From bad...to worse! :S

So...i rang my doc in a pretty desperate state the other day. Things had gotten pretty bad. Dark. I was wishing i had the guts to sign myself out of life. Then wished i was in some kind of day to day accident, so they could do the job for me and finish me off. I was so on edge. I was sitting in McDonalds with my son yesterday, and a man stands up from a table roughly 2/3 metres away and my whole body mind panicked. i thought he was about to attack me. i jumped. my neck/head seemed to turn in slow motion towards him. My strange dreams have started again. as well as the anxiety/adrenaline i feel pumping throughout my limbs. My ocd has been unbearable. to the point where i think i may be sick. Its there when i open my eyes til the moment i close them. Still awaiting CBT therapy since my mental health assessment about 2 months ago. need this for my OCD and anxiety. but now the depression has crept in massively! my doc has increased me to the max on my sertraline (200mg) and is writing to a psychiatrist for me in the mean time.

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  • Medicines often seem to give the side effects they are supposed to help

    It depends how long you have been on them

    The vivid dreams are common so is the anxiety

    Unfortunately the OCD can be linked to depression

    As a single parent and long time sufferer I know side effects can wear off if you are new to drugs

    On the other hand new side effects can appear later on

    Keep the Dr informed and personally I like to know the side effects too

    If you want you can read the instructions on the inside of the packet which comes with your tablets

    It is very hard when your symptoms manifest in public

    When we have children we have to stay connected but if things are really bad would soc Servs give you some child care for a break?

    Young carers are great it is a club with no fees for children who have family with chronic illness

    You are not alone keep going We,re all in the same boat here but some of us have been around longer I hope we can help a little

    So glad your Dr is giving you support can you talk to family?

    It is not your fault your brain chemistry is wrong

    If you can try to cut down on caffeine it should help to begin reducing the OCD

    OCD is a bully over time you will find it will die back

    You will learn what helps

    Being a single mum is hard anyway spend time outside in green areas if you can let the boy have some freedom

    Thinking of you

    K x

  • I've been on sertraline for a good while now. I don't want my son to go anywhere. I want the OCD to go. Yeah, i talk to family sometimes x

  • I know how you feel about the OCD BULLY

    You will learn over time how to cope but don't expect too much from people around you it can be hard for them too a couple of hours break wouldn't harm anyone I didn't mean to scare you by mentioning social services but if you have no one they might put something in place to support you especially if you go for CBT

    if you are not working have you applied for DLA?

    It can ease financial worries especially as a parent you have a Dr on side have you got a CPN or support worker?

    Just want you to know there are things can be done to help you cope

    K x

  • My mum has OCD so she's the only one who really understands out of the family. X

  • I have never heard of that before oh except on TV

    Thankfully it is not passed down so our children don't have to suffer

    Although we both know they have to live with us

    My mum could not cope with me after my husband left I went to stay and short story

    It didn't work

    We now get on ok but she has more to do with my sister who is schizophrenic

    They are both born again Christians

    Mum is amazing keeps chickens bees makes bread jam does crafts she is my pride and joy as it were I will never have all her qualities but I have a goal to go for

    I hope you sleep ok I had insomnia for ages

    You will have ups and downs but from where you are now I would say things can get a lot better have you read other posts too?

    It helps me to see I am not the only one

    K xx

  • Do we know for sure its not in our dna though!? Maybe it is dna and also environmental factors that play a part. i dont think i'm as bad as what my mum was. hers truly effected us all, physically, mentally and emotionally. sometimes i question how much of it was actually the OCD...and was there something else wrong too!?????? I read there is a link between OCD and epilepsy the other day...and me and my mum both have ocd and my older sister has epilepsy. makes me wonder. I sleep better now. I did go through a pretty bad stage nearer the beginning of this episode around easter. i would wake up several times in the night, wide eyes, sitting up straight, or from strange dreams/nightmares, sweating/crying/screaming etc. And yes, i read other posts :)

  • If you look up OCD images you will see pics showing brain activity of a person with out OCD then of a person with

    Clearly the brain activity of someone with is way double that of a normal person

    So there is a direct connection in a chemical/physical sense

    There a re different theories as to why it develops my personal view is that we inherit a wekness or susceptibility.

    I have a cousin who had a breakdown my grandfather probably had OCD he was invalid out of the first ww an aunt is a hoarder my son is heading that way and my sister has schizophrenia

    That s on both sides of the family and has taken me years to figure out but I have never seen anything scientific that agrees

    It is like pmt I have never seen a scientific link but if you talk to women with mental health problems you will find there suffering increases once a month

    It is really important for you to know you are not guilty on ANYTHING

    If you had cancer would anyone blame you for the effect in your child

    I agree your mum should be left in peace but I was told maybe write a letter not to send but to offload

    I know we are not experts but if this site gives any relief I will keep writing

    I believe it is helping me too

    When I read what I have written it sounds like some one else

    It is not the image of myself I like to portray

    Reaching out to you across the gulf you are amazing to do all that you do

    As I say I don't know but your dreams etc sound like side effects

    These can come on suddenly please ask maybe at least that can be regulated

    Kx

  • Yeah, I've seen the brain activity images. Yeah i find everything is 'darker' around pmt time. X

  • A maybe you could discuss with your Dr contraceptives

    If your cycle stops as it does for some it could cut out some of the most difficult times for you

    K x

  • Yeah, good idea x

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