Log in
My Ovacome
11,225 members13,622 posts

Hello Everyone

Two months have passed since my beloved sister Dana passed away. I am slowly coming to terms with her loss but often find myself overwhelmed with the senselessness of it all and how quickly she succumbed to the disease. Dana was diagnosed in February 2017 at Stage 4and had followed the all too familiar pattern of going back and forth to her GP with vague symptoms, pain in her side (a scan was performed but nothing showed up); intermittent bowel problems (told it was IBS) and a persistent cough which was diagnosed firstly as a chest infection and then asthma when in reality she had fluid on her lung. Her swollen abdomen was largely ignored by her GP who just shrugged her shoulders and said it was probably linked to the IBS. I feel so sad for what she went through, following her diagnosis she was referred to the radical surgeon at Hammersmith and within two days of her first appointment was in surgery but was only able to have her omentum removed which was “caked with tumour”. The cancer was spread like a “pearl necklace” across her large and small bowel and chemo was arranged. Weekly Taxol was arranged but she suffered an allergic reaction and after two weeks this was abandoned and she went on to the three weekly carboplatin and Taxol. Five cycles in and she developed neutropenic sepsis as her bowel was intermittently blocking. After 8 nights in ITU she was moved to an oncology ward and the plan was to do a diverting colostomy as there was a high suspicion her bowel would perforate and that is what happened before the colostomy could be performed. Following emergency surgery in July she developed a fistula and no further chemo or surgery could be offered, it was just a matter of time and the doctors told me that had she been 20years older they would have let her go at the time of the perforation and the surgery was palliative to give her some extra time (she survived four months). What really hurts is that she had no quality of life during those four months as her fistula was high output and the cancer caused persistent vomiting to the point where everything she ate came back up and in effect she wasted away. Those last few weeks were horrendous but she never complained or said “why me”, I never saw her cry she said she felt “cheated out of her retirement” and “it is what it is”.during her final week she was mainly ina twilight state but when she was awake she gave me all the details for her funeral from the type of casket, the flowers, music, pall bearers, where to hold the “shindig” after as she called it and even the time of day “so people have time to get there”. I thank her for teaching me that optimism and hope can get you through the toughest of times and I remain in awe of her dignity, stoicism and bravery.

My sister suggested I have my ovaries removed, although her BRCA test was negative my GP felt this was a belt and braces option and agreed to refer me and this was done in September, I have also submitted myself for bowel screening and a mammogram.

I will continue to follow this group and wish you all the best for your journey and the best outcome possible.

14 Replies
oldestnewest

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. OC is so cruel. I lost my super fit 77 year old mum just 4 months after diagnosis. Your sister sounds a very brave lady. The pain does not go away but you learn to live with it. Take care of yourself.

Reply

Oh dear, so sad to read. I too lost my dear and only sister to lung/brain cancer 8 years ago and I still miss her. I miss the fact we didn't get older together, she was 58, and the times we couild have had, yet I cherish the memories and times we did enjoy, and sometimes sorrow for the times we disagreed, it was all the pattern of our lives. I now have ovarian cancer and wish she was here as she wouild have been the easiest person to talk to it about, I don't like sharing too much with kids and hubby because I don't want to see them sad, but she would have been a a great support. You are still grieving and will for a long time, but eventually I do hope you can focus on your happy times together and gain some strength from your sisters stoism and dignity. I offer my sincere condolences and you will be in my thoughts and prayers xx joanie

2 likes
Reply

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your sister was a brave lady and an inspiration.

Reply

I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I have lost my wife a year ago, after 4 years plus of OC stage 3C and during the final months of her life she experienced what you have described about your sister. The good thing that came out of it was that her O&G Oncologist warned us about our daughters, we have three daughters in early twenties, to have regular check up. (My wife's mother also died of OC). We did just that with our local O&G for yearly/half yearly screening such as blood test, tumor marker and ultrasound. And my eldest daughter is even thinking of removing her ovaries and breasts when she reaches 40+, to follow the footstep of one famous actress she said.

Take care. Greetings from Malaysia.

6 likes
Reply

I’m so so sorry about your sister. This is a horrible disease. You were there for your sister and obviously love her very very much. She’s sleeping now. No more pain. She sounds so brave.

Big hugs to you xxxxx

Reply

It’s so shocking to read the complete history of your sister’s illness for of course we were reading it bit by bit as you posted what was happening, but I do remember how quickly it all happened. It’s such a shame her GP seemed unaware of the symptoms of ovarian cancer. Perhaps take round some leaflets you can get from most of the ovarian cancer charities.

After my diagnosis my sister also went for investigations and it was discovered she had two dermoid cysts. They told her that normally they would just remove the cysts but because of my diagnosis they thought it wiser to remove the ovaries completely.

It's still early days and your emotions are still raw. Take care now,

1 like
Reply

So sorry to hear about your sister, it sounds pretty horrific for you all. But she is at peace now. I would think it wise to get braca test and even go as far as having hysterectomy just in case. Hope every day you will feel stronger and more able to cope best wishes

Reply

You were such a supportive sister, hold on to that ❤️

1 like
Reply

So sorry for your loss x

Reply

We feel your loss and we're here to support you. Keep strong for her and your whole family xx

Reply

Seavccg, Your post is heartbreaking. The undetected pattern of your sister's disease parallels mine with the exception that mine was detected at stage 3C in the ER. Thank you for sharing your sorrow here with us. We understand what you are experiencing. Losing her this way is truly an unnecessary tragedy. I too am not BRCA positive, however, I am a breast and ovarian cancer survivor. Follow your own health hypervigilantly because there are more unknown genes that cause cancer than the few we know about. Spread the word about this hideous disease, raise awareness and allow yourself ALL your feelings. It won't take the pain of your loss away, but it will bring you a measure of JUSTICE.

1 like
Reply

I am so sorry for your loss and to read the full story is truly heart-breaking. Early diagnosis really is the key and it baffles me how often even the well-known symptoms like bloating are overlooked by doctors. It sounds as if your sister had come to some sort of acceptance of the disease towards the end of her life, I think it is harder for those who are left to get to this point. I hope that in time you will think of her as she was before illness got hold of her, and remember the happy times you shared, sisterhood is a special experience not everyone has and she was blessed to have you by her side in her time of need.

Hugs to you

Madeline xx

1 like
Reply

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. It sounds like she was a wonderful woman......and, she was so fortunate to have you for her sister. The bond between sisters is so special. My sister would take my cancer from me if she could.

I hope time will take some of the pain away from your loss, even though I know you will always have that empty spot in your life. I really believe we will be reunited with all our loved ones in the next life.

I am thinking of you and your family, and I wish you the best.....Judyved

Reply

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's gonna take some time to heal be kind to yourself and God bless you and your family xx

Reply

You may also like...