BRAC2

[Katmal-UK]

So I have just found out my 22 year old son has inherited BRAC2 gene, angry and upset beyond words. Feeling so guilty, what about my daughter and grandchildren? Have I passed this onto them as well? Just so angry......

[786Asma_believer_]

Hi

I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling right now 😕

However I do know your can't blame yourself.

Lots of love prays and positive vibes being sent your ways

Asma x

[Katmal-UK in reply to 786Asma_believer_]

Thanks Asma. I feel so scared for his future, especially having seen a male cousin die from aggressive prostrate cancer at the age of 47. Not positive he had the gene but its highly likely he did. On the plus side at least my son will be able to get regular testing. Just feel stunned and angry ....

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear this . I can only imagine how you are feeling . Bad enough we have to do all this without our children as well. I didn't realise it could be passed on to males I've only ever heard of females carrying this gene. He will be monitored closely and if anything should arise it will be caught very early . I know that's not much comfort. Sending big hugs to you and your family.😘😘🌻🌻

[Katmal-UK in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Chirs. Im trying to take the positive from this that he can (in later years) get regular testing and I just have to pray he doesnt pass it on x

[Yoshbosh]

Don't blame yourself for this 🙁 Someone in your family passed the gene down for many generations before you. At least your son knows now, and if there are any future health impacts for him (or his future children) he can manage them. I honestly think that it's better to know and be aware - testing and monitoring will help catch anything early. Big hugs x

[Hidden]

Good morning sorry to hear your news I know exactly how you feel i got the same news about me daughter its devastating she herself is taking it in her stride and is being positive! try not to blame yourself easy to say I know! Sending you and you son big hugs xx

[HogwartsDK]

Kat!

So sorry to hear this! Don't blame yourself you have no control over your genetic material but I know that's easy for me to say! As the others have said at least now your son is armed with information that will mean that he will be monitored closely from now on which is a good thing!

Mind yourself!

Dx

[Lyndy]

Hi Kat

Sorry to hear about your son... I won't know my daughters status until they are ready to be tested but not looking forward to it.

We have to remember that many cancers and many illnesses have some genetic basis. We focus on BRCA because that's the one we know about (and as others have said enhanced screening comes with the testing). In the future it will be common to do preventative genetic screening and we won't feel so blighted by it. Love Lyndall

[Lily-Anne]

I am so sorry to read your news. Although I haven't any family history of cancer there is a belief that it is genetic and I have started the process to find out, I'm dreading the results because of my children but I think there is a positive in forewarned is forearmed.

Sending a virtual hug

LA xx

[Katmal-UK in reply to Lily-Anne]

Thanks LA, I do agree forewarned os forearmed . hope your doing ok x

[Dollysmum]

Kathy love, please don't feel guilty. YOU haven't passed it on. It's an utter b@s@ard that has taken up residence and decided to stay. It doesn't take prisoners but then neither do you and I would wager your offsprings won't either.

Treatments are improving all the time and as ghastly as this is, there will be more efficient therapies, thanks in no small part to the research and trials of which you and other brave women have taken part.

Thinking of you

Debs xxx

[Katmal-UK in reply to Dollysmum]

Thanks Debs. Im trying to stay positive and hopefully by the time he starts being tested there will be new therapies or who knows.....a cure . Hes staying positive. Im hoping itll teach him to live life, which he does anyway, hes a good lad and Im proud of him. He's just about to start his last year of uni xx

[Millie-c]

Hi Kat, so sorry to hear this news about your son.

Try to see the result as positive as all the extra testing that will be available if worst case did happen it should be found early stages. Forewarned is forearmed too.

Take care,

Mandy, xx

[Julie40]

Kathy my eldest daughter who's 24 has it. We are BRCA 1. I was devastated and felt so guilty. The genetic counsellor I had was fantastic and helped me overcome the feelings of guilt I had. I have a grandson so she may have already passed it on. Broke my heart but I've kept really on top of the research and been to lots of events to be armed with info and developments. I spoke at a BRCA conference here in Northern Ireland.

