Hair Loss

I am due my 2nd chemo on Monday. Although I was told I would lose my hair nothing could have prepared me for how it would affect me. I Had my hair cut short before my 1st chemo as it was fairly long,it started to go 6 days ago and I Had another cut 3 days ago. It is nearly all gone now and I have a wig which I hate. I have also tried turbans, scarves and hats but I feel so traumatised by the whole thing. I am not a vain person but I just hate the way I look. As a general rule I don't care what other people think about me, but this is different.I feel so unattractive and I hate my partner seeing me this way. He is incredibly supportive but it must be hard for him to see me like this but I am just so upset everytime I see my self. I just wish I could be one of those incredibly strong women who just get on with it. Please tell me I will get used to it....

18 Replies

  • Hi Corribrae You are not alone in feeling this way, I actually shed a few tears when my hair was cut, don't think I ever had it short.... But it does get easier, I finished chemo the end of October and have got a good growth of hair already , I never remember it grow so fast 😉... I know when I started chemo I felt I would never get to the finish line, but it really goes by quickly..... Wishing you all the very best of wishes with your treatment,

    L x

  • Well no you may get accustomed to seeing yourself without hair but if you are anything like I was the hair is just part of this strange nightmarish world called cancer.

    It does get easier, you hear yourself say 'I have ovarian cancer' and one day you don't flinch. The hair is temporary and before you know it will be growing back again but the whole adjustment you make through and after treatment is huge- give yourself time and don't be afraid to ask for help. There's no one who has made this journey without sadness, despair and upheaval - however brave people look they all have their 'small hours of the night moments'

    You'll get there, much love Lyndall X

  • I agree it's horrible to see yourself with no hair. I bought a lovely turbin it was a nice stretchy fabric and was so comfy. I hated wearing my wigs too, although they looked good.

    Just think to yourself if it's done that to your hair, what's it doing to the cancer.

    Try to book onto a look good feel good course if you have one in your area.


  • Hi lovely I totally understand how you feel. I started chemo in Feb and finished in June... it does affect you and the shock of it all for me cemented that yes I am seriously ill with cancer. I cried buckets on my own but it's the hell we live in at that time. Strange as it may sound, it does get easier it's the acceptance that you are on this hard journey and it is a roller coaster of emotions. We are all here for you and our little gang has strong arms to wrap round you in your moments of grief. Share your sad times and happy times.. we love all the stories and I wish you well on your incredible journey. You are a strong lady and have got this far and your hair will grow back (mines about an inch and a half now!) Sending you a big hug Love Michelle xx🌻

  • It's such a shock to see yourself ... I do go out without a wig and wonder why people stare and I think ooh I'm bald ... I find I tell people I've got cancer and they just say yes ... because I forget what I look like .... I too am like you and didn't want my hubby to see me ... there is nothing I can do to change that... I finished Chemo at the beginning of October ... although my hair is growing back it's sparse and white ... I would love to be able to encourage it so I look normal again... I'm getting used to being bald I guess and can joke about it... but deep down I feel ravaged I'm not myself.... hey ho I've done this to get rid of the beast I will recover ... I so empathise with you your not alone ... big hugs xxx

  • Hi,

    I don't think you really get used to it, I've just finished my 6th cycle and lost my as you did before my 2nd, I still get a bit of a shock when I look in the mirror. Just keep remembering that it is not permanent, it will grow back. I can't cope with wigs either, but I have embraced turbans & scarfs & now it's colder hats. Don't worry your partner will love you know matter what & before you know it you will be looking forward to it growing back, just like me!

    Take care, Helen x

  • It certainly isn't a good look. I was surprised to find that I actually feel embarrassed by it, and go to some lengths to make sure no-one but my husband sees me uncovered. Last week my sister took me to Suburban Turban to choose a hat, and it took a while before I felt comfortable being exposed to her and the fitter. Lovely hat though!

