I was diagnosed with CPS in late summer of this year after repeated visits to my GP for over the past 12 months. Unfortunately I have a long physical & mental health history having been asthmatic since a toddler with many life threatening episodes. I am also a survivor of childhood-adulthood sexual & emotional abuse. I would challenge anyone to not have mental health problems had they also lived through similar circumstances. I have had several abdominal surgeries from the age of 10 culminating in a radical hysterectomy at the age of 30 after numerous miscarriages & eptopic pregnancies. During the past 17 months I have undergone numerous tests & visited 5 separate NHS Specialists with almost weekly visits to my GP, this is extremely rare for me, all my regular meds are on repeat prescription & it's more normal for my GP to ring me & ask me to visit. I am now on 8 separate medications, most of which I resent taking & the impact they, along with the constant abdominal pain I have, have/are making to my life & that of those I Love. None of the pain medication including morphine & other opiates, I have been prescribed have had any real effect on the pain, apart of course from the fact I was 'up there with Lucy' in the sky of diamonds & didn't really give 2 monkeys! For the best part of 17 months now I have been in-bed more than out of it. After having to pay to see one of the Specialists (the 'urgent' NHS appointment was for January 2013) he has agreed to perform surgery & told us that it would be treated as urgent regarding the wait. It's complicated because more than one specialist surgeon has to be involved because my case is complex & very high risk with no promise of a demise in my pain. It's a chance I am willing to take because my life seems of little or no value as I am now. I am not able to eat because it is followed by agonizing & crippling pain. The doctors all know this but are extremely reluctant to prescribe me energy shakes such as Fresiben or Ensure because I have a 'history' (which as far as I am aware means 'past' not current or future) of eating disorders. Despite my constant reassurance that I am not trying to starve myself or loose weight. As a Spiritual Pagan I believe & have such strong Faith. It is that alone that keeps me here. I just find all of it so hypercritical. I feel strongly the delay in my treatment & often the way in which I have been treated is due to the one note/word or whatever on my medical notes that states 'mental health'.
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