath.... She had no idea what she was really asking me to do....  I have done my part in this war... earned the reward to lay down this burden when the time comes....... Before almost dying i just thought i would see darkness... But when i was right there at the edge there was pure light and pure peace...  Flooded by a realm of light i couldnt of imagined was there when i arrived at the doorstep to the other side.... I really just look forward seeing that realm of peace... I remember how it felt that all of existence was telling why and for what reason i was forced to fight this war we all find ourselves in....  Even now it is not really possible to explain what that other side was giving me all the answers to.... It is something beyond what here in the waking world can be conveyed in this primitive spoken language... But i can tell you that there was a world of answers there...  Peace in a place beyond these woe begotten bodies we find ourselves in.... 

  • Please hang in there! Life isn't fair! Take one minute at a time. 

    Big Hugs to you shellydew xx

  • Hi Shellydew, long term pain medication or over medicating can cause bowel problems and abdominal pain, gastric irritation. Have you tried stopping the pain medication for a while to see if your tummy and bowels settle down. It is worth a try and may help you to sleep if your not so anxious. The other thing is to check with your GP about sending a stool specimen due to the colour and consistency of your poo as this may be significant to your undiagnosed symptoms. Also discuss with your GP a referral to a gastro-enterologist who can do further tests on your bowels. All the best, I hope things get better soon.

  • Hi guys ive had a spint of gastrointtis ive done a few days without pain relief and slept most of it. 

    I had a friend how offered me canabis chocolate which I declined.  But after reading up on it it has opened my eyes. 

    Im a fighter and will get better its just sad that my family children and friends are missing out on the person I use to be . 

  • I would not take cannabis no matter how much pain I was in. It is better to go to your GP and get a poo specimen done and a referral to a gastroenterologist. Hope things will improve for you soon.

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