New mom & scared of surgery: I’m new to this site... - My Ovacome

My Ovacome

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New mom & scared of surgery


I’m new to this site, with a new baby boy (3 boys all together) & newly diagnosed w/ ovarian cancer. I have my hysterectomy coming up next week & am so scared. I’ve had 2 c-sections & a laparoscopic surgery in the past. Each time I’m scared but seem even more so this time w/ a 3 month old baby boy. I’m always afraid something terrifying will happen during surgery & I won’t wake up. Can anyone help reassure me this is very unlikely to happen? I know it is but my brain won’t allow me to believe it - I am anxiety ridden! Also, just an anxious person in general. Help :-(

25 Replies

Hi Julie, welcome to our group and I'm so sorry you've had to join us. The way you need to look at it, is that these very experienced surgeons and anaesthetists are doing this all the time, so you will be in very capable hands. It's understandable you're anxious, but you have to put your faith in them, as they know what they're doing and before you know it you will be waking up in recovery. This is a very difficult time for you right now and having very young children will raise your anxiety levels even more, but you will be fine lovey. Massive hugs to you, Kerry xx

Thank you for responding Kerry 💖 all valid points. Love & hugs back 🤗

Hi Julie. Welcome to this forum - lots of help here & other mums with younger children. Your team have a plan & they are experts in their field. They will look after you every minute that you are under anaesthetic. We all wish you well, as we know how daunting (but necessary) the surgery is. Linda 🌺

Thank you Linda! 🌸

Surgery is very scary. Prior to my own debuking experience I was so anxious my heart began to palpitate and they had to give me a beta blocker to get it to stop. I am sure that the anxiety I had was not helpful either to me or to the procedure. Trying to stop being anxious is not an easy thing to do. As you yourself have stated, you know the likelihood of not waking up is not great but your rational self is not able to conquer your fear. You are asking for reassurance which can be given but ultimately this is an emotional experience and even if we know something to be true it does not always mitigate our anxiety. Perhaps you can ask for something to take to calm down prior to the surgery. I have started to do this even before finding out the results of CT scans and it does the trick for me. Be sure to post after your surgery (which will be the case)!

Thank you for responding! I do take Ativan for panic attack’s & will take one prior, not sure if it will help but worth a try. 😆 I will keep ya’ll posted! 💖

Hi Julie and welcome!

A couple of years ago there was another young Mum on here diagnosed while pregnant. She posted recently that she is doing really well and her little boy is growing up...they are enjoying their lives. Yes what you are facing is rubbish and not what you want at all as a new Mum but you will get through, you are tougher than you think xx

Do you happen to know her name? Would love to chat w/ her if possible. Thank you for the kind words! 💖

Julie, I know someone diagnosed with a youngish baby - can't remember the full story (chemobrain is real) but she's not on here, you don't do Instagram do you as we are friends on there...

Other than that even I had a moment of fear pre-surgery, I think its not that unusual to have that fear, I know my husband does. Can you try meditation tapes, and perhaps ask to talk to the anaesthetist days before rather than on the day, and tell them your fear. Most are pretty good. I'll also say they usually given you like a pre-med which will calm you anyway before they put you to sleep. You could also ask if you're allowed to listen to music through headphones as you go down to theatre, they may not allow but worth asking/considering...Not sure if that helps but it may. xxx

I do have Instagram! My name is *gypsyjewls* on there. Thank you for the advice & kind words. 💖

Hey Julie, I’ve just sent her a message & followed you myself. Her name is @lounatic she’s lovely! A real gym bunny which is why we connected not that I’ve seen the inside of a gym for a while 😔💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼Soon...!! #goals

Lol, thank you!

Hi Julie, Glad you found us I had surgery like most of the ladies on here I was a bit anxious funny thing is I just wonted them to cut this beast out my surgeon did put me at ease, I felt that I was in good hands and I'm sure this will be the case for you.

Having such a young family does put that added stress on you, its easy for me to say try and be positive, you will have a very experience team looking arfter you.

