I can see clearly

After weeks of truly gruelling away. I wake up to no pain. I lay feeling a sense of wonder. It must have been an infusion of the grandchildren yesterday.

Black cat and I bask in each others warmth. I idle for another hour not believing my luck.

Now can I train the brain to turn off the pain signals, If I don't give it any thing to fire off, perhaps it will stay asleep.

Can I heck.

After breakfast and a fix of book. Whippet and I wrap up in matching maroon outfits, for our walk. The sun shines. We meet a couple of people to shoot the breeze with. Although whippet finds this a bit much standing quietly with his teeth chattering. Meanwhile the pain levels are also quietly creeping up.

But even so I am only cooking at gas mark 2. I completely forget that I vowed to with hold stimulants from the sodding shoulder. And get caught up in the sunshine, as the garden beckons.

I tootle about snipping a monster of a teasel calling in man with a spade to dig it up.

After cake and rich strong coffee I am ready to role again. The kitchen walls get a lick and a promise. Reduced pain has allowed me to see more clearly. You should see the cobwebs. But more breath taking of all. I rediscover bits me as the fog drops way.

I cannot believe I am only still cooking at medium heat.

Today I also cannot believe I was so daft.

"The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived."

Oscar Wilde

It is truly amazing isn't it that when pain is reduced you do really feel a different person?

May we all be blessed and allowed to rediscover us for a bit.

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3 Replies

  • When my pain reduces I start to remember who I used to be..I'm not so sure that person was all that great

  • Great post Nedd. I can identify with that soaring flight away from the person with pain, back to the person of before. When that happens, be it though rarely, I wonder what the hell I have been worrying about, why planning surgery, pain management courses, why taking analgesics. Then it kicks off and my twin takes over again!

  • Not that I would wish the level of pain I have had to tolerate at times on my worst enemy but maybe it might be a good idea if other people experienced it. I know that sounds crazy but I agree you can see clearly when your pain has reduced. Pain teaches you to make the most out of life when you can. My ambition at the moment is to compete in a dance competition in march that I have wanted to do for the last 3 years but have been unable to do because of pain. My combination of pilates, chiropracter, steroid injections, TENS machine and a regular naproxen and Paracetamol are working on my back and hip pain. I have always been a very determined person and I think that has helped me on this very rocky road.

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