I've suffered with OCD since my Nan died in 2007. It be the odd tap or opening and closing doors but since thenI feel like i have someone living inside my head. Telling me if i don't do something then something bad will happen. Like 1 of my family will die or I won't wake up in the morning.
I spend hours a day touching things. Making sure everything is straight. One of the biggest problems I have is checking that the 2 windows in my bedroom are fully locked. I've pressed the handle so much on the windows that one has fallen off.
The cooker and the tap in the kitchen ill stand and stare at them processing that both are off. In my head im speaking sayong "Off, off,off".
I have to take pictures on my phone of every plug, tap, cooker, window to make sure everything is turned off when i go out.
I got so bad that I had 2 weeks off A/L and when it was time to go back to work I starting getting anxiety attacks. My doctor thinks im just stressing over work and once i go back I be ok.
I cant live like this anymore. If i dont do what my head is telling me then it will keep going on and on till i do it. I need help, i need to over come this.
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Jodie19916
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This is so typical of OCD. It's bad of your doctor to just put it down to work stress when it is so obviously OCD.
Grief does things to us and affects us for longer than a lot of people imagine. It's not something you can just get over. And a major stress like losing your nan can trigger OCD.
The constant checking can get to a point where you simply feel you can't trust your own mind to know that you have switched something off or unplugged it. I like the way you say that it's like having someone living in your head! It's as though they are constantly putting unnecessary doubts in your mind, but then OCD is known as the 'doubting disease'. The problem is that the more you give in to the doubts the worse the doubts get.
The first thing you should do is to go back to your doctor and ask for a referral to a Community Mental Health Team for an assessment and course of therapy. CBT is effective for OCD and you may be prescribed medication. Don't be afraid to give that a go as SSRI antidepressants can be very good at helping you to fight the OCD.
Don't take no for an answer from your doctor. It's clearly OCD, it's treatable, and you have a right to appropriate therapy.
CBT takes a bit of effort and means you will feel you have to take a few risks. I know how difficult it is to go against the OCD but the more you can do it the weaker the OCD is.
Here are a couple of links that outline how CBT can help:
Do read the foreword by Professor Paul Salkovskis in this as it really explains how OCD bullies and lies and manipulates. This is the introduction to the book which is worth getting. It's called Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder from the Overcoming range of self help books.
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