Goodbye hair

Hi, 18th day after first chemo and it's now time for the wig. Finding having no hair quite devastating, but it's a small price to pay in return for life!

[Whippit]

Hi Juliet

I was lucky and unlucky. My hospital forgot to order taxol for first line so I haven't experienced it till my third line 4 years later. What a difference four years makes. I would have been devastated too for first line on top of diagnosis and the prospect of major surgery.

If it makes it any easier you'll realise how many women lose their hair and you'll see some women with no hair who hold their heads up and look absolutely amazing. My first treatment of taxol early this month left me with white baby-fluff hair and a lot of scalp showing. It's helped to get used to the 'new look'. I abandoned my wig as it looked like a ferret on my head and my attempts at tying scarves and turbans just seemed to accentuate it all and shout 'Look at me!' so here I am bald - or nearly bald - enjoying the sunshine and keeping my pecker up.

I continue to wear sailing caps because that's the 'norm' for me. They don't cover all the bald bits but breaks up the egg look and keeps the sun from burning my head.

You do whatever you feel most comfortable doing. I hope you find a good solution.

xx Annie

[Taichipat in reply to Whippit]

Feel same as you Annie. Got the white silver backed gorilla look. Continuing to moult. Don't like wig - it rides up at the back. Wish I was enjoying sunshine but feel too ill to - another summer suffering with this disease. I wear the black cap too. Like you I feel the scarves and turbans seem to accentuate our condition and shout "Look at me I have cancer." It makes me feel the same way when passing acquaintances or strangers say "How are you"? - feel like hollering I GOT CANCER. Sorry bit fed up today of everyone saying enjoy sunshine - when it is making me feel sickly. Or come out for lunch when I can hardly get out of chair. Only you ladies know how I am feeling just now. But tomorrow I know I will be different. Just got to get today over. It is wasted time though and time is something not got much of.

[Jo-Bo in reply to Taichipat]

Big love and hugs coming your way. I get it!

[thesilent1 in reply to Taichipat]

I know exactly how you are feeling. Virtual hug coming your way. Ann xo

[Whippit in reply to Taichipat]

I hope you're feeling better soon Pat. I have those days too. Best to snuggle up away from the sunshine, watch whatever amuses you on television or listen to the radio, and forget about the world.

Let's hope tomorrow is a better day for you. xxx love Annie

[Alikay]

Hi Juliet

I also found loosing my hair really difficult to accept, but the wig was fantastic in as much that everyone thought it was my own hair. It did take a bit of getting used to, but it soon became the "norm", and I only ever went without it at home. My husband was the only person ever to see me without hair, and lovingly christened me " Gollum". I have grown hair back, but have decided to keep it really short, so much easier to look after. Whether you stick with the wig, choose a scarf or hat or go "au naturelle", it is ,as you say, a small price to pay for life.

I hope that your treatment goes well.

Ali x

[kittie]

Hi Juliet55, I found on my 1st treatment losing my hair did not bother me I think I was still in shock. I got a wig but never wore it I wore bandanas and hats instead. This time round I found it harder maybe its because my hair grew back stronger and thicker. I finish chemo this week on my 1st reacurrance so I am looking forward to what hair I will get this time, hopefully as good if not better than the last time. Chin up and just think about all the new colours and styles you can try when it all grows back.Kittie

PS .I found losing my eyebrows and eyelashes the hardest think to cope with when I lost them.

[Whippit in reply to kittie]

A nurse has just told me of a conditioner for eyebrows and eyelashes that helps to keep them. I'll ask her again when she comes round (I'm on chemo at the moment) and will post it up. It's a shop called something like SX xx in the King's Road in London.

[Hidden]

Thanks to all for your encouragement. I had my head shaved yesterday and found it very traumatic and shocking. Today, I am getting used to looking at my bald head! I have a nice wig, looks very like my own hair, but shorter, and I will wear it out at all times I think. I'm not brave enough to go out bald and the turbans are like saying "look at me" as Whippit says, but they're fine for around the house.

I haven't lost eyelashes yet - do they always fall out too?

Juliet

[Cre27]

As the others have said its all a bit of a shock at first but you do get use to it. My eyebrows etc didn't disappear until later when all hair went from everywhere!!!!! Still no shaving of legs! Do try Virgin coconut oil to rub on scalp and everywhere else. It's great for the skin but use after shower when skin is warm. Available from health shops. Hold your head high. You will get through this. My friends are talking about having a sweepstake to see what my hair grows back like!! Big hug xx

[Lily-Anne]

I think it's really traumatic losing your hair, and I seriously think doctors are switched off to the emotional cost. I have a had a couple of conversations with doctors about this for some research and they came across as being so institutionalised that to them everything is 'just' a side effect to drugs.

I didn't lose my hair because of my decision not to have Taxol, but with potential treatment looming, if the results ever turn up, I have thought about this a lot. My hair is long and I'm quite vain, I will find it very hard.

Much love to all of you ladies having to deal with this.

LA xx

[Lost4Words]

I found it extremely liberating when I shaved my head for the first time. It was the first time I felt in control of what was happening to me. I did wear my wig a lot the first time but the second time I shaved it off I went commando and didn't bother with either a wig or hats, I found wearing a wig in warm weather was like wearing a wooly hat and actually added to my distress. Yes, it is like saying 'look at me' but I'm saying 'look at me, I'm alive and getting on with my life' one other bonus to having a wig (I always look for the positives) when you feel like crap but have to go out, you can just pop your wig on and away you go, no more spending hours washing, drying and styling before you can put a foot out the door. I've just shaved it for the third time and now the weathers turning warm it's so much more comfortable, got a nice floppy hat to keep the sun off and I'm set for summer.

(((((hugs)))))

L4W

[Whippit in reply to Lost4Words]

Love your 'can-do' attitude L4W

[Jo-Bo]

Yes the hair thing is difficult. I quite enjoyed wearing a wig in winter, no brushing, washing, going to the hairdresser and my head was always warm and snug. Summer is a different matter. I got a lovely sun hat that was cool to wear and covered baldy!

[thesilent1]

Definitely, and it will grow back. One came back just as thick as before but curly lol.

It feels like looking at a stranger when you look in the mirror at first but you soon get used to it. I couldn't cope with the wig so i worse scarves, go for cotton, not silk.

All the best. Ann x

[JacJac]

What an amazing bunch of ladies. Hair or no hair. We keep on living. Love to you all and virtual hugs to those that need one. xxxxxxxxx JacJac

[Hidden]

I did the same as one of the ladies, knew hair was coming out, got it cut short and picked wig and when hair started thining I got it shaved, I felt that doing it this way chemo didnt get me, I made the decision myself. Just looking at a photo taken earlier with cousins today and of course the face tells I have recurrent disease, just had Avastin last Thurs so bound to look a bit off. Then to make it worse, read the local paper and saw a photo of an old school acquaintance. She was always jet black curly hair, now she is botoxed and blonde and straight, and size 10 with blonde tint to her eyelashes and teeth bleached. I took a double take, and then thought well I have my life as it is and have been lucky in way I have responded to treatment so I have to be grateful for that.

[Hidden]

Hi Juliet. My lashes & brows were the last to go. I think I was almost at the end of the chemo when I lost them. Head-hair began to shed almost immediately, followed gradually by body hair.

I didn't recognise myself when I lost my eyebrows. BUT they were also the first to return ! There's not much length to grow, is there? Best wishes. Pauline.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Pauline

Thanks for response - can we use false eyelashes?

[Hidden]

Sorry Juliet, I don't know if we can wear false eyelashes when ours have departed. Does anyone else out there know the answer? Pauline