Dealing with chronic pain is tough. We all know that. And I also know about the power of positive thinking and having the right attitude. It does help immensely. But there are days where my "positive thinking and attitude" feel contrived. Forced. Phony. Some days, I just don't have it, and for the life of me, can't muster it up. And there are those days where I feel almost guilty about my condition, and that I am being an unnecessary burden on loved ones.. There are days that I let depression have it's grip on me, and not the strength to shake it off. I have days as well, where I feel angry and wonder, "why? why has this happened to me?" I have had more days like this lately than I care to admit. ..
I just found out last week when I went to the new pain clinic that I was referred to, that my left knee is almost bone on bone. Almost no cartalidge to speak of. This will unfortunately require knee replacement surgery in the not so far future... I'm scheduled for more MRI's an tests later this month. Trying to keep my head up.. But I'm just so tired mentally, emotionally and physically.
I hope this post finds others coping and doing as well as possible. And please forgive my forlorness.. It gets better.. It gets worse... And then better again. Thanks for lending your "ears".. Take care.
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JustBreathe
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Such a familiar pattern Just breathe. The better days make the bad ones almost harder to cope with. I empathise with the feeling phoney . Sometimes when I'm telling myself to relax and that the pain is ' just a passing sensation changing every second' a little evil voice is saying ' yeah right who are you kidding. This is hell and its going to be like this until you die. '
At the moment I'm holding out hope for the steroid injections I'm going to have next week. Mentally planning maybe being able to take a small walk in my beloved woods. Have sex. Watch TV sitting up. Then along comes the evil wee voice reminding me the realities and how nothing really will change.
Can you focus on having the knee replaced with a good result ? Then that's a pain that will be taken care of.
Its when one is told nothing can ever be done except pain relief and how good is that really. ?
I hope today is one of your more positive days. I am convinced that negativity produces stress and tension and increases pain. Easier said than done !
Thank God for pain meds and patches ! Yes we have Fibro but there is a really long list of diseases and problems we don't have ! We all need reminders of the many blessings God has given us and accept our limitations. We can still do things, just differently and maybe not when we want to . There is always someone that is worse off , focus on your new way of doing things accept and be the best you can be that day. Love yourself and pamper yourself.
Keep looking for ways to improve your pain levels and most important is SLEEP . Even if you need to take something ( I do), sleep !
Just re read your posting.... sending you heart felt positive vibes ... we all in it together !
Kindest regards
Nothing new to say, other than you are definitely not alone and all of that rings true. I'm having a very low day after an awful occ health apt (have just written a post about it actually) and it is some comfort to know that others feel the same. All I can suggest is trying to find something you can do to distract you from your thoughts. I craft - crochet, drawing etc) while laying in bed, and it gives me something productive despite being trapped in bed.
Nothing extra to add really to what others have posted but just wanted you to know I'm here and thinking about you.
I hope that maybe you have a beautiful tree outside your window or someone can take you out to be somewhere lovely in nature - I find this really healing, especially if funny goofy dog is involved too!
If you havent discovered mindfulness I really recommend checking out Jon Kabat Zinn on YouTube. I've found it a really powerful tool when the overwhelm starts to knock me sideways.
It's hard, hard stuff we deal with and some days will be very tough - I do so hope that today has dawned an easier day.
I agree with all of the above, my husband doesn't always understand that I can do 10 mins housework then have to sit for half an hour, it does make me feel very guilty, my daughter is a student nurse so I do have understanding from her, I just live for today and deal with tomorrow when it comes, it's the only way I get through each day.
Hope that some of you at least are having a relatively pain reduced day.
Google Fibromyalgia, go to various websites and print out info on what Fibro is and all symptoms are. This will help your husband hopefully understand better what you go thru every day. It is going to be sooooo important that your husband knows the depth of your pain and fatigue ! Print out articles that explain it best. Keep them in plain sight as a reminder to you and others !
Hi, just to say i understand how u feel completely. I get overwhelmed some days and have no energy. I have just moved in with my lovely fiancee soon to be husband. We are very happy and have a long awaited bungalow. I have 2 heart conditions and ashma so cant take anti inflamatorys so get awful painkillers which make me feel depressed some of the time. I do feel guilty as i dont want to babysit my grandchildren as im in too much pain after couple hours and just want to go home and put my legs upand rest.
I went to see my consultant today about knee replacement but they are reluctant to do it as im high risk because of my heart and lung problems. they didnt have my notes either of my recent operation on my knee to clean it out of debrie. i feel very confused and a bit tearful . The doctor seemed to want to put me off having a knee replacement making more excuses. example; they only last 10-15years . I said i may not live that long the way your talking about my heart lungs etc..
