Hi everyone...
I have been trying to stay positive over the past few weeks but I get my CT scan / blood test results tonight at 4;30 p.m. to see if my cancer has come back.. I dont mind telling you that my hands are shaking just writing this..
Some days my stomach feels fine but then all of the strange feelings come back... and my heart sinks.
I am not a superstitious person but I cant help adding 1 and 1 together and making 300!! For example the consultant has recently moved rooms to EXACTLY the same room where I found out first time around,,,, my appointment is 4:30.. easier to give bad news at the last appointment as it takes longer... it is almost bang on 4 years since I first found out... and even worse.. I rescued a little moorhen chick which my dog picked up and it died.. I knowwwwww I'm an idiot and I know you shouldn't wish your life away but I want today over.. I am supposed to be working from home today but there is no way my brain can even think about anything other than answering a few emails..
I will let you know how I get on...
Gilly x