Take care keep in touch ..Lorraine xx

Thank you! 💜🌻💜

I was so ill before my surgery I just wanted them to get on with it- otherwise I would have been out of my mind with fear. I actually woke up 3 days later as apparently I had not been ready to wake up at the proper time- I was fine however although a bit freaked out by this. Since then I have had a few minor operations and woke up very quickly . After the big op I had a few complications but little pain and felt I recovered quite quickly. Wishing you the best of luck with your op and a speedy recovery.

3 days?! Why did it take that long? Glad you are ok 💖

Apparently I wasn't showing the right signs so they put me back under. I had a 7- hour op so suppose I had a fair bit of anaesthetic and they operate with your head low so I think you get some swelling. I did have some weird dreams for a few days and thought I was hanging upside down when I woke up!

Hi Julie

Welcome and I’m so sorry that you have had to find us at such a young age. This is a big operation, but it’s usually straightforward and more than doable. You will need lots of help with your children especially in the first few weeks. It’s perfectly normal to be anxious about facing such a huge surgery , but shortly afterwards , believe me all you will feel is relief that the mass is Gone.

Take care xxx

Hi Julie. That‘s been a massive shock I‘m sure.

I understand your anxiety but trust me, you will be well looked after for the surgery and wake up feeling better for getting rid of the unwanted tissue.

Take it one step at a time, and insist on suitable support or relief until you feel ok to have the surgey. For me, it is often a dormicum or similar ‚couldn‘t care less‘ drowsy/comfy/calmy pill prior to surgery that does the trick.

Your little one will be waiting for you to wake up.

We‘re here to support you. Hugs.


Hi Julie, so sorry that you've had cause to join the forum... its such a shocking thing to deal with that fear is incredibly natural. Please don't feel like you have to shoulder it alone, you should have a CNS (nurse) to contact and your GP may keen to help in the run up to the operation. You can also call the fantastic helplines which are run by Ovacome, Target Ovarian Cancer or Macmillan and are staffed by professionals.

When I had my op, the aneasthetist was great and went through everything the night before, as well as helping with medication just prior to the op.

There are a couple of guides which may be of help too... one is specifically for 'Younger Women' (created by all of the main charities with a lot of input from women who have all been in similar circumstances to you just now) and the other is a general 'What Happens Next?' for all women newly diagnosed... you'll find links to both of the guides here:

Depending where in the UK you are, it may be worth speaking with both Ovacome and Target Ovarian Cancer as I know both charities have supported women with young children and it may be that they are able to put you in touch... hopefully even with someone nearby.

Wishing you hope and strength, Sxxx

Thank you 💖 I’m actually in the US, didn’t initially realize this was a UK forum. 😆

O no please don't worry... there are lots of women from all over the world who post here and you are very welcome. I'm sorry for assuming- usually I do try to check first!

You'll still be able to download the guides and I'm sure that most of what's in them will be exactly the same! The guides don't just focus on the medical stuff but are much more holistic in recognising the impact of the diagnosis and treatment. Keep posting here as there's lots of good sense, experience and kindness.... and you may also find it helpful to join the Share Ovarian Cancer forum here on HealthUnlocked as they may have additional advice and support which is US based, Link here:

Best wishes, Sx

The thing that's great about forums like this is whilst some of the way healthcare is structured might be different, the experiences of women and their families are similar the world over!

I was diagnosed in 2012 aged 39 and my team at the time were treating a younger woman who had been diagnosed whilst pregnant. She and her child are doing really well! Sx

Hi Julie— I think my picture is next to the word anxious in the dictionary. After diagnosis I took a class in mindful meditation which really helped calm the nerves. Also at least in the U.S. the an anesthesiologist comes to see you prior to surgery and really helped calm my fears. Perhaps you can ask to see him/ her beforehand for a chat. I am sure you are in great hands and wishing you luck and a smooth operation

Oxox Judy

Hello Julie, am so sad you are here with us but please rest easy that you will be in good hands for your op and will come out of it with hopefully "Optimal Debulking". Just remember to take it as easy as possible after your op, and take good care of you. Wishing you all the very best x x

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