I will not come off particularly well in this blog. I know so many brave women whose situation is so much worse.
I've been struggling with breathlessness and pains in my chest particularly when I do anything or I'm lying down. I thought that maybe there had been a build up of fluid on my chest again so I went to my local hospital. This isn't the hospital where I'm getting my treatment they don't have an A&E.
I initially went to the walk in centre and they decided to refer me to the medics so I was sent up to one of the assessment wards and saw 3 different doctors who I had yo explain my symptoms to and I think if I had to say 99 one more time I'd go mad.
I was told I was going to have a chest xray that evening but I asked a nurse if I was going to have to stay in. I was on edge I hadn't come prepared for a stay in hospital I was just hoping for a quick xray then home. I couldn't settle in the hospital there were too many distractions and I kept having hot flushes. I kept wishing I could go home so I removed my canula, got dressed and told the nurses I wanted to go home. They wouldn't let me without seeing a doctor first I became stubborn and belligerent. The doctor was longer than expected so I tried to leave and the nurses chased after me and threatened me with security. By this time the doctor had turned up and I was ushered into a quiet room where I burst into tears.
The staff were really kind and tried their best to persuade me to stay but I just really wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed I just felt I'd spent enough time in hospital. I knew I was seeing my consultant this week.
I had a follow up appointment with my consultant on Thursday and saw one of his registrars. The goods news is the CT of my abdomen and pelvis has showed no change in my cancer and my pleural effusion seemed stable as well.
I told them about my symptoms and they have decided to book me in for a chest CT early next week and as a precaution are treating me for a blood clot so I have some blood thinners to inject myself once a day.
This might sound silly but I hope the CT scan shows something otherwise I'm going to start thinking its all in my head.