When I was with my kids on a cruise in the summer holidays( on a reduced dose of Niraparib) I gradually became more and more anaemic. At my previous scan I had not been given brilliant news...and I had had a dream/evening fantasy that I was either going to die on Nov. 30th (17) or to live for quite a long time. I think the rationale for this was, for the families sake I wanted the funeral and whole kaboodle over by Christmas!! Could also be my obsession with planning(!)
Anyway, whilst feeling pretty ill I told my 14 year olds in a fairly jokey fashion as I wanted them to think I might well live a long time! And it was obvious to them that I could not do as much as I would have liked.
I did share this with a very limited people on this site but did not put it on a public post.
Anyway, as you can see Nov 30th has come and gone and I am still very much alive! As the date got nearer, I did confess to the limited no of people I had told that I thought I would survive the date....and laughed a bit with them at my attempt to super-plan.
The weird thing was that on Nov. 30th early in the morning I was sick...this continued most of the day....,driving to have my blood test for chemo the next day I was sick in the car several times and had to turn for home. The chemo was delayed till the pm the following day, in order for me to have another blood test and the next day I felt fine. I assumed...and still do think this is true.. I .had eaten something odd the day before...possibly too many flax seeds for which I have developed quite a taste...
However, post chemo(weekly taxol) my evening meal and a few hours watching tv I was violently sick again. To cut a long story short...being unable to retain any fluid or anti sickness medication I ended in in hospital, transported by emergency ambulance at 3 00am to be re hydrated...no real temperature or any other symptoms and was there for only 14 hours. Veins very collapsed due largely to lack of fluid...but luckily the super kind and amazingly efficient dr's and nurses were eventually able to find one to insert a drip. Was left in my clothes because I felt so ill. Came to sufficiently on the cancer ward to see my oncologist at the foot of the bed, saying she thought it was probably a virus....I still think it might have been too many flax seeds!!.
However, am posting this today as I have had more chemo and am (relatively) fine. The whole story has given us something to dine out over Christmas and my kids now think I will live quite a while...hope that works ouT.
However, is just a bit of a cautionary tale....am not sure I will try to plan so much in the future. Take care all of you, watch the alternative foods and have as good and peaceful Christmas as this disease allows....I really appreciate all of you on this site/forum. Much love and many hugs, Chris xxx