And they say there is no such thing as magic

I am on the edge of the pit. I know this and recognise the signs. It happens every Christmas. A combination of tiredness, pain and grief that I can't seem to keep at bay this time of year.

I drive to work wobbling like a plate of jelly and wondering how I will get through the day without collapsing. I can taste the fear and it doesn't taste of mulled wine either.

When I arrive Paul is loitering in the car park. He is off with stress and depression. I catch him in a big hug before be can escape and being a spontaneous sort embarrass him further by thrusting one of the tiny golden goody bags that I am dolling out into his hands. It contains a small torch amongst other things. "There now you will always have a bit of light" I quip.

And just saying that reminds me that the sun is always there even if it is hiding behind a bloody big cloud. I take heart, stick a smile on, and bat the ball with large numbers of children who come to play while next door is being set up for our magic show.

I am so blessed with the crew I work with from the saintly Mrs A who is certainly going to heaven to Bee who hid under the table for a bit, until I joined her, and tempted her out with the promise of a go on the computer. God it was such a relief to have an excuse to disappear under that table for 10 minutes.

By the end of the morning I can hardly stand or talk coherently. And I have to find the wear with all to last until at least 3 o clock this afternoon. But the magician has obviously thrown a bit of magic my way. And I do not fall over or burst into tears along with several children who are also finding life a bit daunting as they join my small grandson on stage for their first ever Christmas performance.

The minute I reach home I hit the sofa with whippet while man with a tooth brush. (He has been watching obsessive cleaners again, I kid you not) makes me such a strong pot of coffee it's wonder I don't wobble right of my plate with excessive palpitations.

I can't quite believe that I am safely back in my cave again. Or that the Sun did shine after all. Even if lacking any strength and needing the help of the magician to reveal itself.

I resolve not to wash my hair until January now in case I wash some of that magic dust out.

Just throwing some your way in case you should need a sprinkle.

Here catch.


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10 Replies

  • You write with such expression I feel your day through your writing.

    Much love


  • Thank you - you touched my heart. I hope you have a lovely Christmas holiday sprinkled with 'stardust' and that you find time for some relaxing lush moments.

    Can you in any way make your working day easier for yourself?

    Caught the stardust - it's sloowly falling all over and around me Ahhhh

    Love Helen

  • Thanks Helen. I always look back at Christmas with the warm fuzzy glow of contentment. It's just wading through that is the killer.

    Glad you caught the stardust hope it helps your Christmas shine brightly.



  • Hi Nedd, Well here's where I am today, it started well, my Christmas tree I put on when I got up around 6am, opened the curtains, so all the lights can be seen by people busy busy out there, the xmas tree reflects in the windows, so it's like having 4 xmas tree's. I put on the twinkly blue lights outside, and THEN...... I look out side and my white barked silver birch tree is outlined against the black sky from the lights and THEN.... I saw a nearly full moon through it's branches, with on the right and higher a big solitary star..... moments of stardust....

    WEll the reason for this post back to you is - have you tried this coconut oil every one is talking about? I've been taking it for about a week now and I feel amazing today happy and energetic!! Look it up

    All best wishes Helen

  • Magic start to your day. Thanks for sharing it.

    Do you know. One of the things that gets me through Christmas is sharing others decorations. I love gawking through people's windows and in their gardens in the hope of discovering a bit of christmas bling.

    Shall look up coconut oil. It's new to me. Thanks for the tip.



  • bless you so beautifully written, I hope that magic dust stays with you and I am going to catch some as well so thanks xx

  • What a lovely piece Nedd. May you be blessed this Christmas as you have certainly blessed mine. Thank you.

  • Thanks for zooming into my sitting room to touch base.

    End of term tomorrow. So lucky to have 2 weeks off. Step by step. Things are gradually being ticked of the Christmas list.

    HMI are in come January but I will be so glad if I survive Christmas. I shall still be fuelled by relieve. So role on Mr inspector says I.

  • just caught my share! Relax and enjoy your coffee and well done on getting through another day. Ann

  • Thanks for the pat on the back Ann. Sometimes just getting through a day needs sharpened finger nails for clinging on purposes. Its a wonder any of us manage to carve some sort of life other than moping about indoors. I used to take good health for granted. Those were the days.

    May the star dust brighten your days.



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