Introduction

[coalole]

Hello, my name is Diane, but I'm known as coalole on other forums. I was diagnosed in Feb 2016. Tumour in the omentum. I've had a hysterectomy and am coming to the end of chemotherapy sessions. Depression about the future is my current problem. I'm hoping that talking to people on the same path will help me be more positive.

[thesilent1]

Hi Diane, Welcome to our 'club'. I found I got very anxious after my chemotherapy ended first time around. My GP prescribed a low dose of Citalopram for me. Once it got into my system I felt my mood lift. She also recommended that I contact our local Macmillan centre to request counseling which I did do. Unfofrtunately I had to wait for 3 months for my first session due to the demand but it was worth it.

I think we all go through anxiousness about what the future holds for us, perhaps moreso when we have been diagnosed in the advanced stages of disease. This is natural. You have to remember your body has been through a lot in the last number of months, surgery and then the onslaught of chemo and your poor mind has been put through the mill also. Once chemo is over and your not running back and forth to appointments, your mind will start to process it all, that's what happened with me, and that's when I fell apart but with the help of my GP, the counselling when I got it and the lovely ladies on here, I got there and you will too. Good luck with your last chemo. Ann x

[Nesie237]

Hi coalole, welcome. This is a great site for support and advice, to share common experiences, as you say. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2014. I had extensive surgery, including an omentectomy, then chemo for 10 or so sessions. I think it's the waiting that drives most of us a little buggy. Depression is something many of us have, due to the uncertainty of the future and all the side effects of chemo. I still have neuropathy in my lower legs. That doesn't sound very uplifting, I know. I hope others can offer more positivity. It's so hard, isn't it? Take care, be gentle with yourself as you recover. Nesie 237

[lesleysage in reply to Nesie237]

Love your last sentence, Nesie. Lesley

[Nesie237 in reply to lesleysage]

That's one of the most important things, give yourself permission to take your time healing. Not everyone will understand that, but you just remember it. You are the one who was so sick. Sometimes that's not easy to do. People think you will bounce right back. No bouncing, Lesley, Nesie 237 (Denese)

[SuSue in reply to Nesie237]

Totally on the same page nesie. Neuropathy in my legs at night drives me mad does anything work for you. Best wishes Sue

[Nesie237 in reply to SuSue]

I use Gabapentin, it made me sleepy at first but I got used to it. I have neuropathy from chemo and fibromyalgia, so I've been taking it for many years. It's worth trying. Take care, Nesie 237

[SuSue in reply to Nesie237]

I too have fibromyalgia and was prescribed amitryptiline but it doesn't really work. Will mention that to my gp next time I go. Thanks for the advice. Best wishes sue

[Nesie237 in reply to SuSue]

Susue, it's worth a try anyway. I started with amitryptilline also, it's supposed to help with pain. It didn't help me much. Maybe the combo will help. Take care, Nesie 237

[foss54]

Hello Diane, As the others have said, you've been through the mill, and it's not surprising that you are suffering from depression. February is not long ago, and you will start to come out of it.

I was diagnosed in summer 2014, had full hysterectomy and omentectomy, too, then chemo. I'd been perfectly healthy before then, so it was a huge shock, physically and mentally. Definitely look out local counselling opportunities. I am very lucky to have a nearby hospice that offers such services, and it has kept me sane.

All the very best, and a big hug x

[Tesla_7US]

Coalole, Cancer robs us of the "open runway of life"--that idea that we'll live a long, uninterrupted existence and die peacefully in our sleep. OK, so I've now had breast cancer and a mastectomy in 2006 and Nov 2015 diagnosed 3C OC. After radical surgery and 10 months of chemo, Plus another surgery coming in Oct to reverse my colostomy, I have finally learned that worry only makes me sicker. I am too exhausted to worry. Worry only begats more worry which makes us secrete cortisol which causes inflammation which can raise our CA125!!! So find something you are passionate about and pursue it!!! Learn yoga, grow a banzai tree, collect stamps, crochet, draw, paint. Find something simple that you want to learn about and pursue it mightily. Get counseling so you can talk through your fears and plan strategies to change your thoughts when you're feeling overwhelmed. Do not let anxiety rob you of the opportunity to revel in the fact that you're alive!!! Each day is another page of your life to fulfill. It get's easier. Tesla

[trix70 in reply to Tesla_7US]

Well said Tesla, love the opening lines. I need to take up a hobby also. X

[Caroles1]

Hi Diane,

I was diagnosed August 2014 and finished chemo March 2015, I have found worry and depression the worst thing to cope with,OC Definately messes with your head.

