Hi all, I have many ocd themes which include blood borne viruses, horrendous fear of paedophiles to the point of weighing up almost everyone I clap eyes on as a potential sexual predator and endless what ifs. I feel like I've been making progress with this wicked bully OCD, when suddenly I was triggered by my brother talking about the real life boogey man "purple akie" (a scary sex offender from Liverpool who has terrified boys and men all over the country) which then led onto him talking about the Michael Jackson documentary and jimmy saville. That horrible stomach churning, dry mouth, mind racing, sweating, shaking dark cloud overtook me for over and hour, whilst I did acknowledge what was happening, i was incapable of putting any tools in place, the OCD endlessly put scenarios in my mind of times that my children could have been abused, for example:- if they had tea at a friends house, stayed over night with family, were babysat by friends. My mind is starting to clear slightly now 2 hours later but the shaking remains. I'm trying to act normal, but every time I look at one of my children, my heart bleeds for them as though these thoughts were true. I've got around 2 weeks before my online ocd targeted cbt starts, but times like this feel like the world is going by in slow motion. I'm reading lots about exposure and have definitely found it to be working on my less traumatizing themes. The online cbt is called silver lining if anyone has tried this and has found it useful it would be great to hear how it went.
Terrified: Hi all, I have many ocd themes which... - OCD Support
OCD Support
Terrified
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I know just how it is when your mind is spiralling and you can't use the tools you have learnt how to use with OCD. I'm hoping that it has settled down a bit more now.
I haven't had any experience of online CBT so I hope it goes well and is effective. Is it one-to-one and do you have a personal therapist or is it more impersonal. I should be interested to hear how it goes.
Meanwhile hold on in there! CBT really is effective and just knowing you have that support in place makes a difference.
Thankyou so much for your reply sallyskins, it means so much to be able to communicate with people who understand x I'm still shaking and exhausted but have made myself get on with everything I need to do today which I think helps, I got the name of the online cbt wrong, its called silvercloud, I really hope it makes a difference now that i know my problem is ocd, I'm also 3 weeks into an increase in my meds from 150mg sertraline to 200mg so im hoping that the extreme anxiety I'm having at the moment is due to this and is going to pass in a few weeks, thankyou once again for your support & I hope you have a good day x
I'm sorry your feeling like this and the never ending feeling too, It does settle and will do soon.
My life is like this at the moment too, and no matter how horrid the intrusive thought is, I embrace it, don't attach any meaning to it, it's not a warning sign, it's OCD trickery.
You've got this.
Thankyou katz, you're so right, im feeling a lot calmer right now and logic too, its just so exhausting isn't it x I've been thinking about the fact that I need to look after myself exercise and nutrition wise, keep things simple and hopefully things will improve soon x I'm sorry your feeling this way too x if you think it might help, you could message me and get how your feeling off your chest x
I'll hold you to that 😁 I'm glad you're feeling calmer, it's times like that, you think yeah, I made it again.
I know when we are in the thick of it, it's pure terror and we want to fix it yesterday!! but we can't, we have to ride it out, and have a front, so people don't know what we're going through.
You have my support, and your right, it's great to be on this forum surrounded by people that 100% get you.
Xx
Hi Shutterislandnel - It sounds like you are on the right track. Good luck to you.
Thankyou for your encouragement Sunn-E, it really means a lot. Good luck to you too x
You are so welcome.
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My OCD is too much to handle right now!
From bad...to worse! :S
False memories ruining my life ( this is just one false memory that is really effecting me)