I just want to vent a little. I had a bad week last week and my Oncologist decided that I needed a week off chemo. This afternoon I went out for a coffee with my daughter. It was a lovely day and I was happy to be out and about in the sunshine.
We had trouble parking and I eventually found a disabled parking space. As I pulled in, a woman stopped her car alongside me and wound down her window and asked me whether I was entitled to use the space. I explained that I had advanced incurable cancer and she said that her Mum was in a wheelchair and that she needed the space. She became very aggressive and I showed her my blue badge which was displayed in my window.
Afterwards I felt really upset and just wanted to go home. My daughter persuaded me to go for a coffee and not to let this woman spoil our afternoon.
I left the car and walked towards the cafe. On the way I met the woman again pushing her mother in a wheelchair. I stopped and explained that I wasn't being difficult but that I had a genuine reason for having a blue badge. She started shouting at me in the street that her Mum needed the space and then walked off. I hope she never gets cancer.
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Welshandproud
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I am sooo sorry that happened to you. What a terrible thing when you’re seizing the moment with your daughter (which I envy you for— I may not see mine or my grandchildren til there’s a vaccine). I’m glad you were able to still have the coffee. Xx
Thank you Delia. I am so grateful that my daughter is staying with us for a bit which is lovely ☺️ I'm just so sorry that this nasty Coronavirus is stopping you seeing your daughter and grandchildren. I do hope they develop a vaccine soon.xxx
I’m sorry for that confrontation. Please be thankful for what is important - the opportunity to have an outing with your daughter on a lovely September day! (I feel sorry for that woman in the wheelchair. You surely are not the only person her very rude daughter attacked while they were out together. I’m sure she was embarrassed and felt badly.)
Thank you so much for your reply Elayne to me. You are so right. The lady in the wheelchair must have to suffer this whenever her daughter takes her out. When I go out with my daughter we always have a good laugh and not a shout. I'm very grateful 🥰
My heart goes out to you. No one really knows the battle you are fighting till they have to or know someone who does. Just like anyone else I’m sure cancer never really crossed my mind and I for sure never thought my mom, how naive. You need that spot just as much as her mom. I am glad you still went for your coffee.
Thank you Lind 58. I just felt so judged by this woman but I'm glad that I stood my ground and didn't pull out of the space where I'd just parked to let her have it. I certainly feel the effects of my cancer even if she couldn't see it when I was sitter in the car. Sending you my best wishes xxxx
Oh Sian, dont let that ignorant woman get to you please. I too had a similar experience once where Id just got into my car and the guy in the car next to mine got out and walked to the front of mine to look to see if I had a blue badge. I got out of my car and shouted I had advanced cancer and was having chemo was that Ok with him if I parked there? He at least had the decency to go beetroot red . The ignorant so and so you encountered is just that an ignorant so and so, not worth yr time or energy. I hope you enjoy many more outtings for coffee with yr daughter. Take car, big hug Kathy xx
Thank you Kathy. I'm sorry to hear that you had a similar experience too. Some people are so aggressive and they have a sense of entitlement which allows them to try to intimidate others. You did the right thing and I'm glad that he had the decency to go red. By the way the coffee and cake were delicious 😋😘😋
Do you know what? Sometimes we are just too nice. I even wonder if we get cancer because our spirit is so pi**ed off taking the cr*p that others feel quite ok about dishing out. When I was a psychotherapist I used to get people who were seeking approval all the time to practice saying “no”. Uncomfortable at first but with repetition gets easier. Some even graduated to a “f off” and felt liberated.
Sending love and hope your boundaries get strong and you care a lot less about what the gits of the world think.
Thank you for such a positive and helpful response. When I was diagnosed with cancer my headmaster at the school where I was teaching said "why does cancer always happen to nice people?' you have explained it. We give out so much emotionally to other people that there is little left for ourselves. We do indeed put up with so much c**p and this p****s off our spirit.
I will try very hard not to let the gits of this world get to me 😜
I’m sorry this woman was so rude to you, things like that are really upsetting. You had a very valid reason to be in that spot so as Artgreen says its tough luck to the other woman. She was obviously just taking out her frustrations on you. Next time look the other way and say a silent ****off under your breath! Take care x
Thank you sticky. I think I was just very shocked by this woman's aggression. If it happens again I will certainly say something rude under my breath!!!! 😁
Iam so glad you carried on with your coffee and hopefully cake . That poor lady in the wheelchair I wonder how embarrassed she was by her daughter!! hopefully she had time to reflect on her behaviour and count herself lucky to be healthy.
I do wonder whether this was a duty trip out for a quick cup of tea then back to the care home. That might explain why she was so panicked to find a space. I'll never know but I felt very sorry for the elderly mum in the wheelchair. Sending you my best wishes 🤗
What a dreadful Woman, you were very respectful to a really rude nasty person you can walk away from that with huge pride at the way you handled it. I'm really sorry it happened and I hope you have better encounters from now on. Sue xx
Thank you Sue. That's very kind of you 🤪 My daughter said at the time that we usually meet such lovely people that there's bound to be a bad egg in there somewhere!!!!
