I'm super happy with myself!!
I had a awful day yesterday, and had a few breakdowns Infront of family and friends over the weekend, AND at work π«ππ°
But I put my big girl pants on and I really opened up to my doctor, I told her EVERYTHING!! through laughter and tears!!! I didn't care how my OCD head was making me feel!!! and I didn't care when it made me feel I was being stupid, I cried it out!! and I wasn't weak, lol I kept saying to myself your a warrior, get it out. lol
You guys have made me face my darkest fears, and I've also learned so much more about my OCD through your experiences, and that's why I'm listing what I'm going through, so maybe you can get hope from this!!
The outcome is, I don't have to take medication, the doctor she feels it's the right choice for me!! She's going to refer me to CBT again, and she's told me I can write her a list of my health anxieties and we'll work through them. And I've finally admitted I have a unhealthy fear of food!!!!
I feel free to move forward... I have fears, and I'm going to deal with them and I'm going to keep moving forward.
OCD, you can go forth and multiple.
I also want to share this, my Dad used to call me scary because I showed very very little emotion, and after today I finally understand what I was doing at the time, from a age of really young years I put on a poker face, a blank expression, so no one would ever be affected by what was going on in my head, today I lost face, but in the most beautiful way, I had tears of victory today.
I love this forum.