  • Hi Corribrae,

    You will learn to adapt to it, I promise. I was gutted to lose my hair, which ironically was the best it ever was at the time I was diagnosed. I had it cut into a pixie style which was rather nice, then two weeks into my first chemo, I looked down at my navy blue coat covered in hair. I resembled a yetI. So off it came and out came the head coverings of which there are thousands of options out there.

    Where did you get your wig? I was issued with a voucher to use at an appointed wig seller. It was a Rene of Paris one and not too shabby! Soon after I found a great website from where I purchased several other styles in the same shade (creamy toffee). They were far less expensive than the wig shop. You can get fantastic cotton beanie hats too, cut lower at the back and comfy to wear about the house. I must admit to not liking scarves much as I found them too fussy.

    I also made sure my make up arsenal was up to date, with nice lipsticks and bullet proof eyeliner to 'tight line' my eyes. I learned pretty quickly how to apply false eyelashes too. My eyebrows were drawn on with a great little product by NYX.

    This is a time to pamper yourself as much as you can in preparation for a battle you will have a better chance of beating if you feel better doing it.

    If you haven't attended a 'Look Good Feel Better Workshop' yet and they are available where you are, do go. If for nothing else, there is a big bag of freebies worth having.

    Believe me, you will amaze yourself by how strong you are.


    Debs xxx

  • Honey go get yourself a better wig!! It makes all the difference!!! I had order a couple of cheapies which I hated, then went to a wig shop where a wonderful gal ordered one for me then thinned it and trimmed it up to look very nice!! And it wasn't that expensive, not real hair. People are shocked when I say it's a wig, even has highlights. Google Envy Wigs. I know it's devastating having cancer and losing your hair!! But please get yourself an attractive wig, it honestly makes you feel better. Blessings to you and to your health.

  • I agree with getting a good wig. I'm very lucky to have great coverage.. The people that don't know I have cancer do not know it's a wig unless I tell them.They are made good and look real.Devastated when I loss my hair the first time.When I had my reoccureence 9 months ago I knew when I loss my hair for the second time that I had good wigs to fall back on.I never walked around without a scarf/turban in front of my husband and always wore my wig in public.I didn't like looking at my bald head,it was a reminder of my cancer.The wigs and compliments helped to get me through.Made me feel a bit normal while going through my treatment..Now I have had my real hair colored and trimmed three times.Not used to short hair,but it could be my new norm.Stay strong.

    "The look good feel good" workshop is a good workshop.Lynn

  • Have you been on a Look Good Feel Better course? Hopefully there is one near you, if so get yourself on it. It's a afternoon of company , make up lesson, cups of tea and biccies. It helps us feel better plus you leave with a huge bag of great make up goodies.

    I sobbed like a baby when my hair started to fall out exactly two weeks after chemo and again when my hubby clippered the remaining hair off HOWEVER I didn't wear my wig and despite looking like an alien And Odo from Deep Space Nine (!) I became used to me! It did make me jump and laugh when I caught sight of myself in the mirror and at about the 4th chemo I looked completely 'rubbed out' with about 5 eyelashes and rapidly vanishing eyebrows. I posted my worst time photo on my Instagram account saying "Who rubbed me out?!" As that's what I looked like!

    I wore a combat hat and went without that in the house and garden, hubby said I was still me and was very supportive - you have to believe your hubby if and when he says he is ok with how you look. Your upset over this is probably worse for him than how you look xxx

    It WILL get easier,

    Lippy on and a big smile ....that too makes the the world of difference

    Take care

    Clare xx

  • I have been told about the course and I should make the effort to go. I am starting to make an effort with my make up. We have come away for the weekend before my chemo tomorrow and I have tried turban, hat, wig and scarves where no one knows me. Partners brother and wife joining us this afternoon which will be a bit of a test. They are lovely but they will be the first people I know to have seen me like this. It will be an achievement if I don't burst into tears! Thanks for the tips x