I haven't been put on any happy pills as yet,but have been to councelling,my worst worry is will it return and how would I cope with that again?

[Caroles1]

Sorry it went before I'd finished!

I would agree keeping busy is the best thing to do and take care of yourself,I find I have to nap when I need it.

I have done up 3 houses with my husband and look after my 2 year old grandson 2 days a week,we also go on holidays and a good concert always lifts the spirits.

This website is invaluable and when you feel a rant coming on,is great for getting it off your chest and there is always someone to listen and give advice.

So I say welcome, you may not want to be here,but the ladies are lovely,we are all in the same boat so speak to us anytime

Carole xxx

[Tess66]

Hi coalole, me too had my omentum removed and a full hysterectomy due to having a tumor on my right ovary had a OP in March 2016. Was diagnosed in Jan 2016 due to my CA125 being 203 - my world was turned upside down - I'm am waiting for my last chemotherapy having it next week - I've have being struggling a bit due to come to the end off it - got a CT scan end of August then I see my doctor in September for the results - my mind has been playing tricks with me all I want to hear is that I'm am clear I've been so healthy and this horrible disease has took 9 months out of my life I'm due to go back to work in couple of weeks on reduce hours - can't wait to see my work colleagues and feel I belong in the normal world - me too I go to a Maggie centre in Manchester next to the Christie hospital were I've had my OP and my treatment they have been great! I just keep busy on good days I do a lot of walking and I have just got a lovely bike that my gold to start cycling and get fit again - this site is really good I'm am new too it and the support has been great - we can all beat this together- put two fingers up to the cancer hope you will be fine take care and be positive 👍-

[January-2016-UK]

Do try some counselling as this will help you work through your depression. Yoga is very calming too if you'd like to try that. I find going out for a walk in the country very uplifting and the exercise is also good for your soul.

All the best!

[Juliette35]

I know exactly how you feel as I too worry what the future holds. I was diagnosed last year had my first lot of chemo I have ppc, then three days after the chemo I was admitted to hospital with a blocked bowel. After I recovered from that had two more lots of chemo then debulking then three more chemo. I was then put on avastin but that didn't work for me so my oncologist put me on caelyex but that didn't work. So now back on taxol which I will be having once a week for eighteen weeks. I saw my Gp as I was feeling very low and she put me on amitripyline,been on it for a few weeks but they don't seem to be helping. Will be making another appointment to see her . Also I have put on a lot of weight so am going to start doing my yoga again. Xx

[SuSue]

Hi Diane like you I'm new to the site and I have found it's helped just in the short time I've been here. Family and friends try to understand how you feel but I don't think anyone can truly understand unless you've been there. Like you after chemo I got very anxious and depressed as in some strange way I felt protected whilst I was on chemo and there was a lot going on. I also felt at the time I was in survival mode and having got through surgery and chemo the magnitude of it all just suddenly hit me. I was lucky as at the time I was attending my local hospice and they arranged some counselling for me which really helped. Hope you can get some support as it does make a big difference. I still have anxious down days probably always will but try to make the most of your good days. Best wishes sue

[Mrs_Atko]

Hi Diane - I just wanted to say hello and welcome. The ladies here are all amazing...I'm sure you will get a lot from them. I just wanted to wish you well with your continued treatment and send you a little ((hug)) through the airwaves. Jemima xx

[pishi1]

Hi, I am also new to the forum. Was diagnosed in Oct 2015 after having a full abdominal hysterectomy. It has been just over three months now since my Chemo finished and I am slowly beginning to feel better. It was stage 3 on a background of endometriosis. I was lucky my husband was a great support along with my immediate family so did not feel the need to see a counsellor. Having said that I consider myself stronge and just took the view that you just have to get on with it as best you can. I try not to think about the future because then I would get depressed and focus on each day and looking after my diet and general wellbeing. At present I am focusing on gardening as I find it therapeutic and also want to take up Thai chi at Maggie's.

