My fellow for my Dad please - *Prostate Cancer*

Hello lovely ones

My OC journey aside, some of you may know we lost my darling Mum to primary metastatic liver cancer 4 years ago.

It seems the big C has now reared its ugly head again within our small family, but this time for my beloved Dad. An otherwise super fit and healthy 78 year old (he honestly looks 10 years younger) was diagnosed today with Prostate Cancer following a number of PSA tests (which were 30 & 26 respectively) & biopsies. His Gleason score is 8 (3+5) and for now, that is all I know. He is to have CT & bone scans in the next fortnight to check for spread to his lymph nodes and bones.

To say we, as a family, are shocked to our core is an understatement, as the loss of our wonderful Mum has been almost too much to bear for us all. And now this. I was just wondering if there is something similar to this wonderful site for Prostate Cancer that anyone knows of?

Thank you in advance.

Jemima xx

66 Replies

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  • Hi

    Bummer news for you and your Dad. Heart goes out to you.

    There is a prostate site like Ovacome. If l press the nine dot symbol at the top of the page it gives an option to browse other communities. Sorts them on alphabetical order. Scroll to p and choose your site.


  • Thanks Fay, I'll do that x

  • V sorry to hear this. There is a lot of it about amongst the men and some doctors are known to say that most men with die WITH it rather than of it. So try to stay positive. My husband had treatment for it 10 years ago with a Gleeson score only a bit lower.

    Especially in older men they often take a watch and wait approach. It depends on what the tests show show about how fast growing it looks. My son was telling me this morning of a friend's father who is on his 5th line of chemo for it. Do not despair!

    Put prostate into the Search box top right and press return and you'll find at least 3 HU communities. There is also the excellent

    Best of luck to you all. x

  • Thank you Hun. Gosh it's like that steam train has hit all over again. We are keeping everything crossed for his scan results but his team believe it's fairly aggressive 😞 They have also said they wouldn't operate...if its localised they'd more likely offer radiotherapy. Time to put my medical hat back on and swat up on this latest strain of this bastard disease 😑 Xx

  • Steam train is right.... but just think what a head start you have on the swotting up as a result of your and your mum's experiences....

    Funny way to think about it, I know, but I read a book to mug up when it hit us first off. And felt very at sea!

    Good luck

  • Oh Mrs A I am so sorry to hear that!

    I have no wisdom to help but I am sending lots of virtual hugs! My Dad is under supervision for it at the minute as his PSA was fluctuating but it seems to be fine at the minute with no evidence of any disease! I do know that it is very treatable so fingers crossed the medical team will be able to offer choices to your dad and the rest of you that will not be too severe on you all.

    My thoughts are with you all!


  • Thanks's that horrible word 'aggressive' that's upsetting me. Most of what I've heard about PC is that it is very treatable...but is that also the case if his body is riddled with it? I'm not so sure 😞 My lovely Dad is a whole different kettle of fish to my Mum so I'm not sure how he's going to take all of this. 5 years on from Mum's diagnosis and I feel like we're at the precipice once again 😒 Thank you for your kind words and thoughts and I pray you're dad continues in his good health xx

  • My husband has stage 4 PC, so we are both battling together. PC is treatable and even if aggressive as is my husbands form, there are many treatments out there. I find the prostate forum is very good.

    Have strength


  • Thanks Teresa, although I'm sorry to read you and your husband are both battling together. I hope you are both doing ok and thank you for taking the time to respond xx

  • Hi Jemina, I am so sorry for you & your family that's devastating news. I hope you can find a prostate cancer site that's as excellent as this one. My prays go with you & your dad take care Cindyxx

  • Thank you Cindy, appreciate it xx

  • Hi Jemima,

    I can't offer any advice but my thoughts go out to you,having lost both my parents I know how you are feeling.

    However,the other ladies offer good advice and things aren't as desperate as they first seem,


    Carole xx

  • Thank you Hun xx

  • Hi. So sorry to hear this. Life can be cruel sometimes. I just wanted to send a big hug to you😘

  • Thank you Chris...hug very much appreciated xx

  • What devastating news for you and your family. Will it never end you must be feeling. You sound a very loving family so I'm sure you'll all rally round to help. I know nothing about prostate cancer but I have read that as Mac27 says, many men do not die FROM it, but WITH it.

    If you click on My Communities you can search for other communities on health unlocked. There seem to be at least four, one of which from the title appears to be for women worried about their men folk. I've not looked at any of them, but hopefully at least one of them may be of help to you and your Dad at this time.

    All the best Jemima! Helen

  • Thank you Helen...yes I've read that too...I'm just praying that also goes for the aggressive type and of course, we don't even know if it's spread yet 😞 Worrying times x

  • Some people get more, much more, than their fair share of s*#}t. I'm so sorry this has happened. Wish I could say something that might help but I just can't. I'm sending you my very best warm wishes.

