Counciling: I've just had another arduous meeting... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome
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I've just had another arduous meeting with my insensitive boss today. What she seems to have in common with a number of people I've spoken to with complete honesty - about my sense of the lack of a future ahead of me, something I grieve for and cry about - makes her suggest I approach Occupational Health. I'm being realistic - no amount of therapy is going to give me the guarantee of a cure or even a longer life - I feel that they want me to learn how to rein myself in and not upset THEM. I am unrepentant. I'm not even remotely depressed or upset, but I certainly feel misunderstood.

2 Replies

Gah, not what you need right now, is it?

Work tends to be a strange place in that regard. Although I am quite open about my cancer with my boss and team, I generally try to keep the tone upbeat. At age 49, I can't afford to alienate my income source to a point where they would not trust me to handle my job anymore ;). But letting them know the broad context gives me a bit of leeway to stick to normal work hrs and some such. That said, I did find occupational health to be quite understanding and helpful e. g. to allow a phased start back into a fulltime job.

The best places for laying out fears and despair though seem to be support groups or councelling for me.. or my husband... not so much colleagues.

Do you have a Maggie's centre nearby? Or another local support group? That could help. Or maybe you simply need more time before returning to work, especially if your boss is a source of worry and not very sympathetic?

Trust me, you will eventually dig yourself out of this black hole, even if it looks bleak right now, and not mind the distracted co-workers so much. Xx. Maus

Hello, like Maus, I'd find others with whom you can share the feelings of grief for the loss of what was a healthy life and feelings of fear and anxiety of facing a future which seems so daunting and scary. As Maus suggests, work colleagues are there to earn their living and although an occupational therapist cannot 'reverse' our prognosis, talking to people who have both the skills to understand and also be practical may prove useful. Many of us have found that, so hope you do too.

Warm wishes for today. Lesley

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