I don't really know where to start. My mother has recently been diagnosed ovarian cancer. She had a hysterectomy and is about to start chemo next Monday. I guess everything happened so fast we haven't had a chance to process or understand what is going on.
Back story- my mum is a young 61 year old. It has always been me mummy and my sister. She is my world and my best friend, sis has a young family of her own while myself and mum still live together.
Mum is very religious and since she's been off work and healing from her Op, she spends all her time praying. I am extremely angry with God and can't even say a prayer right now. She's never smoked and barely drank all her life and I can't get my head around why this is happening to her. There has been a lot of tears and she won't even look at any information about the upcoming months. Our roles have changed as I am now mothering and having to ingest all this information and it's ALOT! I feel so helpless and angry when I look at her she's lost so much weight, my once so active superwoman looks so frail and weak and I just don't think it is fair.
I have tried to stay off the internet and carry on as normal as possible but this morning I couldn't get out of bed and I can't stop crying and thinking is this our life now. I don't cry infront of her mainly at work or in bed. I am so afraid of what is to come, I don't know what to expect and from what I have been told this really is just the beginning. I don't know if I can stay strong for my mum and I feel like I am letting her down by being so weak. Every appointment with the oncologist we get asked if we have any questions and I don't know where to start.
I do have friends who have tried their best to be there but I don't think I've had a full nights sleep in over 2 3 months and when I do sleep I have horrible nightmares and I end up staring at the wall all night. I don't want to feel like a burden.
So I guess my question is what do I need to know about Chemotherapy, what questions should I be asking at these appointments? It's all come around so quickly and I feel unprepared
(Apologies for my rambling on)