    Take care - just knowing he has you around should be a plus for him...

    Xx Netti

  • Thank you Netti - appreciate your kind words xx

  • The prostrate online community on Macmillan is quite good.

    Really sorry to hear about your dad. Big hugs

    LA xx

  • Thanks LA - yes had a look at that already xx

  • So sorry to hear about your Dad, sending a big hugs and lots,of love



  • Thank you Karen xx

  • Oh Jemima πŸ™ I have little knowledge of prostate cancer so don't have any words of wisdom, other than to agree with the other ladies who have observed that it is something that many men die with, but not from. My dad is in remission from an aggressive bladder cancer, and his specialist gave him a similar view.

    I hope all the scans in the next couple of weeks give a clearer picture and that once the treatment plan is in place you can all feel more comfortable about what's ahead.

    Thinking of you xxx

  • Thank you Hun, appreciate it. I hope your Dad has continued good health xx

  • I am thinking of you at this difficult time x

  • Thanks Hun x

  • He and or you should join the Advanced Prostate Cancer and the Prostate Cancer Network here on healthunlocked....and, also do a read through on the Prostate Cancer nonprofit,

  • Thank you lovely dad doesn't use the internet but when I see him I share what I can with him...thanks for the suggestions

  • So sorry to hear you have more on your plate Jemima. Hopefully you can find a group to support your Dad.

    My work colleague was diagnosed with PC just before I went for my surgery. His numbers were extremely high and he was weeing blood. He was told it was very aggressive and one Doctor spoke in a very negative manner to him.... told him he had three years. However when he then spoke with his actual team it was a different story! They told him there were things to be done and this was nonsense would you believe.

    He then had radiotherapy and hormone injections for several months to shrink the tumor. The tumor was found not to have spread....apparently it goes to the bones. This was great news. He then was in hospital for four days for really high dosages of radiation.... then the tumor core was removed.

    He is now back at work with a much better outlook. He is very tired but doing okay.

    I hope things go as well as can be for your Dad x

  • Thank you very much for sharing this. I was party to every stage in my Mum's diagnosis & treatment but this time round my sister is taking charge as her & Dad are now over 3hrs away from me, so I'm finding it difficult not being in control & not having all the info. We're keeping our fingers & toes crossed it hasn't spread (been told it mainly spreads to lymph nodes and bones, hence the planned scans) in which case, radiotherapy should hopefully help. He's started hormone therapy today as I now know, his form of cancer feeds off testosterone making it grow quicker. It's like being right back at square one on the learning curve!

    Appreciate you taking the time to respond xx

  • I can imagine you're finding it difficult to be far away at this difficult time.... but I am sure he will still feel your support even when it's not physical.

    All the best Jemima x

  • Thinking of you and sending a virtual hug,take care Pam x

  • Thank you Pam, hug gratefully received xx

  • So sorry to hear this Jemima. Thinking of you x

  • Thank you Rachael...hope things are a bit easier for you xx

  • So sorry jemima ... sending support and huge hugs life certainly throws us curve balls β€οΈπŸ€—πŸ€—β€οΈ

  • Thank you Hun...yes it certainly does πŸ˜• Hope you're well? Xx

  • I empathize with your shock and dismay at this news. However, there are incredible non invasive therapies to manage/cure this cancer! Please look into targeted Proton Therapy. This is a highly precise radiation with very little downside and does not leave devastating side effects.

  • Thank you Hun I'll certainly look into that. Hope you're doing ok? Xx

  • Yes, I am quite well right now. Actually reclaiming my life. Almost scary to not need any treatment at the moment. Hope you are well too.

  • Yes I know what you mean. I think it's only natural to be cautious about feeling 'well'! I'm doing good far so good πŸ™πŸ» X

  • Sending hugs Jemima. Xxx

  • Thank you...always happily received πŸ€— Xx

  • So sorry to hear about your dad.

    My brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer about 3 years before I was.

    He did so well and coped so well that when I was asked if there is anyone in our family who has cancer I said no!

    He just got on with it and is still enjoying a full life.

    That was about 10 years ago .

    Take care xxx

  • Thank you Hun & sorry to hear your brother has also faced this challenge πŸ™ But glad to read he's coped so positively. 10 years is a great milestone...I hope there are many more of those for him & us all xx

  • I know -he is just fantastic .He was just in his fifties too when diagnosed.


