hello everyone - i know i have not written much in the last couple of months but have been reading all your blogs. well! i got the dreaded news yesterday that i have got a reoccurence - the last scan on 28/11 revealed "progressive disease" in my lapoctomy wound and surface of my colon. i know lots of you have had reoccurences and its something we all dread but are aware could happen, but i still cant get my head round it. the fear and helplessness has hit me 10 times greater. i have spoken to my onc nurse and she says chemo is the likely option. i need some moral support ladies- and someone to say that i can do it again and that treatment has worked for someone 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th time round. i am scared that this is all life will consist of now - occasional respite and chemo and sickness and feeling BLOODY lousy all the time. sorry ladies but i just feel like giving up and hiding in a hole. Last time I knew I had to get on with it - but this time round the thought of the yukky chemo fills me with dread and i feel that phychologically that cant help. i had surgery in january after 6 lots of chemo then two more in march. i have just gone back to work and my life had just gone back to "normality". this site has kept alot of us sane and able to air thoughts and questions that we cannot ask loved ones - please help!!!!