Cant believe how things just get worse!!!

hello ladies.

this is a totally unrelated blogg. but im so fed up so thought i would get some perspective from those i trust.As you all know i was feeling very down and miserable. so i thought i would go and treat myself and try and cheer myself up..

Years ago i used to have curly hair (permed) and i really liked it and it was always so easy to just get up in the morning and shake it and go.... So i went to the hairdressers and had a perm!!!!! I have quite ;long hair... I have also used the same hairdresser for a long time.. Any way in short she has ruined my hair she left the lotion on far to long and she has scorched all my hair from the ends to the roots...... it looks and feels awful i cant repair it. I went to another hairdresser yesterday who said he could do anything to help except cut of as much as possible so after going through chemo and NOT losing my hair i now have had most of it cut off... he left it as long as he could but did say that it would still be damaged and that basically i have to grow a new head of hair, i am toying with the idea of having it cut even shorter to get rid of some more of the damage...... Now I know that this may seem selfish of me because lots of you gorgeous ladies have lost your hair through treatment so for that i am sorry..... I just feel so overwhelmingly upset....


35 Replies

  • You vent away I think all of us would be mad about that. My hair is due a trim but I want to wait until I get the results of my scan first

  • i cant help but be soooo upset.. it really is a mess and is going to take months and months to grow...

    hope your scan is ok.. xx

  • Good luck for the scan. Hugs to you, too

    ((xx)) Wendy xx

  • ((Hugs))

  • Oh, what a pain! Poor you. Sometimes things that happen like this can have a really bad effect on us, can't they? I know it's not the end of the world, and that your hair will grow again but there are straws and camels backs in life sometimes, heh? Just wanted to say sorry you are feeling down. It will get better and maybe a totally new look, ie more taken off ......maybe go back to the original salon for compensation, even if it's only a complimentary treatment, it may make you feel more in control

    Love n hugs

    Wendy xx

  • Good thinking Wendy

  • Hi Suzanne

    I'm so sorry about this, I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Psychologically for us ladies hair is a sign of our femininity and anything that affects this is really upsetting.

    I had a few perms when I was young and found putting loads of conditioner i.e. half a bottle on really helped. Give it time before you do anything more drastic and honestly it will grow back.

    I hope that you are OK and that you have somebody to give you the support you give all of us here.

    Take care

    Love and hugs

    Charlie xxxx

  • Thank you charlie. I am so upset and everytime I look in the mirror I want to cry! X x

  • Hi Suzanne

    Please don't feel selfish, I feel qualified to say this, as one who has lost her hair (and still wears a wig) everyone hates it when their hair goes wrong... well done you for trying to cheer yourself up....but of course I am very sorry things have gone wrong.. I feel guilty that you are so young, (and I'm a lot older) going through this awful time.........besides losing my hair is not as bad as you think, having lost it twice... there are up sides as not needing my hair done, gone arethe bad hair days.. so you have every right to be upset... I can feel an aching finger coming on lol as I'm sending you smiley faces to cheer you up. Love x G x

    :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) ouch now my finger hurts hahaha

  • thankyou.. xxxxx

  • Dear Suzanne

    I'm really sorry to hear how your treat has turned into a nightmare. I can just imagine how really fed-up you feel as this was meant to put a sparkle back in your eyes and a skip in your step. It was such a good idea to cheer yourself up having been through such a rough time.

    Quite a few years ago I had a hair disaster but this was of my own making. I used to work for a grey-suited quango and managed to give a suitably grey-suited talk at a conference. My director thought it was wonderful and I was so depressed I bought a bottle of traffic light red dye and coloured my hair for the first time in my life. Well firstly I didn't understand the implication of permanent dye, and second, being naturally light blonde my hair absorbed every drop of the colour. I was quite pleased with the effect as I'm a bit of a rebel but the very next day I was invited to an interview for a job I could only dream I'd get.

    Firstly I tried bleach but it turned the hair an evil orange. I waited a couple of weeks thinking the colour would dumb down but not a bit of it. The orange was there to stay. Eventually in desperation a day before the interview I went to the hairdresser and had it cut near to a No 3. The unfortunate thing was my blonde roots were growing through by then and I looked a bit like a tabby cat that has come face-to-face with a Rotweiler in an alleyway.

    You might wonder why I'm telling you this story. I was hoping to make you laugh ... but also to say I actually got the job. Apparently my appearance was quite a talking point and they thought I was a very confident individual if a bit eccentric and this fitted the new job description perfectly.Who knows Suzanne what the new you will bring. I hope my shaggy tabby story cheers you up a bit and reassures you that whilst you might despair about your hair there will be many others who will find the new impish hairstyle a very attractive change.