I remember my operation was put on hold as they they found some cirrhosis of the liver. It is not alcohol related and I take a betablocker for portal hypertension. But hey ho I just adapted because there is no other way.

Being positive is the key to anything and you will be ok.

Regards

Angela

[IrishMollyO]

Hi Coalole

I am late to reply and having read all the other replies I have to echo what they all say. I was warned as I neared the end of my chemo that most women would have some kind of abandonment feelings when they finished and would not be seeing anyone until the next routine appt . Your props have disappeared and all those lovely nurses dancing attention on you have gone on to the next new patient. Your friends and family see you looking well and it's back to normal again for them. What they don't understand is that your normal will have changed somewhat since Cancer came into your life. This is where you you need a new kind of prop or props . For some woman it is antidepressants . For me I went to a local support centre where I learned mindfulness and Tai Chi and talked to lots of women and some men with various forms of cancer. Then I discovered Ovacare Ireland who are the equivilent of Ovacome and who introduced me to the Ovacome website. As you can see its a wonderful site with lots of empathy and help from women on the same journey. I did also avail of counselling which I found wonderful. I also keep a journal and every night I write my worries on s page to park them overnight or even sometimes get rid of them . Of course I have also been known to put up a desperate pleading post when none of my props help . I am immediately enfolded in a virtual warm embrace with lots of wonderful advice. I really hope you found some glimmers of light and hope from all the replies. Take care and stay in touch.

XXX

[IrishMollyO]

Sorry Diane

Apologies for not addressing you by your name as I just looked back and saw you had of course given it !

[Dollysmum]

Hi Diane,

A big warm welcome to you.

I was diagnosed last November, so only a little ahead of you in terms of treatment, having completed chemo in June.

Think of what you've come through in such a short space of time. You've been in battle and are scarred both physically and mentally - it's only to be expected. At least then you can reconcile with that.

The problem of course is how we cope with what the future might bring. If you haven't sought counselling yet, do ask your CNS or GP to refer you. Talking things out does help you process things.

I don't suffer from depression so much as anxiety and take Diazepam as and when (not every day) to help calm me down. Discuss with your GP what might work best for you.

In the meantime love, be kind to yourself and help yourself to heal. You're in very good company on this forum.

Debs xxx

[coalole]

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. I will ask my GP to refer me for counselling. I will also go back to the Tai Chi class I had started last year. Other friends have suggested a holiday away so will look into that for the spring. Also there is a local charity which offers free alternative treatments like massage and reflexology and support groups.

Reading other people's stories here also helps me get my problems in proportion.

Hugs to anyone who needs one.

[judyved-US in reply to coalole]

So glad to see you practice Tai Chi, Coalole.......I have practiced it in the past.....not as much now, but you've reminded me of it.....and it does have a very calming effect. I was diagnosed with stage 4 oc in Sept of 2014. I had the surgery, and chemo and have been in remission for 18 months now. I think a positive attitude is so important, so whatever you need to do to develop one will be a step in the right direction. Being on this forum is definitely a benefit. You will find so much support and good information here. Don't forget, there are no guarantees in life, oc or no oc, so live every day and be happy!

Best wishes to you......Judy V

[ellseybellsey]

Hi Diane

Welcome to this site, you will get so much support from the lovely ladies who are and have been through this.

I had my 5th line yesterday and it was a marathon 13 hours later, but I also am getting a little anxious knowing the next one is my last and disappointed with myself that I should be celebrating my treatment is coMing to an end.

I think Debs put a link on the site for cancer counselling.org.uk I am reading it now on coming to the end or finishing treatment, it may help you.

Hugs Ellsey xx