YOU SILLY PERSON: Like many who are disabled we... - Pain Concern

Pain Concern

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Like many who are disabled we cannot do things like able bodied can do, I helped as much as I could too lift pottrey planters although I had to stop and rest.after a few mins Leaving my wife for a time, She did not stop and continued lifting with no assistance, Eventually after two hours I returned and was trying to get this trough of bogy, I slipped as I am very weak and cannot lift, and the planter struck and made a mess of Hazels foot, my wife then had to be taken to hospital with a hair fractures to a big toe. That made a very happy Easter, now I have my carer who is incapacitated,because of my stupidity trying to do what able bodied would find easy.I was tired only after a short time and could not assist. Now it is the disabled looking after the temporary infirm at a very critical time in our lives. Because we cannot trust those who are going to wreck our family home where my family has lived since 1933, so much for peaceful retirement.

So now I find ,myself in a problem of my own making, thinking I am trying too help and Iam not an able bodied person It is one of the problems of being disabled we try and compete in our own way and then reinforce that WE ARE DISABLED, and need to understand that, we have been told we are many times, we should know better, we are DISABLED, we cannot protect ourselves from a non understanding society.Where no help is available

So now we will struggle on I now know my capabilities now so I now know my failings and that has been shown to me as I am dangerous in doing simple things that many find very very easy.

Now I will look after my carer, that I have injured because we all try and live our lives to its maximum and things bite and show how silly we are to try silly simple things, we have to realize sit back and reinforce what we are. SUPRISE SUPRISE DISABLED

One thing she will be ok in a week or so, I will not do that ever again


6 Replies

Oh my word - I thought my Easter was crap. So sorry about your news. :(

Hi Bob

I can sympathise with you completely, it seems such a simple job the likes of which one has been doing for years, then what happens as you say reality comes a biting on your bum and you make for the wally squad.

I have been finding on a daily basis the things that I should be doing but am unable to do, especially at the moment as I am recovering from a bad bout of pneumonia and pleurisy and am really finding things difficult, almost wasted and if it was not for my wife and daughter I would be in God knows what state, but their help and assistance has been just amazing.

As I often say Sh1/t happens, but why always to me?

Take care and kindest regards


Bob, that is such bad luck. Just remember it could happen to anyone, able bodied too. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Its going to be a few tough weeks for the both of you, but you will get through it. And one day, some time in the future you will chuckle about it.

I'm perhaps too quick to say no to something. In the beginning of my treatment, I really was advised to do nothing and for years I have automatically said no. Now though, I've built up my stamina, worked out different ways to do things, I probably could do more.

It is frustrating realising that you just can't do what you did last year, or a few months ago. Even more so when the head is willing but the body just refuses.


Hello Bob, sorry to read about your mishap, and hope your good lady is not fretting herself into a tense state, and she is not in a lot of pain, I think footballers get this kind of injury, some one will put me right. It will slow things up, other hiccups will occur, but in the end you will get there and get settlled. It's life, and as we all know, it can change in an instant - don't be hard on yourself.

Take care...... both of you.


One of the hardest things I've found is dealing with what you call the 'non understanding society' . It's the reason you both found yourselves struggling with plant pots in the first place! You don't want to ask and be a burden. I feel the same way. Trouble is people don't offer or understand. At least you have each other for care and comfort. I had a bit of a breakdown recently with the stress of my situation and everyone in my life took to the hills! Sadly, friends only seem to want to share life's ups and ignore the downs! I've even had a friend lecturing me like I was a child. I can't speak to her since and frankly am moving towards almost complete isolation. Eeeek! I can easily blame myself for being negative and hostile when people who've seen me in pain on my knees casually ask if my back's still playing up! Gah! But am I to blame or have we lost our ability to empathise as a society.

Sending you both best wishes. I'm additionally laid up ATM with a toe fracture/4 weeks post surgery so I can sympathise on many levels with your joint predicament. Bones mend, feelings take longer but you have each other. X



Morning everyone.

Thank you all for your concern, we had too move the planters because our home seems that it is going to be compulsory purchased and were getting everything that we want to store in the garden. We have now moved some pieces of furniture and we should know by the end of this week if they are going ahead with the purchase. Then we will have to store our belongings until we know what is going to happen.

Over the last three weeks we have had to remove all plant material to our holiday home, although we are going to loose an orchard of 30 trees. because a public service is wanting too trash it all. There is no benefit to us it is for those who have not protected their own homes so we also could loose a three metre strip a hundred foot long.

I am going too loose by treatment room so I am looking into putting it in here although the property is far to small as it is a holiday cottage. I am having a hell of a time with my bathing as we will not go back to my old address.

We could end up being told to get out in a matter of days so you can imagine the pain and sorrow that is causing to the both of us.

Whatever happens our other proper will be blighted for about 8 months while this all goes ahead, it is lucky we have a place to stay as our neighbours are having to stay put as the work carries on.

It may be that we are going to have to sell our holiday home so I can adapt a property that is larger than this one.

It is unfortunate that we were not told the truth 12 months ago, so there it goes

All the very best thank you

BOB and Hazel

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