Win or lose

[Itwillbeok]

I have READ for over 10yrs now I have had for back surgery's and I am in pain all the time. It seems every step I take hurts. I am in stage 3 kidney failure. I have had 20 ladicain infusion. They have helped me. I go in every week for my infusions. My body doesn't fight infection off the way a normal person would fight off infection. I had a port put in a week ago and for some reason it hurts still. They still are using it but it hurts above the port. I have to deal with blood clot issues. But I might have all the problems but I am still alive and I might hurt but god only gives me what I can handle and I have it for a reason. I fight everyday someday the pain win but most days I win.

[Mary-intussuception]

God Bless

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[deejames]

Morning. I am a bit confused. There may be a typo. READ ?

You certainly have a list of problems to cope with. Unfortunately I don't k ow anything about kidney failure. Is there anything anyone can help you with on the forum ?

You seem to have a very strong and positive attitude to your difficulties. Well done.

Dee

[Itwillbeok in reply to deejames]

It was a typo it was supposed to be RSD. I am sorry about that.

[Itwillbeok in reply to deejames]

I am at the point where they can not do anything for my kidney yet. They have to get worse before they will do anything. In which they are slowly. They are going down hill but I am ok with that. They told me that in the future I might need to have a kidney transplant. I have already talk with my kids and told them they were off the table that I will not take a kidney from them. The only reason is they have kids and if some reason something happens to their kids and they need a kidney or god help nothing happens to my grandchildren but they need any kind of help from my kids I want them to be able to help them. I can not help them in any way. I can not even give blood and that kills me to help in something so small but yet so big. I can not do a lot to help I am disabled so I get nothing for money not enough to live on. I fight every day of my life to get out of bed and try to be normal as possible. I do everything myself I have doctors but they just tell me to see this person or go here. I deal with everything by myself and do not talk to anyone about my pain unless the doctors ask. I have kept it bottled up inside for about 10 years. I never had anyone who understood the pain that I was going through.

[Mary-intussuception]

Only just read this. I did wonder if you were on a waiting list for a kidney transplant. Wasn't sure if I should ask.

It's wrong that you don't have enough income to live on. You should get some support from somewhere. It is good you are so strong though.

Xxxx

[Itwillbeok in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Have to stay strong for my kids. I live on about 1000.00 a month and that's all. I just thank the good Lord they help with my medical bills. I know that things are rough but I try to look at the brighter side of things and help people who have the issue I have and help them fight this demon inside. I am not going to let it take over my body like it did for the first 7yrs . I am. Going to keep fighting everything thrown in front of me. That way my kids and grandkids know to be strong and fight also.

[Mary-intussuception]

X

[Mary-intussuception in reply to Mary-intussuception]

You must be in the US then

X

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[Itwillbeok]

I am

[Cmh59]

Are you receiving help as far as Medicaid for insurance and prescriptions? Utility and food assistance? You should go to your local Dept of Family Services for resources and referrals. I am not sure how you get yourself moved ahead on a transplant list. What has caused your kidney to fail?

[Itwillbeok]

I am getting disability for Insurance and my Prescriptions, but with that I make to much money a month which is 1013.00 a month to get help for food and utility's. So I have to pay for all of that out of my money. So I get disability but can not get help from my local Family Services because I make to much money from my disability. They are not sure what really caused my kidney to fail if it was the lidocaine or if it was the pain medication I have been on for so many years. It could be both it also could just passed down the line my father also has kidney failure and I am just following his footsteps. It could be my body just hates me and doesn't want to heal right. All I know is I am where I am and I keep fighting and I do not let things try and get me down and I try and keep smiling. I do not talk about these things with my kids and I keep things bottled up inside and I hold everything in side some days I want to explode but I tell myself what good would that do. So I just keep my mouth closed and hold my tongue and not explode I just take a deep breath and keep that smile going. I tell myself if it is my time then it is my time.