Will it get better

[Friscok12]

I am in such a mess after being told my cancer is back after just finishing chemo in feb I just think about dying it's in my head all the time does this get better only found out Wed on letrozole tablets to soon for more chemo xxx

[CallmeMum]

Hi lovely,

I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel, it might be far away at the moment but there will always be options open at the very most you will be classed as platinum resistant because it's been less than 6 months since chemo. Seek a second opinion and find out what's next from here xx

[Choski]

You know I've had some bad times and set backs recently and also found my early recurrence hard to deal with- however I still am positive, I have a treatment plam - weekly taxol and I still find joys every day in different things,. It's probably too soon for you to come to terms with this yet, BUT you will do I promise you.

Don't be too hard on yourself. After my cancer induced strokes I thought I was going to die very shortly and I was very very sad but I managed to see that I still woke up each day and slowly taught myself to speak again.

I found that it helps me immensely to ' live in this moment' not to look to later on in the day or tomorrow let alone next week.

I do hope You will find joy and peace again, sending you love and virtual hugs ((X))

Clare xx

[Friscok12 in reply to Choski]

Thank you

[triplets]

Listen to Clare.......she gives us all hope, make tomorrow better than today......you will be out of that tunnel before you know it . xx

[Lily-Anne]

Could you not try a different chemo? I've had the doom and gloom news this week and am not sleeping too well. I am thinking about what's going to happen next so have written letters chose a plot even a fancy coffin lol. I'd like to think I've got plenty of time ahead of me but the peace of mind of being organised means I can crack on with a treatment plan and enjoy my time however long that may be. I wish you all the best in finding your happy place

LA xx

[85live4ever]

Hi Friscok, I was gutted when I was told it was back third time in 2 years. It's very normal to start having morbid thoughts but they will pass. When I have dreadful thoughts I call my daughter in law if she is working I call my son or get on here. One very strange thing that does help a little is stuffing my face with chocolate!!!

How long do you have to wait till they can start chemo again? I hope this question doesn't sound silly but could they offer you surgery? Maybe ask for a second option.

This tablet Letrozole is it like a chemo but in tablet from?

Also have you had genetic testing yet?

Sorry for all the questions but I just wondering if more can be done that just waiting till you can have more chemo. Take care Cindyxx

[Friscok12 in reply to 85live4ever]

They trying to get me past the 6 mounths Mark before more no surgery for reaccurance and all negative genes just hoping these tablets keep it from spreading before more chemo allowed just finished carbo taxol in feb is cause she said 2 years Max that worrys me xxx

[85live4ever in reply to Friscok12]

Hi Friscok, please don't listen to how long she thinks you have that's guess work. I was given 6 months with chemo. My surgeon looked down on the floor just wouldn't give me any eye contact & said I had 6 months if I was lucky. How wrong was he 2 years 2 months later I am still here. No one knows the future.

This tablet could be the answer & work let's hope it does if not see what other tablets you could try while waiting for more chemo. Please stick in there. Take care Cindyxx

[Friscok12]

Worried

[January-2016-UK]

I recurred quickly too and am currently on a trial. Why not seek a second opinion. It's strange you were told two years, there are just so many variables possible in that length of time. I think if the prognosis is a few weeks to a few months it is more likely to have a greater degree of accuracy.

Is professional counselling available? I think it might be a good idea to take it, you've had a lot to take onboard and dwelling on some future death, whenever that might be, is going to marr your enjoyment of life.

Listen to what Clare has said, "live in the moment." You are still the same you as you were the day before your diagnosis. Take care. We are here for you.

[minard]

Yes, January-2016 is right. I know that you Friscok are at the Western in Edinburgh. I asked to see the on-site onco-psychologist when I was at the most worried stage after my recurrence. She helped me hugely to get everything in perspective again. It's not so much counselling, more support to understand your fears, face them, and to recognise why you're thinking like that so that you can get to a place where you are more in control. Clare's point about living-in-the-moment is the best advice. Just call the CNS on Monday - they're there to help when you feel like this x

[maz54]

Hi Friscok and nothing much to add to what the other ladies have said really - only that I can fully understand how frightening it all is! I recurred the first time after only 8 months and I can still remember the fear I felt as if it was yesterday!

For me it was the realisation that cure was now out of the question - I'm now about to start 4th line in 3 years so I fully understand that chances are I ain't gonna make old bones! But then again no one knows how long any of us have - like Clare says I try to enjoy each day and not be too hard on myself if I'm having a moment ( or ten )!

It's absolutely okay to be upset and a bit maudlin sometimes - took me a hell of a long time to accept that!

So sending love to you and to all of us here who are struggling a bit at the moment - keep the fight! !!

Love Maz xxx

[Katmal-UK]

Hi. I was told I had a couple of years to live just after initial dignosis and at my first scan mid chemo my nurse said it will come back and it will shorten your life, well despite 2 recurrences I'm now in my tenth year, currently working fulltime, Ned and on a trial drug. So yes it can get better, I find living for the here and now helps. who knows whats round the corner? we just returned (last sunday) from a holiday in Tenerife, hubby had a slight cough, thought it was a chest infection, went to see out of hours dr, diagnosed with a virus. Went to work Monday feeling ok, came home, felt unwell and was blue lighted to hospital by ambulance a couple of hours later with pneumonia and sepsis..... see you just dont know. I hope you manage to find some way to deal with your thoughts and feelings, maybe counselling would help. Big hugs, Kathy xxx

[Di16]

Hi Friscok, I think Minard's suggestion about the hospital's onco-psychologist sounds like a good idea, as you seem so worried & panicky. It is hard at first to get to accept recurrences, but it is not the end of the world, even though it seems to be. My last recurrence showed up on a scan after 3 months only, & it was scary at first. But 4 years later I'm still here. I haven't had Letrazole, but I've had similar hormone tablets. I had very little in the way of side effects. I felt that something was being done to try to fight the cancer, & in a gentler way than chemo, & it was perhaps easier to feel well & calm than on chemo. I hope you are soon able to get the help you need to feel less worried & frightened. Di

[thesilent1]

When you first get told, it's a real shock to the system, almost like being diagnosed all over again. It did take me a while to lift myself out of that feeling if dread. Good news is though that I did it and you can too. You might need help in the form of counselling, joining a local support group, art therapy group, whatever takes your fancy but remember you can get your positive hat back on again, it will just take you a little time.

I am currently attending an Art Journalling class once a month at a local cancer charity and one of the exercises we had to do was to write I AM in the middle of the page and then around it we had to write who we are eg, in my case, wife to Stuart, mother to ... Mother in law to .... Grandmother to ...., a good friend, loyal, positive (most of the time), etc etc, on mine I also did some starting with Not eg Not a statistic. This really focused my mind. All my things were written in different colours and I really enjoyed doing it. Perhaps you could start by having a go at this yourself, having something eise to think about for a while might help you. Ann xx