Intrusive thoughts

[Jax68]

I finished my series chemo (first time I've had it) almost a year ago. Great news! But, I have to go for 3monthly checks and am finding it really difficult to forget about cancer. I get lots of intrusive thoughts about it. I'm about to have a second series of counselling, just wondered what anyone else has tried?

[Morini]

I have just finished maintenance treatment and am on 4 monthly checks. I'm not sure it ever goes away completely because it is a part of our past and also our present with those checks. But I understand how intrusive thoughts can stop us living in and enjoying today, I've had that on occasions.

I am also a counsellor, I think it could help lots. I would suggest a) a cancer specialist counsellor or b) a cognitive behavioural therapist counsellor or c) a counsellor who specialises in trauma.

I really hope you find your way to knock these thoughts into their rightful place xx

[Jax68 in reply to Morini]

Thanks so much Morini.I'm waiting for a call back from the Macmillan service. I'm trying to find a peer support group. So doing what I can.

Thanks for your good wishes. I hope things continue well for you.

Jax

[Tvam]

Congratulations on finishing your chemo, I can tell you that you are definitely not alone in continuing to worry about cancer. I was initially diagnosed in 2015 , had surgery and chemo, but it was at that stage that I struggled the most. During chemo I was so busy with appointments and hospital visits and then all of a sudden I was sent on my merry way and I was completely lost. I attended meetings at my local cancer support centre and had counselling there, that did help somewhat but it was still very difficult. I felt unable to make plans of any kind that were too far ahead, I felt guilty for not being over the moon at being 'cured' . I can tell you that anyone I've spoken to that's been on the same journey has had more or less the same experience. That said it does get better, I promise. With time things improve, a friend told me that one morning you wake up and cancer is not your first thought and it's better than winning the lottery. Of course the adrenaline goes into overdrive as I near scan appointments and check ups but I'm far more relaxed now. Sorry for such a long winded post but I really do know that fear and uncertainty, keep strong and rest assured that better times are coming

[Jax68 in reply to Tvam]

Thank you Tvam,

It's not a long winded answer at all. It's really good to hear your experience. Thank you.

I totally recognise that journey and dropping out the end of the treatment mincer and thinking what the ** happened. And those feelings you describe and the 'everyone is so happy I'm cured, but I don't feel it. I did, after treatment but often I think 'Am I in remission?' is that what you'd call it, or am cancer free, or did I beat cancer?

I think each is different.

The what if it comes back looms large and it's good to hear that you just move further away from the edge with that.

I like your friends comment and look forward to that!

Thanks again.

Jax