I want to say to u and others that we musent give up but keep fighting as others dont mind us as much as we do it seems..keep smiling god bless,..
I hear you. It was never going to be easy dealing with your condition. We have
good and bad days. If you feel like a phony on some days, look at why you
feel that. It's ok to not be ok, it's ok to feel pain, watch it...see it for what it is.
It's not you, it's the breaking down of the body, nature. Not everyone will have
to deal with horrible pain, but they will have to deal with the body breaking down,
slowing, ending. This is life.
Part of being here is to learn, learning for me, has been really hard! I have
had a dreadful early life - it was cruel and now I have to live with this pain!
It's a test. It's also a test in how I feel about life. I will have good days and
bad but I try to focus on the momment, even if I'm in severe pain, it will
pass and I will have some relief. If you can learn to be in the here and now
and just to notice when these feelings come up and just notice them, try not
to over think them. They are what they are. It's ok. The one thing I would like
to ask you to do, is forgive yourself. I'm sure you are doing your best to cope
and it's ok to admit that you are suffering, just try to not get attached to it.
Notice what your are a feeling, and let it go. Spending more time in nature
alone, will help you. Some things you will learn come from you, and can't
be taught. Let nature be the best teacher. Wishing you well.
I am also sick of trying to think positively. Have been having counselling, and am learning that it is OK to allow yourself to be completely pissed off sometimes, and to have a break from all the positivity, because it is so exhausting.
Screaming is also Ok sometimes (in private). it doesn't solve anything but it is a bit of release.
I've bought myself a Mindfulness colouring book and some nice pens. That's helped me focus on something else too, instead of dwelling too much on stuff. Cup of tea, colouring book, that's me sorted...
i feel the same eveyday is the same as day before its a battle living with chronic pain i dont feel normal anymore i think about the life i use to have that normal people take for granted.
the only thing that helps is reading books and playing music on my ipod
I am so sorry for the way you are feeling and am hoping you can find positiveness in the people around you. My wife quit on me when she found out my condition is progressive and inoperable. telling the doctor "so you expect me to be married to a cripple for the rest of my life" before she stormed off and left me. For over a year I have had the odd member of church visit me but other friends and neighbours no longer help or even talk to me without using derogatory remarks they learnt from my ex. You have a support network and loved ones around you and as much as the pain hurts physically and psychologically but you did not ask for the condition and should never feel guilty for it. As much as you feel you are putting on others around you I am sure they are feeling like they would do even more for you. You seem to be an eloquent person and should express your feelings to your loved ones I am sure you would be surprised by the level of support you would get. I would love to be able to swap positions with you as I truly learnt who was not true friends or married in sickness and in health.
I call it my pain rollercoaster and depression goes with it I guess but I am rebuilding from scratch you have the framework in place get the balance between acceptance of help needed and acceptance of own limitations is what I have been advised and it seems right. our minds think we can do more than our pain allows and for that you should not feel guilt. Please be positive and lose the guilt.
This is a great post, as it says so much about everything that coping deals with , and boy is it exhausting , and experience is no great helper, as everyday seems to be just that another day with dealing with it.
You've said it all better than I could ever say it, so I will just say thanks', and keep up the good fight, and give you a Hug, best Alex
It is okay to just cry and let it out . If you are not on something already, ask your doc about Cymbalta. It is indicated for Fibromyalgia. Will help with depression and pain. Accepting Fibro and learning to pace yourself and finding right mess will help. Controlling the pain and pushing thru the fatigue is key. Rest between doing things also helps. Do only those things that don't require bending ( the worst is unloading dishwasher, getting things out of dryer. You can still fold clothes, make grocery list, etc.
Keep in touch, you can do this. Ask God for strength and wisdom.
Before I had chronic pain I just thought that people with pain were just that .. the same people as they were just with pain .. little did I realise just how it effects our mind and spirit as well as the body and changes us from the people we used to be which leads to feelings of loss .Living with pain is a challenge on every level .. I have shifted from a hard working professional who was active and enjoyed life to a recluse who finds each day a challenge .. and the more I read about my fellow sufferers the more despondent I feel . .. so I know how you feel ... Chin up and count our blessing xx
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Pacing to Manage Your Pain
Does anyone know of strong painkillers that do not cause dry mouth and throat as a side effect? 
Why is every symptom put down to Fibromyalgia !
24 year old with chronic back pain and siactica
