What do u think?

Husband/wife becomes sick for a few days and the partner kicks it up a notch to help them get better. Be it taking meds, food, water to them in bed to help recover! Even special deliveries to cheer them up!!!

NOW husband/ wife becomes sick with disease that affects their family and life. This is what I have noticed and am just curious if others have noticed the same

When the husband gets sick the partner usually gets the details of the sickness, what's involved, how we can help either by diets, exercise or whatever. We usually research the topic to death lol 😂

NOw the wife gets sick and the partner will do things for abit but hopes things will get back to normal soon or just forgets after awhile your sick. Or at least that's maybe their way of coping.

I can only speak from my personal experiences and what I have seen with friends and family. I have watched this with my parents who are still alive at 86 & 85.

My mom has had cancer, hip surgery, 2 knee replacements and just had hernia operation last week This has all happened in the last 9 yrs us girls always went up to help because she doesn't get the same care and stayed for awhile. My dad has had bypass surgery 10 yrs ago had a hip replacement 12 yrs ago We also went up to help but didn't have to stay as long because mom was looking after him. Otherwise pretty healthy and stubborn lol (did I mention my dad is British)

BUt interesting to see what others think and do. To get a different view would be nice. To maybe understand the other side and what your going thru as you are as well but differently I am sure. MY husband just figures if he doesn't speak about it, maybe will go away. But he knows it won't! I want to talk about it a lot. That's how I feel he thinks anyways...

thanks for your input!!

Debbie

6 Replies

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  • Hi welchd

    Well you have me smiling! So many instances I know where the man of the house is not as sympathetic or capable as the lady of the house I think this is why there is the phrase "man flu" :-)

    I have to admit I am lucky my husband does most of the shopping and cooking and that is his preference. I do breakfast and lunch and he does dinner, he is a good listener but then I am not always sure he is truly listening! However girlfriends of mine cannot be ill otherwise husband/partner cannot cope but heaven help them when their man is poorly!

    I am still smiling.

    best wishes

  • I am as well thankful for my husband. I was venting a month or so back to him about woe is me. How I will be a burden etc. Not feeling very positive etc. You know what he said to me. He asked. What if it was him that was sick. How would I react. I said I would help him and do whatever. Then he asked why is it any different then now that it is you... what an eye opener for me as it was true.

    BUT stupid how one little act can overshadow this amazing man I have. That was never me before... miss sunshine I was.

    I am having to get use to or try and change again to a new me that I like...and is not so mean at times. I feel like I have a split personality at times!!!

  • My husband doesn't attempt to understand it very much. When I was diagnosed he thought it was good news! But I think he had been thinking the worst and when the doctor said that it can take years then it maybe seemed a better outcome - or at least I hope that was what he meant.

    but your right if it was the other way around I would have researched everything and probably still have joined here to get as much information as possible. He did say a few weeks ago that he was preparing questions for the consultant at next appointment. I think maybe he was worried about upsetting me. But I would rather he asked me the questions first. If I haven't already found the answer it would maybe worth checking out.

  • I know. I keep reminding myself that they process things differently.

    When the GI said there is no cirrhosis of the liver my husband said see it's all good happy with a big smile. BUt inside I am saying ya but the other stuff is the problem and am glad there is suppose to be no cirrhosis.

  • yea that was me exactly. It still changes how you thought your life would be and I know if it was the other way around he would be kicking up a stink about changing lifestyle. At the time I couldn't understand why he thought it was good - to me good news would be getting the all clear.

  • Certainly when he was having prostate problems, I looked up so many sites I was then sent copious links for penis enlargement surgery!! I am pretty sure he's never looked up my syndrome, despite me suggesting he does. I was dx in late 1990s and my disease was fairly latent till it flared up and I began treatment around 2010/11. In that time he'd decided it had 'all gone away' as I didn't talk much about it. In a long relationship with this very kind man I have learned several survival techniques, including spell out what you need, explain medical stuff in fairly simple language, remember if a concept is complicated he will have assumed he knows what's going on and have stopped listening ...... and expect him to get the wrong end of any stick fairly often. It's a bundle of laughs here but he is only one man and he IS now trying.

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