  • My care team told me you loose your hair exactly 17 days from the date of your first chemo, they also said that when you start to accept that you have cancer and expect to have problems with image - and all they forcast happened. I hated looking in the mirror as between the cancer, the chemo, surgery and having lost 20 kgs and my family telling me I was too thin (in the nicest way) my self esteem is still not the best. I commenced chemo on 8 February and ended at the end of July and today for the first time I went out without wearing a turbin - I was very self conscious but that might give you some indication of how long it might take - wishing you every success with your treatment my love😀

  • It seems so very unfair doesn't it that we have to deal with the disease, surgery and chemo and then to cap it all all our feminine attributes start to go, it's just another step in this journey we are all either on or have done. Once the chemo finishes you will be surprised just how quickly your hair starts to regrow, it's so interesting to see what your natural hair colour is. I wanted to look normal during the chemo, everything else was so abnormal that I wanted one thing that I could have control over. I said right at the start of my treatment that I wouldn't wear scarves or turbans, they just shouted cancer to me. Simply wigs is a fantastic wig site, their wigs are lovely, I got three, all in the same colour but different styles, the nurses at Christies commented on how unwig like they were once I told them they were actually wigs. I have kept them as you never know when you can't be bothered doing your hair, open the cupboard and decide who you want to be that day 😉. Eyebrow makeup is important they frame your eyes and make you look more 'normal' and good eyeliner is important to look like you have lashes. I used a light face bronzer and blusher too so i didnt look so washed out. In fact people used to comment on how well I looked. You can save a fortune on hairdressers bills and this pays for the wigs. Good luck with the treatment it is only temporary and soon finished, this journey can only make us stronger xxx

  • I would suggest you try some different wigs, it sounds as if the one you have doesn't really suit you. It's not necessary to spend a lot of money as apart from being careful when you open the oven door and being unable to use a hairdryer, synthetic wigs are indistinguishable from the real thing. Admittedly they are bit warm in the summer but your own hair should be growing back by then.

    No one but my immediate family, my dog, chickens and bees (too difficult to wear the wig under the veil) and a few horses (wig awkward under the hat) saw me without the wig though. Some people look really glamorous without hair, especially with a lot of skilfully applied eye-makeup but I wasn't one of them.

    Practise with colouring in your eyebrows as I found the lack of eyebrows quite noticeable. I waited too long to practise with false eyelashes by which time I had some peripheral neuropathy in my hands and the eyelashes ended up anywhere but were I meant them to be.

    Good luck!

  • I really feel for you I think it's not just the hair loss but the realisation of being ill. After running through the diagnosis and treatments then bodily changes it's so much to cope with.

    It's not about vanity it's the step away from normality and choice. Chemical therapy is harsh be kind to yourself.

    Sending cyber hugs

    LA x

  • Welcome to the site, I agree its not easy losing your crowning glory, I bet your hubby is more worried about you than the way you look at the moment, It is part of the chemo unfortunately. Wear your wig with pride, why not ? Also see if there is a group near you which runs a Look good feel good day for patients. I have found them to be very helpful and everyone leaves in a good mood after getting tips on how to manage to hide the pale look. If not, pop along to your nearest Department store and buy some Clarins Beauty Balm Flash, that gives your skin a better glow. Perhaps you might meet a beautician who will give you some tips on make up etc without robbing your bank account. It is a hard road to be on but remember there is a purpose to it. I hope you have a nice time away best wishes

  • Hi Hun,

    You are a beautiful lady who is just fighting your way through this horrible disease.

    My son used to shave my head and I chose a wig I loved, it was a completely different look for me which I have continued with.

    I am not vain, it made me just feel vunerable, but Itreated each day as a performance,I always fake tanned, put on my face and got out there.All this is just a blip and you will get over it.

    If you feel you are not coping,get some support, or talk to the nurse on this site.......or us,we are always here for each other.

    You can do this, look to the future and getting better,

    Lots of love,

    Carole xxx

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