How rude! that woman had no right to judge you and decide that her mother was more worthy of the space. Whilst an encounter such as this is very upsetting I am glad you rose above it and continued your day out......she was definitely not worth missing a trip out with your daughter. I believe in Karma.......she will get hers! xx
How very rude of her, just because we don’t have readily visible issues people seem to think we’re ok.
The lady with the disabled mother may possibly have had a bad day and been at the end of her tether and you sadly got the full force of her frustrations but that’s still no excuse for rudeness.
I hope you had a nice coffee with your daughter and enjoyed the valuable time together albeit having got off to a bad start. Enjoy the lovely things we can have and try not to let the less nice ones get in the way.
Love and big hugs lovely lady, stay safe ❤️Xx Jane
Thank you Jane. Yes she seemed stressed. Perhaps her way of coping with a bad day is by taking it out on someone else. I try not to take it personally but I just felt a need to defend myself by explaining that I do have a serious illness.
The coffee and cake were delicious and my day had a happy ending. My daughter and I had a lovely time 🥰🥰🥰
That’s really upsetting On top of everything else we’re all having to deal with. However I use a wheelchair due to a neurological condition which means I cannot walk without aid and only a few yards without a wheelchair. I also have OC stage 3c. It is difficult to get out of the car without space but I don’t expect any different treatment to anyone else with a blue badge. I wouldn’t dream of being abusive like this lady was to you. Please don’t let it fester. There are a lot of people in this world who think they’re entitled to shout and scream about something trivial they don’t agree with. Most cars carrying wheelchairs are hatchbacks and it’s usually not a problem to bring the chair round to the disabled person and make sure their car door doesn’t touch the next car. I’m going on a bit here, sorry, but I really feel for you. I had a problem with a relative over the weekend over something trivial. It’s affected me for 4 days. We’re not strong enough to take abuse. Try to forget it and look forward to your next coffee with your daughter.
Thank you so much Angela. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with a neurological condition as well as OC. That must be so tough but it sounds like it hasn't made you bitter or angry towards others. You sound like a very lovely lady. I think that we become sensitive to things that at other times we might be a to brush off. I hope you are now feeling a bit better. Sending you lots of love xxxx 😘
This is horrible but you were completely in the right. She was just a selfish cow and why shouldn’t she push her mother- you had to walk! So sorry it spoilt you coffee. I remember once having to wait over 10 minutes for a parking space- when one became available I drove in. Minutes later an aggressive cow was banging wildly on my car window because she thought she was first! People are just rude and selfish- ignore and enjoy yourself. Think you should go for another coffee.
Thank you Neona. There are some very strange people out there. I'm sorry that you too had a bad experience with an angry motorist. Yes I think we'll have another coffee soon 😊
Hello lovely Welsh lady. Horrible experience. It happened to me when first diagnosed many years ago. I nipped in this parking space and a man had such a go at me. Then he went off. Saw him in town and went up to him and said it was one of my first times out and what the matter was and then whipped my wig off. Needless to say I think he was shamefaced. You had a lovely time with your daughter and that is what matters. The only thing I can say in slight justification is that maybe she was so stressed out with her mum that she behaved like that and may be now is sitting and thinking about it. Your daughter was so right and hope you are able to go and have another lovely outing with her. Take care xxx
Well done you for whipping your wig off and embarrassing the rude man. He certainly got his comeuppance!!!! Yes I hope the woman was having a bad day and that she isn't always like that.
Yes I had a lovely coffee and cake afterwards with my daughter 😜
There are some ignorant people out there.The other day I came out of a disabled loo to be greeted by abuse from a wheelchair user which ruined my outing.She didn’t give me a chance to explain that I have two stomas courtesy of OC and need to use a toilet with a washbasin in it in case I need a bag change.Not the first time that has happened.
Oh Viv that's terrible. I'm sorry that you had to go through that awful experience. There are some very strange people out there. Sending you all my very best wishes 😙
Thank you Different 🥰 No I won't let it stop me going out. I was just shaken and shocked I think by the woman's aggression. I'm glad that we went for that coffee and cake. Delicious. You take care too 🥰
Nobody knows what you are going through I only got a blue card a couple of weeks ago and parked up in disabled car park. I was getting back in my car and a woman started tutting at me and saying it’s disgusting that non disabled people use the car park.
I was very down that day after being told the cancer has spread to liver, when I got home I just burst into tears, some people are just so ignorant.
It isn’t surprising that people in genuine need for disabled spaces get challenged because I see so many disabled spaces used by people abusing the blue badge scheme.
Some places seem to have more disabled spaces than seems necessary whilst other local shops and services have too few.
The disabled person isn’t even with them and other parking spaces available. Just another example of selfish and thoughtless behaviour I’m afraid.
What a blessing you had your daughter with you.I guess some people may have to go out alone and meeting an aggressive person may have destroyed their confidence.
I have noticed now however that many disabled toilets have a notice on the door which says' Not all disabilities are visible' which may help people such as the lady you met.They need to use these signs more often these days!
Hi there, I’m so sorry your afternoon with your daughter was spoiled by this other woman’s unkindness. You most certainly did need that space and shouldn’t have to explain yourself.
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