Finding the positives

Dear All

Hoping you're all in the best and happiest place you can be.

Something prompted me to write this post today so here goes. When I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer last July (day before my 50th birthday even) I was naturally devastated and for weeks found it very hard to find a way to get through. Since then have had chemo which has greatly improved my symptoms but I still have cancer as at the moment due to the bits on my liver surgery isn't currently possible (though am currently seeking a 2nd opinion on this) - But despite all this happening I can see many positives have come about, amongst the negatives, namely an appreciation for life and people and desire to enjoy every moment I can and forget the trivia, the meaningless things that I used to stress about that really just aren't important. The other big thing is this journey led me to finally publish the manuscript I'd sat with for some time before diagnosis - worried it wasn't good enough, worried about people's reactions. This month my book is being published! I may never have done this if I hadn't had this shock and trauma. So if there's something you've always wanted to do and you feel you CAN, why not do it? Should anyone be even remotely interested in the book feel free to pm me!

Love to you all,

Mary xx

28 Replies

  • Hi Mary

    What a fabulous achievement.

    Tell me more about your book?


  • DEAREST Mary, What an absolutely uplifting post and what an amazingachievement. Really well done. Please you must give an overview of the book and where we can buy it. I agree with your sentiments about Carpe Diem . Although what I have found is that I have no great desire to go round the world or climb Mount Everest I just want to spend good times with the people I love. Although I did get married in 2015 after 23 years of been together!!!!! Chris

  • PS I hope they can perform the surgery and good luck with that. Chris

  • Well done Mary .Great achievement . What is your book Fiction or non fiction ?

    Yes you certainly appreciate life and look at things differently . I am trying to make the most of every day despite my stage 4 diagnosis in June 2016 and enjoy simple things like walking our new rescue dog along the beach . Want to get back to dancing as always enjoyed it so am looking into classes . Take care and stay strong love Kim X

  • Hi Kim & Dawn

    Thank you and for your well wishes. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to post details of my book in case it was seen as promotion or something on a forum like this but I'll put a link for people who are interested and it can be removed if not something I should have done (I hope not!) It's fiction and called "A Certain Kind of Light"

    I agree spending time with people we love, walking a rescue dog along a beach are all precious things and dancing sounds pretty good too. I find that if I can even do a little bit of something I love every day it really helps no matter what else is going on! xx


  • Love your post Mary. The things you have mentioned are so true. I hope you have a long remission. Good luck with your 📚 😘😘🌻🌻

  • Thanks so much, Chris:) Hope you are doing well. x

  • Well done on your positivity, I'm also intrested to know more about your book xx

  • Thanks so much, Ann. A link to it here xx

  • What a stunning post and most of us will agree with you . Sifting out the rubbish and getting on with long held projects is wonderful , and wow ! Publishing your book is amazing .

    On the other hand , quiet reflection . walking , gardening , cooking , when you've never had time to , is also lovely .

    Keep as well as you can xx

  • I agree, Angela - all those things I cherish xx

  • That is so inspiring. Please I would love to see and buy a copy of your book.. How can I buy one? Continue to enjoy life and as we all say in this forum, everyday that we wake up in the morning is a Blessing! Take care of yourself.. Xxx

  • Ah, thanks, Luchie. That's really kind of you. Every new day is indeed a blessing. I hope we all have many many, more to enjoy! The book details are here

  • I've just bought the Kindle edition. I only use my Kindle on the train journeys to and from my hospital appointments and in the chemo ward, so it will be poignant to be reading a novel by a fellow cancer sufferer.

    You are right about forgetting meaningless things that are just not worth stressing about. If only I'd known this years and years ago.

    Well done for publishing a novel.

  • Thank you so much! I really hope you enjoy it. It was actually written before my diagnosis but I think I was already on a journey of sorts then anyway, just even more so now. I hope your chemo goes well. Take care xx

  • Congratulations and enjoy your new found serenity to dismiss trivia. OVC is a great leveller for sure in one way but to be published is an amazing achievement. Xx

  • Thank you, Little San. Yes, focusing on what matters and forgetting what doesn't is the way to go! All best wishes, Mary x

  • Hey Mary!

    What a great post and very well done on the book I am very impressed! I had an idea for a book and have some bits and pieces written down but haven't committed yet! Good for you!!!

    I totally agree with what you are saying I too have a new appreciation for the little things! I was driving home from work today it was a beautiful day here in Ireland and I just looked around and thought I love being alive!!!! I got tatoos, jumped off a quarry, climbed a mountain went to Thailand, all things I probably wouldn't have done without the new joy that, ironically, cancer has given me! That coupled with the new appreciation for the people around me and for the wonderful gang of real life superheroes on this forum....I think I can safely say that my cup runneth over and long may it last.....for you too!!!!

    All the best with the book!!


  • Thanks, D! I so agree with you. And yes, long may it last for all of us! Amen!

    Wow jumping off a quarry is pretty amazing!

    Love to you x

  • What a lovely happy positive post, and huge congratulations on getting your book published. I shall look at the link. Just shows that there are loads of positive things in our lives despite OC and good experiences can be so much more special and meaningful 😊🌷📚xxxx

  • Thank you very much, SCWI. Yes, so much I used to take for granted - not anymore!

    Thanks for your interest in my book. xxx

  • Hi Mary, what a lovely post, I wholeheartedly concur with your thoughts, I've found I love the beauty of nature, can't be doing with people moaning about trivial things. Congratulations on your book. Ann x

  • Indeed, Ann. Sounds like so many of us have come to realize what truly matters as a result of this illness. Thank you! Mary x

  • That's a wonderful post. Thank you.

  • Dear Mary, I have just read your post at a time when I am desperate to get 'myself ' back. My surgery was Nov then again in January. I am feeling so sore and battered after returning to work recently...I have found it so difficult to battle the sadness of all this change in who I actually am anymore. We all know how this diagnosis simply just changes you.... in literally one moment.

    After reading you're post... I felt so moved to really think about myself and all you ladies are correct, I really do not care about trivial things anymore. I have no desire to jump off a mountain or out of a plane, but I do want to be the best mum I can. I feel so determined not to waste any time. These are all positives.....

    There are other things that I want to do that I have started to look into, whereas before they felt too much or I didn't have time.... now I am thinking they deserve the time and the housework can wait!

    There is no pretending that the negative changes are immense, however there is definitely a bright light of some positive changes too.

    I hope your book does well.... I have popped it in my shopping basket. The description sounds pretty relevant right now x

    I will continue working on my new sense of self 😥

  • Wow, Donmk! I know what you mean. It's so easy to loose parts of ourselves when we go through life changing stuff like so many of us have been through and are going through. Each day I try to focus on what matters and let the rest go! I hope you can keep yourself well and explore what you truly want and enjoy. I wish that for all of us. And it's hard when physically we don't feel good but I guess it's about making the most of things even then. Thank you so much for buying my book. Much appreciated xxx

  • I shall look forward to reading it.... I haven't fully ordered yet as apparently, I also MUST buy my children fidget spinners lol .... but it is in my basket ready 😀

    I am sure when I am more physically recovered my mood will pick up.... I am striving so hard to get there! I have just started back at my dance class which I totally love, but have been unable to attend for over 6months.... step by step, slowly slowly, but I am getting there.

    Take care Mary.... x

  • That's it, exactly, step by step, and each step in the right direction is a blessing. Have a great day and thanks again. xx

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