  • Oh what a bummer..........I HATE cancer. I lost my Dad to it in 2000, 3 weeks from being diagnosed with primary stomach. BUT...............treatment for prostate has come a very long way, I read an article on it and it said it is now one of the most treatable. In the community where I live I have heard nothing but "my husbands jus been diagnosed with prostate cancer"........there just seems to be so much of it around. They have all been diagnosed at different stages but all I have heard when I ask is "oh he`s alright now he`s had the treatment". So hang on in there, once you have got over the shock and you have a plan I am sure all will be well. Good luck. xx

  • Thanks Hun...yes, I've read it's the most common cancer in men but also fast becoming THE most cancer full stop. I've heard lots of positive stories which is certainly helping...I guess it's natural to fear the worst and if it's already spread, I worry for the prognosis being that my darling Mum was one day completely fine and the next we were given her stage 4 terminal diagnosis out the blue! I'm getting used to this bas*ars disease sneaking its way into the lives of the people I love the most with devastating consequences so I'm finding it hard to remain truly stoic about it all 😞 Thank you for your response and words of comfort though, I do appreciate it xx

  • Hi Jemima. Having lost both parents to this s**t disease I truly feel your pain. No words just a big hug xx Kathy xx

  • Thank you Kathy...I'm sorry to hear you've lost both your parents. I know my darling Dad is 78 (only just) but he's very young and otherwise fit. His medical record is only 5 lines on a piece of paper...and now this! It's a huge snack in the face πŸ˜” But as a family we will pull together as we have before and deal with whatever is thrown at us. Hope you're doing ok Hun xx

  • So sorry to read your ****news. No words of wisdom but hope this virtual hug will, with all the others, help to support you through the worry. Jo 🌺🌼🌸🌹🌷🌻

  • Thank you Jo...all hugs welcome x

  • Jemima,

    Wanted to add my heartfelt wishes for your dad, you and your family. You've already been told about the prostate cancer sites: my mum used one as dad had prostate cancer.

    You are right in that he needs to find out more about where it is etc. That will bring clarity into the treatment plan etc.

    My dad had both chemo and radiation, he and mum lived in France but the treatment is pretty universal. Radiation - as we know they have to be careful to mark accurately and for your dad to use the cream they provide to help against burns.

    They have made great progress into treatments but it doesn't take away the fear and worry that comes with the news, the tests and the waiting does it?

    Thinking of you all and sending you my love

    Clare xx

  • Thank you Clare - appreciate your response. I remember my Mum having radiotherapy so I feel like I know what he can expect from that...the unknown for now is of course if it's spread. They haven't mentioned chemo as yet but that of course may change as time goes on. Wishing you well for your chemo today Clare xx

  • Thanks Jemima, really hope that you've all managed to get some sleep with the recent news.

    My chemo was in fact Tuesday so this is my day 5 of that cycle- my usually bad day though I'm trying really hard to be positive and think my cells into being healthy !

    Clare xx

  • Lots of positive healthy vibes coming your way xx

  • Hello lovely, I'm so sorry your dad now has cancer, my father in law had prostate cancer and if caught early it can be eminently treatable. In health unlocked there is a section especially for prostate cancer for both the patients and their family it's in malecare. I hope he gets speedy treatment and an equally speedy recovery. Sending you lots of love and big big hugs ❀️Xx Jane

  • Thank you Jane appreciate your kind words xx

  • Hi J- Just want to send you strength to battle this beast all over again. I have lost many family members to the big C, but there is a lot more knowledge and weapons here now to fight back this beast. We just learn to live with this unwelcome house guest. We are all here to support you. Please feel free to vent openly It really does help to let it all out. We always prepare for the worst and hopefully it won't be as bad as you imagine.

    Xx Carol

  • Thank you Carol xx

  • Oh it's seems so cruel, I don't know anything about prostate and hope you find a site quickly.

    Sending you hugs.

    Ellsey xx

  • Thank you hun - I have searched Healthunlocked and joined the Prostate forum and posted just now. I don't know what I'd do without the help, support and advice from my online family...and I plan to share my findings with my beloved Dad when I see him as I hope it will help.

    Hope all is well with you? Xx

  • I'm so sorry. I know how you feel-my wonderful hubby, who got me through my OC treatment last year, is now fighting cancer of the oesophagus. We are back to the chemo day centre-the nurses remembered us!! My Dad had prostate cancer and beat it into remission for a good few years, so there is hope.

    Good luck and best wishes to your Dad

    Lou xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Thanks for your reply Lou & im so sorry to hear you & your lovely ones are also having more than your fair share of all this nastiness. I hope you & your hubby are getting through it all and that your Dad remains in remission. My thoughts are with you xx

  • Mrs. Atko,

    I am 70 and have had PSA up to 44 - in the 30's for 5 yrs. No symptoms other than enlarged prostate - common for my age. The PSA is a tool, not a reason to go have surgery. Look at/evaluate all symptoms before considering surgery/chemo. Quality of life is paramount for me. Not to mention the number of false diagnoses that take place. Make sure your father understands how important it is to be upbeat and express gratitude in his life. "The body follows the plane of the mind's expectations.

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