Hi I have had ocd since I was 9 and maybe even before.I am mother of four girls ,my ocd has changed to different things over the years ,I would say it has become more severe in the last 4 yrs,I know I make life hard for my husband and children,I have tryed anti depressents,cbt,waiting for another appointment with this,so will see what happens .
I recently became a christian and find that having god in my life helps ,One day I hope i will be free of ocd and I hope Im on that path again ,love to hear from anybody else and offer support where I can ,thats it for now
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GOD? Why God? I believe totally in God which is so totally against my need for order, but I believe. My OCD has got so bad lately; looked at my wrists with a knife in my hands and trying to get a doctors appointment! Two weeks down the line because some people dont have to go to work. I need help now, but to be fair I let it go until things got too bad, AGAIN! I hate how I'm feeling; numbers, counting, measuring the distance between stuff, cleaning, feeeling dirty all the time (bought a bar of soap that went beyond clean; it took half my skin off to the point of bleeding!) Hell, who do you talk to when this crap kicks in?
You sound really stressed with the OCD ... I can only speak for myself but, a few months ago I got in touch with the Samaritans via email and signed up to thier monthly newsletter after I Googled them and looked at their website. I clicked on the personal experiences link and Janet's Story (not me) is about how she's managing her OCD ... it's quite a good encouraging story. Hope this helps in some way x
I never realy explained about my ocd so l will know and then ill answer why god ?.
I am worse with my ocd when im on my own,the checking ,ive cried with exhaustion with this,i cant wash on my own, id never come out of the shower ,ive made my skin bleed from over washing,or i convince myself ive put a chemical on me and then take ages to convince myself ive only used shampoo,i struggle using toilet paper and sometimes pull loads of convinced its all dirty.I cant make my own children a drink convinced i might put the wrong thing in and make them poorly,my husband would pre make them up for me before work,i cook the main meals but wont put water in i ask the older children for help or my husband .My husband h as become my safe net (poor bloke ). I struggle cleaning things convincing myself that ive used the wrong thing and then think it will be my fault if my family get poorly,when i say my ocd was't always this bad its because it got worse when my life seemed to get perfect,you start worrying hence the ocd kicks in, that something is going to go wrong.
I have got a little better in some things from the above and believe that the only way can be up but i dont think ill ever be cured as i have already been told this ! ,but i would like a bit of my life back and that is my aim.
The worse thing im struggling with and i dont want to write the word ,so ill try and explain i sold a car because i convinced my myself id spilt p.... all over it (you use it to run the car) and everything in the car had to go clothes ,babys pram everything that had ever been in the car,then we got a new car and ive never gone into a station ever on my own since that day my husband has to do it ,then i stopped going to supermarkets that had one joined on ,now i cant drive passed one in the car on my own ,so if i have to go out on my own i plan routes around them ,i cant take my children out for the day on my own to a random place i have to know where im going ,i cant go in certain towns because i have to be so far away from them it is slowly restricting me to be stuck at home .
Why god because I ask him to walk with me in situation and i trust him and i believe he will help and i dont want to sound like a bible basher but he has givin me such strengh in recent months and so has church and my friends there , I go to a very modern church and its helped .
I asked god for the strengh to walk a certain route which ment i could take my daugher to the park ,something id not done for a long time i asked him to walk with me and i can tell you i was shaking and struggling but i felt like someone had my hand and i did it and have been loads of times since,Im not saying its for evveryone and im not saying its gonna be a miracle and happen over night but i am feeling stronger again and with some more cbt and maybe meds (holding out on these) its a start
Like yourself I often ask God, the Angels and my loved ones in Heaven for help and guidance. And the feeling you describe like someone is holding your hand is something I've felt too. Keep the faith ... little steps ... onwards and upwards. Janet x
Its lovely to hear that you've found our Blessed Saviour! Through the trials of life keep your eyes on him and you will not sink for he won't let you! xx
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