At one of these events I was able to learn about practical things like insurance but a very important learning was that PGD is available. Basically like IVF. They can test the egg to ensure that it doesn't have he genetic mutation. You only have to look at parp to see the options for the future. My Onc told me there is a lot of research happening. This gives me comfort. She will have a hysterectomy in a couple of years, it's all in the process now.

My nanny died at age 44 leaving 8 children behind and we've only realised that it was down to this. Our family were told that it was a Gynae cancer. Only when I was diagnosed and subsequently tested it all made sense. There have been a lot of others since me I felt like I brought it all to everyone because I was the first.

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER and what we've been through will not be in vain as we are arming our children with this knowledge that will let them be monitored and make decisions to reduce their risks.

I know it's so tough and for me was the worst thing about my diagnosis. It really knocked me but please try not to let that happen to you. My son and young daughter will also have to be tested but for now we are just getting on with life.

Big hug xox

[Katmal-UK in reply to Julie40]

Thanks Julie. I think Im still trying to come to terms with it and my son seems to be taking it in his stride. He seems to be seeing the positives in knowledge but I just wish so much that test had come back negative. I wished Id have known before and maybe I wouldnt have had children to pass this on to.....I dont know, my head feels bit messed up by it all at the moment. I love him so much and yet Ive given him this albeit unknowingly. My daughter has yet to be tested, if at all. I dont think she wants to know at the moment. God I truly hate this disease ,

[ntapia26 in reply to Julie40]

What kind of doctor do you get that genetic information with??

[Gleedy]

Please don't feel guilty although I get it. Anger I also get. This disease creates a lot of that. As you have said, your son will now get regular testing. I'm sure your son isn't angry with you or blames you in any way. I'm thinking of you. X

[Katmal-UK in reply to Gleedy]

Thanks, He doesnt blame me or is angry with me but I wouldnt blame him if he did. I just hope he can get past this and live life fully, which hopefully he will. Not sure what will happen if he ever decides to settle down and start a family tho, that worries me x

[Gleedy in reply to Katmal-UK]

I know but I was once told keep the worries in the here and now and not the future. Easier said than done but it does work. Xx

[Choski]

Please try not to blame yourself, inherited genes aren't your fault . Nowat the very least your son is informed and has that knowledge to be able to be more aware and that us good. I'm sure you're not angry with your parents and they won't be angry with you.

Xx

[Katmal-UK in reply to Choski]

Hi no im not angry with my mum and to be totally honest im glad shes not here to know.

[January-2016-UK]

Try not to feel guilty, it's no more your fault than passing down blue or brown eyes for instance.

And forewarned is forearmed so regular monitoring should help ensure if a cancer does materialise, it will be caught early.

All the best!

[IrishMollyO]

Hi Kathy

Just reading your post and all the replies and I think all the others have put it so much better than I could. It is such a shock to you of course but I really think that brave women like you are paving the way to eradicating this disease in future generations. It is giving your son the comfort of regular monitoring. We know that for us when we were young we didn't get that chance. I can really understand your anger as its bad enough dealing with this rotten disease without having to worry about loved ones. I don't know what to say to comfort you but just know I am thinking of you. Tske care

XXX

[LittleSan]

Oh Kathy, Everyone has said what I wanted to but wanted to send my heartfelt empathy to how you're feeling. By all means get your justifiable anger out but please, please do not feel guilty. You have done nothing negligent or bad; you too are just a victim of your genetic makeup. Xx

[LesleyGreengran]

I'm sure you are angry and upset but you mustn't feel guilty, it's not in any way your fault.

[Lucidalil]

Hi Karma, i can completely relate to yout situation ,both my daughters were tested when I was diagnosed with brca 1 in 2013 I was devastated , the guilt was horrendous and I beat myself up for months. I actually felt worse than i did when given the news that I had camcer both times! My daughters are fabulous one had surgery quite quickly aged 26 (at the wonderful marsden) and my younger daughter who is now 22 is having surgery next year as she wanted to finish uni first. They made this choice after watching me go through breast cancer in 1999 then diagnosed with oc 3c on 2013. On the up side they will be watched carefully and when/if they want a family they can have their eggs tested for this gene. This makes me feel stronger as they have the means to eradicate this **** disease from our family. ☺