    Now you've put up this post we'll all be waiting for you to get the second trim to get the style right and to see a photo of your fab new hair.

    Take care, and loads of love xx Annie

  • thankyou... im just so upset and worried that because of the hysterectomy it wont grow back like it should.. xx

  • hi Suzanne no wonder you are angry . Wearing a wig has its up ( always see the positive) like no bad hair days and no expensive hair do's but when you have been through treatment and just got back to normal must be a blow . I hope you have complained to the owner ( although won't bring your hairback and they should be trying to make amends it treatment for hair. It is not trivial losing our hair is a big thing

    Hope you feel better soon

    Ally x

  • Hi Suzanne

    Sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad about your hair, most of us have had hair disasters at one time or the other. I cut mine really short a few days before chemo only to find I had a reaction to taxol and then being told my hair would not fall out as they were no longer going to administer it. I miss my long hair!!!!

    I am not sure when you finished chemo but wanted you and all the other lovely ladies on here aware that after chemo we are not supposed to colour or use chemical treatments on our scalps for a good 6 months. I was totally unaware of this and coloured my hair all the way through my treatments. I read an article on a different website and questioned the chemo nurses the next time I was in only too be told that I could risk losing all my hair due to the reaction of the chemicals in the colour/perm and the chemo drugs. I was in total shock as no one before this had mentioned not to colour my hair.

    I would love to hear of anyone else has heard anything similar.


  • Dear Shabila -I've also heard not to colour or treat hair when having chemotherapy. I didn't think it was because the chemicals mix - rather than the hair thins and any treatments, bleaches, perms, colour, etc put the hair under stress.

    I did laugh when you said you cut your hair very short then didn't have Taxol. I did exactly the same thing last year. I'd asked to delay Taxol as I was getting married and was to have the first double-dose the Thursday after our wedding. I was too mean to have a wedding hair cut one week and then another 4 days later so had it cut incredibly short and I didn't have Taxol either!!

    Is your hair recovering from the chemotherapy. I got a very itchy, ridged scalp for about 4 months after it finished. Apparently the hair does fall out slightly with carbo-platin and then grows back even thicker and that's what causes the itching.

    I'm looking forward to all the other hair disaster stories. They'll make an excellent blog.

    xx Annie

  • hello Suzanne I used to be a hairdresser and you can buy a conditioner for badly damaged hair made in australia its amazing boots sale i am a bit of a chemo head i cant remember the name i think its Aussie conditioner wash your hair and leave it on for 5 mins. while in the shower sure it will help get your hair back to good condition before having it all cut off. hugs Jenny

  • Thank you..

    im just really worried about my hair growing back having had a hysterectomy.. im not on hrt or anything either.. im so worried and i know its silly b ut ive been really ill this week just worrying about my hair... :(

  • I know its so b---dy worrying without every day problems but do try not to be down and force yourself to smile it does make me feel better when i do.Sends happy messages to the brain proven scientifically. Which all helps with the healing process. Also do try the conditioner its great. I use it when my hair over processed. Love Jenny x

  • Hi Suzannehadenough, I lost my hair when I had chemo and all the way through we kept it bald. My hair was always my pride and joy and I had it dyed every six weeks most of my adult life. So it was a shock when I went bald. I know this is hard but you have been through so much this is another hurdle in your life you can over come. I was surprised at how I changed the feelings associated with my baldness into a feeling of positivity. I saw it as a rebirth and when it grew back it was 10 shades darker. It's true you can't dye it for at least two years but now I've started having highlights and feel happy about it. Stay positive and remember we are all strong women.

    Lucy x

  • Thank you lucy, again I feel bad that my vanity is such an issue when so many of you have lost your hair, im angry that my hair survived chemo just to have some hairdresser who doesnt care completly ruin it! X x

  • Hi there Suzanne ,

    I am so very sorry bless you to hear you have such a terrible time at the hairdressers xx

    Was she a Junior ??? or qualified ??? she really should have know better .... Also if she was a good hairdresser she also should have known about not putting a colour on or any other treatment to hair thats been through chemo .

    I had long hair before I had my op in Dec and decided to have it cut short ...

    I just knew it would be a lot to look after when I was in recovery from the op so had it cut short ..the first time in 29 years was a big thing for me to do .

    Now with having the chemo and having it cut short it before hand it made it easier to lose it .

    So I do know how you must be feeling xx I am now missing it more as the months are ticking by ..Our hair is very important to us plays a big part of who we are ..Maybe you should have it a little shorter to be rid of the damaged bits at least you are not then looking at them each day, I know it will be short but you can start again .

    Can the new hairdresser recommend a good conditioner and you can get some vitamins from Holland and Barrett that are good for ones hair .

    Take good care now x

    Love Janet xx

  • Thank you janet. I feel so selfish going on about it when so many of you lovely ladies have lost your hair. Your right it is a big thing. I just want to get on with it and stop worrying but something wont let me. I know it will grow again. Just so upset. X x

    By the way she was fully qualified. X x

  • Hi there Suzanne ...

    No you are not selfish ..not at all bless you ..our hair is very important to us .so you must be feeling terribly upset .

    Have it a bit shorter as Gina has spoken about and then buy a nice hat or cap ..

    I wonder when the hairdresser qualified ?? ..

    Hope you feel a little brighter soon x if not you know we are here xx

    Love Janet xx

  • Oh poor you. My hair was down past my waist before my chemo.A week before

    I started I just chopped it off to chin length while it was in a plait and sent it off

    to a charity that makes wigs.My husband then buzzed the rest off.He was very upset.

    I have enjoyed having the short curly hair that grew after the chemo but now

    it seems to be falling out again for some strange reason.It would be best for you

    to get rid of the damage and have a fun short crop.They are very in at the moment. Use lots of conditioner and leave your head wrapped in a warm towel

    for as long as you can before you wash it off. regards Georgie

  • Thank you all for your kind words. They always mean so much. Thanks for all the advice.

    X x x

  • Hi Suzanne

    I do hope you are feeling a wee bit better.

    The conditioner referred to by one of the other girls is called Aussie Three Minute Miracle. Leave lots on for say 15 minutes and it will at least make your hair feel nicer.


    Charlie xxx

  • Thank you charlie I will give it at go.

    X x x x

  • I can understand that you're upset which is quite understandable. I remember I did the same thing when I was 17 and I cried for days! Plus, it's the last thing you want after what you've been through isn't it? I was wondering whether your hair had reacted to the perm solution in that way because it was already damaged structurally by the chemo? That's always a possibility and, if it was, you might be able to forgive your hairdresser. It's obviously a very important issue for you and it'd be nice if you could carry on going to the same salon so you can avoid this major change to your routine. Well, anyway, the good news is that your hair will grow back and sooner than you think. There's nothing you can do about it all at the moment other than to vent .. and there are lots of caring, listening ears here. :)

  • Thank you tina. Your right my hair could have reacted badly but I did ask my hairdresser before I went ahead with it and she assured me it would be fine. And as a professional I expected her to know. I wont ever be going back. My mum and my sister have contacted her to ask for a refund they think thats the least she owes me but she said she wants to speak to me but I just dont want to.

    X x x

  • Hi Suzanne

    Just wanted to tell you that from my experience having a hysterectomy has not affected my hair growing back. I lost my hair entirely (including eye-brows, eyelashes, ahem - down below! :) ) TWICE over and it grew back just as it had been before. My hysterectomy was over 12 years ago (i was only 29) and I have never taken HRT, so please do not worry that your hair will not grow back.

    No-one blames you for having a moan. Its so distressing to look in the mirror and not recognise the person staring back at you, you have been through so much but at least the only way is up now!! Take care.


  • Thank you vicky, thats just what I wanted to hear.

    Im sorry that you have lost your hair twice its so unfair. And you were very young when you had your hysterectomy, I find it difficult to cope with that part of the cancer. I have hot flushes and nite sweats and I hardly sleep I wake up feeling more tired than I did when I went to bed. Anyway im moaning again.

    Take care and thank you again.

    Love suzanne. X x x

  • Don't worry about the moaning/venting; shout 'it's not bloody fair' if you like, its what this website is for!!! I feel that when I have a moan to my friends, and its not their fault, but they really have no idea, so they just don't know what to say and I just end up feeling like I'm being a drama queen. You are expressing genuine feelings about what's happening to you and none of us mind because we have all been there.

    I would think if you are not sleeping well, then no wonder you feel so overwhelmed by everything. I did have hot flushes and nite sweats, but its difficult 12 years on to remember what was normal post-op, what was post-menopause and what was caused by chemo. But I am happy to say that all those sort of symptoms have passed now. :)


  • Hi Suzanne

    I am just wondering how you are doing? I don't know if you have been on here or not, and concerned... I hope you are well.......and that your hair is looking better now... Thinking of you love x G x :-)

  • Hi Gwyn. Thank you im ok at the moment, My hair is still in a sorry state but im managing it a bit better, I have my first 3 monthly checkup to day and this has been playing on my mind a little so thats why ive been a bit quiet..

    I hope you are well .

    Love suzanne .. :) xxx

  • Hi Suzanne

    My thoughts are with you especially today.. ScardyCat was at Christies the othe day and waited four hours to get her results I hope you don't have to wait so long... Best wishes love x G x :-)

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